668 Comments

The canary joke is solid gold

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that the judge is now keeping a canary on his desk as an early-warning system.

o.k., you got me Gary.... I actually started laughing out loud at my desk... glad the boss just walked out...

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Bob Wooward said that during a live interview, Trump was Un-Depends able.

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"shart end of the stick" is possibly the best thing I have ever read.

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"shart end of the stick" is possibly the best thing I have ever read.

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I think we've cleared the air about whether or not Melania sleeps in the same bed...

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Guess she didn't enjoy receiving a Dutch oven on every occasion.

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A scene that sometimes occurs in horror movies has one of the characters (usually the villain) decomposing in a few seconds from a handsome young man into a foul corpse. I didn't expect to see this happening in real life.

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Except for the "handsome young man" part.

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I'm going to entertain myself with the idea of a HAZ-MAT team having to hose him down like Paul Rudd in Anchorman.

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I'm just glad he didn't get to bring his stench to my hometown yesterday, he's rubbed himself on it too much already in the last eight years. It says a lot about this area of NC that he has rallies here - for one thing it's the only town to have had a successful, violent racist insurrection in the history of the US.

I can't wait until I can get out of here.

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Trump has started a 21st century whistle stop tour, doing his rallies on the tarmac outside the plane, because he can't afford stadium rents for those he didn't stiff in the '20 campaign.

The possibility of inclement weather is not Donnie's friend.

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Every single juror in his case should be allowed to serve with their heads completely veiled for safety. And sequestered under trumps dime due to jury harassment.

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Put Jesse Watters in the hoosegau for a day for jury tampering and the rest will shut their yaps tight.

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Everybody farts. People who eat garbage fart more atrociously than people who eat real food. People rotting from the inside as their decaying remnants of a human soul feed on their bowels - now that’s some stink.

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I finally realize what Trump liked about Rush Limbaugh (whom David Letterman called a bag of hot gas - or something similar).

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With the shitshow Russia's unleashed on Europe I'd propose calling them "Tootin' and Pootin'

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Giuliani audibly farted during testimony. So, Rootin’ Tootin’ and Pootin’

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Pootie Tang(erine)!

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I was drawn to Wonkette by their dedication to dick jokes. I should have known they'd rise to the occasion when the occasion calls for fart jokes.

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The Pootie & Pooter Show!

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founding
Apr 21·edited Apr 21

"the judge is now keeping a canary on his desk as an early- warning system." Gary, I've been lurking on Wonkette since the Obama/McCain election (hennnggh!) and it's the first time I've had to stop reading at work b/c of uncontrollable snorfling. Just masterful

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Same! I had to interrupt my husband (who is building me a new kitchen at the moment) to read most of this one from Gary out loud to him—and once again, he said, "Why don't you read it a few times first so you can get all the giggles out before you try reading it out loud."

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Not so sure it's possible to read out loud without giggling...!

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