244 Comments
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Robert Eckert's avatar

If anybody could make a college team lose to a junior high, it would be Tuberville.

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Marla's avatar

"Alabama's Stupidest Export"...

Scratch that. He's Flori-duh's stupidest export. He lives in Santa Rosa Beach.

Shame, isn't it? Florida gets 3 Senators and Alabama only gets one. Of course, when one of Florida's 3 is Tuberville and one is L'il Marco, I guess those two make 1 whole Senator.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

The other one is Scott who counts as negative one.

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The_Shadout_Mapes's avatar

Traitorous Shit Weasel. It is absolutely bugfucking bonkers crazy that one dumbfuck buffoon can stop Military promotions and that the rest of his party is letting him do it. Not one of them is condemning this fucking nonsense. Most powerful Military in the world brought to its knees, devastated not by war but by one soulless monster who could not give a single fuck about any pregnant person much less their imaginary babies. Unreal.

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Teddy Barnes's avatar

Vanderbilt 14-13 Clemson.......nuff said.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

We need a quiz show competition like in Billy Madison between Tuberville and Ron Johnson to see who truly is the dumbest senator in America.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

This must have been what it was like in the 1930s listening to Charles Lindbergh talk about how unbeatable Hitler was, if Lindbergh was a fucking idiot.

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John Ranta's avatar

Tommy Two Tubs must have taken a lot of helmet-to-helmet hits back in his playing days. Because he sure is a dumbass now. Which meant that a majority of Alabama voters picked him over Doug Jones, because they all know you can’t trust them smart ones.

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Rick Jacobs's avatar

Tuberville is painfully stupid.

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Lyndsey Loves tRump Farts's avatar

For the record, when Tubs was coach, Auburn coulda been beat by a Jr High team. So he should know.

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tegrat's avatar

This guy and Senator Johnson are clearly Russian assets. Not holding my breath, but the McConnells and Grahams should be calling them out more forcefully.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

McConnell’s brain is in power save mode and Lindsey is so far up Trump’s ass I doubt he can even hear Tubs.

So I wouldn’t hold my breath.

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PatM's avatar

The Republican party now is the Republican party that it has always been since WWII. It's been racists and misogynists and xenophobes and luddites all the way down the whole time. BUT it has changed in this one small way: The thin veneer of politically competent, sometimes even tragically noble aristocrats (See Eisenhower's farewell address, the one he gave after knowingly accepting Nixon as his running mate), who made up the top layer is now gone. The GOP is now fielding dumbasses like Tubs at every position.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

When you spend three decades using your propaganda networks to promote that idea that being pig ignorant is a virtue and that being an asshole is leadership, this is what you get.

The dumbasses whose brains have been marinating in Foxworld since 1996 are now the leaders of the party.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

When you spend three decades using your propaganda networks to promote that idea that being pig ignorant is a virtue and that being an asshole is leadership, this is what you get.

The dumbasses whose brains have been marinating in Foxworld since 1996 are now the leaders of the party.

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Pillbox Hat's avatar

Since before WWII. Many of them eagerly supported Hitler.

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Colbert Thorenson's avatar

So if firing your defense minister is a sign things are going bad,, how then are things going when your only effective general turns his troops around and starts heading towards your capital to coup your ass and you eventually have to fire his airplane without even going thru HR?

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William Donnell's avatar

To reiterate: "We shall bark at them on the beaches. We shall bark them up a tree. Never stop barking. "

- Sammy the shithole terrier

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Tetman Callis's avatar

I emailed Coach Tubs today, quoting this snippet from Heather Cox Richardson's September 5, 2023, "Letter from an American":

'Secretary of the Navy Del Toro, who was born in Cuba, said on CNN: “I would have never imagined that…one of our own senators would actually be aiding and abetting communist and other autocratic regimes around the world. This is having a real negative impact and will continue to have a real negative impact on our combat readiness. That’s what the American people truly need to understand.”'

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Goonemeritus's avatar

This is why I only vote for Curling athletes for the US Senate, they have much less head trauma

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

So Mad Marge and her CrossFit is out?

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

yeah, because football is exactly like geopolitics.

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ResistanceFictionistaBlondeIQ's avatar

When all you've got is a football, every problem looks like a game.

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Goonemeritus's avatar

Well they do both have cheerleader's on the payroll.

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