615 Comments

Electrocution works for me, trumpy, but 30 years in jail is also good.

And not self-respecting shark would eat trump. Biden would be much tastier and is not bright orange.

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It’s comforting to see his keen grasp of the most pressing issues of the day is undiminished.

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That sad thing is that that is true, as amply demonstrated during trump's presidency.

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Ta, Evan. No video for me, thanks.

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I would rather have my kidney stone back that subject myself to one more millisecond of footage of... that

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"I will take electrocution every single time. Do we agree?"

I just sit back and imagine this as his answer to a very different question at a federal super-max prison death house.

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“Mr. Trump, you have been convicted of 91 felonies by a jury of normal people (not your peers), and your sentence is immediate death with no due process or appeal, like you and your colleagues keep fantasizing about for shoplifters. You may choose death by electrocution, or shark. Choose and perish.”

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“A good man will suffer many slings and arrows by the deranged socialist communists and fake news media but his spirit shall be free like a bigly hung stallion and shall never be broken.”

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I loved the part where he was hollering about the giant water valve in Northern CA - "have you seen it?", circles his arm - "it's as big as this room!" Open that valve and the water comes pouring down from northern CA to central valley. There will be billions to be made in ag. There are farmers here, right. I got $28B from China for the farmers with my tariffs. There will be so much water the people in Beverly Hills will stop smelling bad as they will have thunderous showers not drip, drip, drip showers. And this would have been done by my administration except the communist, socialist, children mutilating then children murdering, corrupt, evil democrat Newsome would not let me.

I am not exaggerating above. It was nuttier than my summary. And the crowd applauds like yeah, why don't those fucking child mutilating Dems open that fucking valve?

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founding

"The valve", well doesn't that perfectly represent the simplistic, cartoonish way these idiots perceive the world? Like the whole complicated interconnected hydrology of northern California resolves into one giant pipe with one immense valve, and the enormously complex issues of water distribution within the state come down to this single simple solution. The world according to Mel Blanc. And this moronic nonsense goes over a treat with his intellectually impoverished followers, none of whom should be allowed to play with matches or sharp objects.

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Yes, we should definitely open that valve so the corporate farms in the San Joaquin Valley can continue to grow inappropriate (but profitable) crops in a desert. Never mind that New Orleans is now serving as an object lesson of what happens when freshwater flows to an ocean (Sacramento River, meet the Mississippi; SF Bay and Delta, meet New Orleans) are below levels needed to prevent salt water intrusion.

In the case of California, salt water incursion will destroy another farming area, the SF Bay Delta... and screw up the drinking water supply for smaller towns in that region.

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founding

Exactly what I was talking about and what that burned-out bulb is not. Republicans never learn; for every complex problem there is a solution that is simple, direct and catastrophically wrong.

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"I choose electrocution!" -- "Your proposal is acceptable."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpuPN3bT3Xw

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I think he's sending coded messages to his buddy Vladimir to get him out of the States asap. I mean, his boat is obviously sinking.

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What's in it for Vlad?

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A human Fleshlight?

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Ew!! Lunchtime, you know!

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I know! I should be punished for such gag-inducing suggestions!

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Oct 3, 2023·edited Oct 3, 2023

"Mom, the evil yam we wished into existence in that haunted pumpkin patch is drunk again..!"

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I don't think trump drinks at all, so maybe it would be an improvement.

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I think I like "Evil Yam" better than "PAB" now

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Iowa Rally Attendee Person: "I have no idea what he is talking about, so he must be really smart."

Or is that SMRT?

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Afraid of SHARKS?

If what I've heard is true, he should be afraid of SHARTS.

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Release the Kraken.

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Sharks? I've read "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." You want to talk about those giant squid thingies?

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Does someone write these diatribes for him or do they just roll out of his own brain? And know why he thinks he's brilliant? No one has ever had these thoughts before.

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I would say "ooze" rather than "roll out."

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Hard to say that no one ever had these thoughts before as we aren't privy to people's thoughts generally, but it's easy to say that no one has ever aired such thoughts, if they ever had them, the way he has.

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Personally, I'm not afraid of sharks. I live land, a fair way from the nearest ocean. (Or river, if you include bull sharks. And you should.)

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I think if you could hear his inner monologue it would be scary, like Jeff Goldblum in "The Fly." Except in this case he's slowly turning into a yam.

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I think he's got an action/adventure trailer with him as the hero playing in his head.

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3rd time that someone mentioned that Jeff Goldblum is in The Fly. It just... keeps happening to me. I should rewatch that movie.

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Seeing the teleprompters so clearly there, it's hard not to think of the poor staffers who put the text in there and thought, well if he sticks to this...and then seeing him go off on fucking bizarre tangents...

*Okay, I don't actually have sympathy for them because they are working for him intentionally, but..

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Except Trump spells "working" V O L U N T E E R.

If Trump could spell.

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his weird tirade about electric boats just ignores over a century of hybrid electric submarines that definitely also have batteries. someone should call the Navy and warn them about the dire shark vs. electrocution predicament they've been put in (and/or been living for a 100+ years).

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Not to mention all the trolling motors on the bass boats his *base* is so fond of

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1. Trump's campaign plane crashing. A horrible accident.

2. Trump's campaign plane crashing but without Trump on board. An awful tragedy.

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Well, I doubt the sharks would bite Trump. Professional courtesy and all.....

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founding

Pretty sure he would taste like rancid chicken schmaltz

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