Tommy Tuberville’s Year Of Setting His Dick On Fire And Eating It Comes To Predictably Humiliating End
The Senate has confirmed the last of the military promotions he was holding up, the four-stars. And what does Tuberville have to show for it?
For Alabama Republican Senator Tommy Tuberville, who always comes across like he’s just had a particularly stinky run-in with the business end of an anvil, nearly a year of absolute, utter failure has just about come to an end.
Last night, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer confirmed the rest of the military promotions Tuberville had been holding up. There were 11 remaining. Now, for a Christmas miracle, there are zero:
The Senate confirmed nearly a dozen nominees for top military posts on Tuesday night, marking the end of Sen. Tommy Tuberville’s remaining holds over senior promotions.
With senators rushing to wrap up before the holiday, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer secured a deal to confirm all 11 nominees for four-star positions by voice vote. […]
At its height, the impasse ensnared more than 400 general and flag officers, whose confirmations are typically uncontroversial. It also at one point included the nominees for Joint Chiefs chair and most of the leaders of the military services.
Tuberville spent almost an entire year smushing his dumb little escaped coach face together in anger over the fact that President Joe Biden’s Pentagon is now willing to assist troops or their families if they need to travel out of state for abortion care, should they find themselves in one of America’s fascist states and unable to access it. This only became necessary because Donald Trump’s illegitimate partisan hack Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and confiscated America’s bodily freedom.
The overturning of Roe hasn’t gone over well with any American who matters, as we can see from pretty much every election result since, and Tuberville’s one-man dog-and-pony turd-sniffing show didn’t go over well either.
As the months went on and hundreds of Biden military nominees and promotions sat languishing, military leaders started standing up and asking the dipshit senator from Alabama, the very stupidest in the history of the body, to please stop hurting the military and national security and drop his holds. They asked him to stop aiding and abetting America’s enemies.
But the clownfucking redneck from Alabama just couldn’t and wouldn’t stop. He felt it was more important to hurt America to achieve his ideological religious goals, because that’s the kind of guy he is.
The babbling idiot coward Tuberville caved on most of the nominees he had been holding up, all those below the four-star level, at the beginning of this month. “We got all we could get” in the way of concessions and compromises from Joe Biden’s Pentagon, he told reporters. What he meant to say was that he got nothing.
And Tuberville got nothing in exchange for these last 11 nominees at the four-star level. We have literally just endured almost a year of this impertinent little hayseed hurting America’s military so that ultimately he can go home to his family for Christmas to brag that daddy did nothing again. He caved like the weakling he is.
“These 11 flag officers have now been approved, joining the rest of their colleagues who we approved a few weeks ago,” Schumer said following their confirmation. “That’s good news.”
Minority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters after leaving the Senate floor, “It’s good news. We’re happy about it.”
Politico has more quotes from senators, all of which express some level of satisfaction that Tuberville’s little rake-stepping show is over, at least for now.
They caution that there is one nominee who hasn’t made it out of committee, and that Tuberville could always get an itch up his ass and start doing this in the new year all over again. And they note that for civilian Pentagon nominees, Tuberville hasn’t lifted his hold.
But we are fully confident that any remaining actions taken by Tuberville will result in the same level of failure he’s used to over his 69 embarrassing years.
He should think of that the next time he tries to have input on anything, anywhere.
[Politico]
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After Ole Miss's 1998 regular season ended, Tuberville said, "They'll have to carry me out of here in a pine box", in reference to not leaving Ole Miss to coach at another school. Less than a week later, it was announced that he was departing for Auburn.
NEVER FORGET.