Trump's Bread And Circuses Whittled Down To Some Stale Moldy Crust And A Couple Clowns
Even Bret Michaels has dropped out.
Things are not going well for Donald Trump’s Fyre Festival 250! On Thursday, we reported that several musical acts had signed up to perform at his Great American State Fair to celebrate the USA’s 250th anniversary, although even by that time, both Morris Day and The Time and Young MC had pulled out of the event.
Since then, the Commodores, Martina McBride, and even Bret Michaels have all canceled as well, stating that they, too, were misled about what the event even was and did not realize that it was going to be a celebration of all things Trump. Most stated that they just didn’t want to get political … but it’s pretty clear that they did not want to be associated with the flaming garbage fire that is the Trump administration. After all, McBride has performed at several events for the Clintons and the Obamas.
“The Commodores will not be performing at the Great American State Fair,” the group wrote on Instagram. “Our music has always been our voice and we choose not to publicly affiliate with any single political party. We support the betterment of all Americans.”
You may all now recommence singing “Brick House.”
Martina McBride also released a statement on social media:
I would like to talk to you and clear the air. I will not be performing at the Great American State Fair on June 25th. I was presented with an opportunity to perform at a nonpartisan event but that turned out to be misleading. I asked lots of questions and was assured this was a nonpartisan event that was meant to celebrate ALL 50 states. In my mind I thought this was a great way to celebrate the states and also bring people together in the way that only music can. I saw it as just a bigger version of so many state fairs I have performed at over the years, celebrating community and what makes each state special.
Sounds fun, right? Wholesome even. Yesterday things started changing and what we were told is, in fact, not what is happening.
I’ve spent my entire career singing songs about real people with real issues. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to be a voice for those who have felt like they didn’t have one. It greatly upsets me that any fan who has been moved by my music may now feel like I’m abandoning the meaning behind those songs. I assure you, that is not the case. I appreciate every single fan who has reached out. I hope to get back to the DC area very soon.
Well, that is just very lovely, no?
On Instagram, most of the responses were supportive, but it was another story over on X the Everything App. Legions of randos responded to McBride’s decision by reminding her what they did to the Chicks (formerly the Dixie Chicks) and how they got Cracker Barrel to change their logo back.
Gee, remember when they were all so upset over “cancel culture”? It’s almost as though they were entirely full of shit and were not mad about it on principle, but because they didn’t like it when people found their terrible views appalling enough to not want anything to do with anyone who shared them.
As one very whiny Trumper more or less explained on Xitter, they primarily see art as a means to power, rather than a good in and of itself. So weird how they’re not good at it, considering that!
Perhaps the most surprising backout, however, was Bret Michaels — who was actually on The Apprentice with Trump. However, while he, too, said that the event was misrepresented to him, he hinted at “threats and safety concerns,” as though people were gonna go and murder him, his family, or his fans for playing the world’s saddest state fair.
He wrote:
Unfortunately, what was presented to us as a celebration of our country has evolved into something much more divisive than what I agreed to be a part of. Concerns have also been raised regarding the safety of my fans, band, crew, family and myself, including threats that are completely unfounded and unforgivable.
Because of that, I have made the difficult decision to step away from this performance.
This isn’t about politics. It’s about staying true to what l’ve always believed in. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. That’s one of the freedoms our veterans fought for and something I’ve always respected. But as a father, friend and bandmate, I have to take threats and safety concerns seriously.
Huh.
As for Milli Vanilli and C&C Music Factory, things are a bit more complicated. As it turns out, Fab Morvan doesn’t totally have the right to go around calling himself Milli Vanilli. In a press release sent out Thursday, the members of The Real Milli Vanilli — which features the people who actually sang the damn songs instead of lip syncing to them — distanced themselves from the event and said they would not be involved in any capacity.
“The original/real vocalists of Milli Vanilli, Jodie Rocco, Linda Rocco, Brad Howell, John Davis, and Charles Shaw will NOT be performing their hits live at The Great American State Fair,” the statement read. “Others using the name ‘Milli Vanilli’ that appear on the advertisement should be considered a tribute band with no association vocally or musically to our sound or songs.”
Burn!
Also, as it turns out, the guy who was representing himself as C&C Music Factory is neither C nor C. C&C were producers David Cole and Robert Clivillés and the Music Factory was almost literally a music factory. Cole and Clivillés basically just contracted a bunch of performers to do their songs. Freedom Williams, who you will recall issued an absolutely batshit rant on Instagram whilst sitting on his toilet (which I admit I did not realize, because it just would not occur to me that anyone would do that), is a guy who rapped on a few of their songs and then asked to be let out of his contract in order to pursue a solo career. Then, several years after David Cole’s death in 1996 (after which the project was abandoned), Williams went ahead and trademarked the C&C Music Factory name (which had never been trademarked) and started touring under that name.
Anyway! Clivillés is understandably real pissed about the whole situation, and would like it to be clear that the actual C&C Music Factory has nothing to do with this and encouraged fans to take to Williams’s page to vent.
“Please be aware that Freedom Williams has done his best to misuse our name, C&C Music Factory, which means Civillés & Cole Music Factory,” Clivillés wrote in a since-deleted Instagram post. “Freedom Williams should not be using this name to tour or represent what this group stands for. Any political or religious show or comment Freedom Williams makes regarding any shows, views or opinions… (have) absolutely nothing to do with C&C Music Factories (sic) viewpoint at all. The group stands for love and peace of all people globally and neutrality. We take the side of love and peace always. Please go to his page and vent.”
In other news, I am now extremely into C&C Music Factory lore.
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All that is left, it seems, besides those two “tribute acts,” are Vanilla Ice and Flo Rida, so that’s going to be pretty awkward. But hey! They’ve got a month to find some other acts. Pat Boone is still kicking, it seems, so that could be an option. Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Nicki Minaj, Kanye. Or hey! Jerry Only, Glenn Danzig, and Michael Graves all have terrible politics, though obviously a lot of us like to ignore that because of how much we love The Misfits. Any of your general, Skrewdriver-esque white power punk bands, which there have unfortunately been a lot of. Mike Love, he’s pretty gross. Johnny Rotten. Several random American Idol people. Um. Oh! There’s the AI bot who sang that “We Are Charlie Kirk” song?
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Hey, why not make the whole thing AI? Just have a bunch of random Trumpers lip sync to robots, like in all those videos of AI Barron Trump singing that they love so much.
That’s it. That’s the way they should go. Because the robots, unlike human beings who are still trying to make a living off of their music, will never abandon them.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
It would be funny if the Violent Femmes played an acoustic protest set just outside the grounds.
Everything Trump Touches Dies