Trump Org CFO Allen Weisselberg Back To Rikers! Again!

Five months in stir for perjuring himself for the Don.

It’s five months in Rikers for the Trump Org’s nebbishy, now balder former CFO Allen Weisselberg, who pleaded guilty March 4 to two counts of perjury and admitted to being a lying liar in depositions and on the stand at Trump’s New York civil fraud trial last year. 

In a short hearing, Judge Laurie Peterson asked Weisselberg if he had anything to say, and he grumbled “no, your honor.” Then bailiffs shackled up the septuagenarian for a roll on the gray goose, and he was back to the digs where he spent 100 days for tax fraud last year, befriending rats and training cockroaches to smuggle cigarettes, while his old boss still remains free as a dumpy bird. 

You’ll recall last October this geezer was abruptly tweezered off the stand in Judge Arthur Engoron’s courtroom like a tick off a coonhound, hours after Forbes reporter Dan Alexander published a piece pointedly titled “Trump’s Longtime CFO Lied, Under Oath, About Trump Tower Penthouse” and delivered the receipts.

“I never focused on the triplex, to be honest with you,” Allen had been la-di-dah’ing on the stand. “It was almost de minimis relative to his net worth, so I really didn’t focus on it… I never even thought about the apartment.” Ugh, so over it! YAWN!

But, in fact, Big Don and Allen had been obsessively humping Forbes’ leg for years trying to get reporters to accept a ridiculously inflated size and value for his gaudy aerie, one that would prove to the world that Donny Don was really Richie Rich rich and deserved to be higher on the magazine’s rich people ranking.

In 2012, AW pestered Forbes reporters that the apartment was worth $88 million, then in 2013, $200 million, and in 2014, okay, maybe Forbes could pretty please say it was worth $163 million? Hey, stop laughing! Then in a 2020 deposition, he claimed he “didn’t know” about the “error” that tripled the triplex’s size.

By the way, AW’s previous 100-day tax fraud sentence was handed down by none other than Judge Juan M. Merchan, who will be presiding over Trump’s porny peener payoff trial starting Monday. Allen figures bigly as the guy who signed off on the payments, though CNN reports that as part of the deal he will not have to testify against Big Donnie for this one. Which is just as well because Allen’s good for nothing but perjury and amnesia, and the state’s got no lack of receipts.

Merchan had some pointy words for Allen back then, letting him know he was lucky he got a sweetheart deal with 100 days: “I would be imposing a sentence much greater than that. I’m not going to deviate from the promise, though I believe a stiffer sentence is warranted, having heard the evidence."

So much for trying to make an honest man of him.

Twenty years ago, Allen and wife Hilary bought themselves a home down the road from Mar-a-Lago in Florida, where they coulda woulda shoulda been spending their golden years, if Allen had just agreed to tell the truth. Makes you wonder what kind of kompromat Trumpistan has on Allen? Or Stockholm syndrome? Like Waylon Smithers, Weisselberg was whelped by the company, going straight from college to working for Old Klannie Fred back in the ‘70s. Guess we’ll never really know what’s in that guy’s head, unless he writes a prison memoir. Oh well, see you in five months, Allen, enjoy those baloney sandwiches!

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