Trump And Lindsey Graham Having Tantrums At NATO Allies, Nobody Will Help Them Bomb Iran!
All our allies falling in line ... to tell Trump to suck it.
Donald Trump is so mad. Nobody wants to help him and Secretary of WAR! Peter Shitfaced bomb the shit out of Iran, even though Peter Shitfaced is now telling “sir” stories (means they’re a lie, clearly he’s thirstily emulating Daddy) about troops begging him for bigger bombs. Nobody, that is, except Benjamin Netanyahu, and that’s the genocidal bastard who ordered Trump to do it in the first place.
Consider how these headlines have rolled out this week:
Spain announces that it’s closing airspace to US military planes bombing little girls in Iran. This comes after an earlier announcement that the US couldn’t use the Morón and Rota bases in southern Spain as a staging ground for Hegseth to work out his masculinity issues. White House huffily responds that they ain’t need Spain anyway.
They can’t use Sicily either, which is closer to Iran, geographically. Last week, the Italian government reportedly said there was no room at the inn on its Sigonella base in Sicily for US war planes itching to explode Iranian schoolchildren and wouldn’t let them land there. Reason? Well, they hadn’t actually asked. They are supposed to ask before they just land their planes all over Sicilian air bases.
And Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni loves Trump, so that’s gotta chap his ass.
This latest one was reported by the chapped ass himself, probably as he grunted atop his golden throne during one of what we imagine are the 11 or 18 shits he takes each morning:
“The Country of France wouldn’t let planes headed to Israel, loaded up with military supplies, fly over French territory,” he whined, about the “Country of France.” He went on to bitch that “France has been VERY UNHELPFUL with respect to the ‘Butcher of Iran,’ who has been successfully eliminated!” (And replaced with the butcher’s butcher-y son.)
“The U.S.A. will REMEMBER!!!” signed President Sundowner.
That came after this meltdown, an hour before:
LOL.
“You weren’t there for us.”
Trump has been whining and whining and whining about NATO countries refusing to join his “Butcher of the United States” operation, because A) he’s a whiny little bitch and B) he’s too stupid to understand that the whole Article 5 thing is about defense and applies to when members nations are attacked. It doesn’t state that if bloodthirsty boys with daddy issues like Trump, Peter Shitfaced, and Lindsey Graham want to start a war, all member nations must comply and enthusiastically participate.
(And all the complaining he does about NATO not showing up for us, he clearly doesn’t know that the only time Article 5 has ever been invoked, it was done for the United States, after 9/11. But we guess Trump was too busy jerking himself to fantasies about having the tallest building in lower Manhattan in the days immediately after.)
So that’s one meltdown.
And then since we invoked his name, there is Lindsey Graham, who’s been walking around Walt Disney World with his warboner sticking out, right where schoolchildren can see him. Also with a bubble wand, as you can see in this picture shared by TMZ:
That’s right. Lindsey played with a bubble wand and he rode Space Mountain and then he went shooting (like a MAN!), and somewhere in there he found time to absolutely queen out at Spain on Twitter, demanding Trump put sanctions on the United States’s NATO ally for daring to have a different opinion on the wisdom of sucking Benjamin Netanyahu’s war cock in Iran.
Oh go sit on that bubble wand and spin, Lindsey.
Hey, remember that time Lindsey Graham got shitfaced drunk with Dana Bash? Don’t know why we thought of that just now.
Anyway, so here we are. Telling Donald Trump’s warmongering loser ass (approval rating 33 percent) to fuck off is the hottest global trend, even among our allies! Who will be next to offend Dear Leader and tell him to get bent?
More importantly, who will pull out of the World Cup first?
Good a time as any!
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Speaking of bombing Iran:
RUBIO: “Imagine if Iran spent billions on its people instead of weapons... They’d have a much different country.”
I expected better from the winner of the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize.