Trump Embarrassed Himself And America At The G7, Just Like The Good Old Days
Next he'll tell us to drink bleach!
Donald Trump has just concluded another humiliating G7. Oh it’s still going on, mind you, six other democratic world leaders doing their best to get things done, but Trump left with his butt dragging against the ground last night because he had to “deal” with a “crisis” in “Situation Room.”
The crisis was apparently himself shitting his pants on Truth Social and telling everybody in Tehran to run away:
He is so easily frightened. You would have thought Benjamin Netanyahu was currently in the process of hurling nukes into the sky. In fact, that was our personal first thought when we saw it. But nah. Trump was just squealin’.
But again, the G7 had been going hilariously poorly for Trump, just as it always did in his first term. It is his thing, embarrassing himself at the G7.
And as he would always do in the first term — because his brain is one spinning loop of approximately 150 words and commands he recognizes, because he is Vladimir Putin’s very good dog! — Trump spent some time babbling his mouth off about how it used to be the G8, now it’s the G7, it really should be the G8 again, everybody misses Vladimir Putin, Putin was very insulted to get kicked out of the G8, if you hadn’t kicked Putin out there would never have been a war, and so forth.
Here is a news report on that:
One of the most embarrassing, yet predictable features of this year's G7 was Donald Trump's slobbering insistence on being his real dad Vladimir Putin's man in the room, even though Putin was kicked out of the group several years back, for his illegal invasion and annexation of the Crimean peninsula. But oh no, Donald Trump said, as he has said before! Putin was kicked out because he HUMILIATED BARACK OBAMA, and so the entire G7 kicked Putin out because OBAMA'S FEELINGS GOT HURTED! That's right, yet again Trump took the side of America's greatest foreign adversary, and against the former president of the United States. Anyway, Putin should be invited back in, because Trump is lonely in a room full of world leaders who believe in democracy and have self esteem.
Just kidding, that was Wonkette’s report on the 2019 G7!
This is what he said in 2025:
TRUMP: The G7 used to be the G8, Barack Obama and a person named Trudeau didn't want to have Russia in. I would say that was a mistake, because I think you wouldn't have a war right now if you had Russia in, and you wouldn’t have a war right now if Trump were president four years ago, but it didn’t work out that way, but it used to be the G8, and now it’s, what’s that, nine years ago, eight years ago, it switched over, they threw Russia out, which I claimed was a very big mistake, even though I wasn’t in politics then, I was very loud about it, it was a mistake in that you spend so much time talking about Russia and it makes life more complicated, but you wouldn’t have had the war …
As we were saying about Trump’s dog brain (and Trudeau wasn’t prime minister then, but anyway). Watch the video:
For the record, it is still the case that Putin was kicked out of the G8 because he invaded and seized Crimea. As Putin is currently engaged in a far greater genocidal murder rape baby-kidnapping war against Ukraine, he still is not welcome. No matter how much his dumpy, dementia-addled asset in the White House feels lonely at these things without him.
Shortly after that, apparently tired of listening to old President Dementia Sprinkles talking to himself about clouds, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney intervened to stop reporters from asking any more questions:
So things really went great and the United States has again been humiliated on the global stage.
Our favorite part was when Trump fake signed a fake trade deal with a fake country and then he dropped his fake trade deal everywhere and the British Prime Minister had to help him pick it up.
Yesssss. Trump said he had just signed a “trade agreement” with the “EU.” And to be clear, he was saying “we” like he meant he signed it with the man next to him, Keir Starmer, the prime minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, which is somewhat famously not in the EU anymore.
So unless President Art Of The Deal negotiated an end to Brexit yesterday, um …
Anyway, at that point, President Little Paws dropped all his papers everywhere, revealing they were all blank, except he had affixed his gigantic Sharpie toddler signature to one of the pieces of oversized paper. Keir Starmer had to help him pick them up, because Trump is very old and his mind and body are going.
Here is a scene from what little of the meeting Trump was present for. French President Emmanuel Macron and Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni are telling secrets, and Meloni is rolling her eyes like something EPIC and Trump is across the room with nobody to tell secrets with, because everybody hates him. Also he farts a lot, as we all remember from his criminal trial.
Wonder who they are gossiping about! It is a mystery.
Maybe Giorgia Meloni was rolling her eyes because Macron was telling her about how Trump had farted earlier and tried to blame it on Barack Obama. You don’t know, that might be it.
Anyway, ever since Trump left, he’s been nailing it at life, as usual. He lashed out at Macron for allegedly getting it wrong that Trump had left the G7 to work on a “cease fire” between Israel and Iran. WRONG! said Trump on Truth Social.
Looking like absolute worn-out shit on Air Force One, he told reporters he won’t be calling Minnesota Governor Tim Walz to offer condolences.
TRUMP: I don't wanna call him. […] I think the Governor of Minnesota is so wacked out. I’m not calling. Why would I call? I could call him and say, 'Hi, how you doing?' The guy doesn’t have a clue. He's a mess. So, I could be nice and call him, but why waste time?
He’s scared of Tim Walz, is what he’s saying. That guy might call him weird to his face.
And now we guess he’s just wherever he is, continuing to shit his pants about Iran, while the rest of the world makes decisions without his input. Here’s the latest:
Uh huh, yep, we’re sure he’s got it all under control.
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"he won’t be calling Minnesota Governor Tim Walz to offer condolences"
"Thank God for that--we've suffered enough!"
- Tim Walz
Again, the USA chose this humiliation and chaos.