Trump’s Leaked Ukraine 'Peace Plan' Actually Just Putin's Letter To Santa
With a side of bribes and looting, obviously.
There’s a new leaked 28-point US peace plan for Ukraine and Russia, and it is such an embarrassing capitulation to Russia, with a side of grift obviously. Maybe it sounded more noble in the original Russian. Whatever kompromat Jeffrey Epstein may have passed on about Trump and Bubba has got to be some real filth!
The plan came out Friday, ahead of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s meeting in Geneva over the weekend with US officials, and the White House and Secretary of State Marco Rubio confirmed its authenticity. Trump moaned that if Zelenskyy did not accept it by Thanksgiving, he could “continue to keep fighting his little heart out.” (You know how “Thanksgiving” is such a meaningful deadline, for Ukrainians and other non-Americans.)
But the leaked plan was so bad three days later Rubio walked back to senators that it was even the plan the US was pushing. The only person who seems to like it is Lindsey Graham. (Wonder what filth Russia has on him?) And now even Russia says they don’t want it, because it doesn’t give them the entire nation of Ukraine, duh.
Lord, this plan is so bad no one will claim authorship! Though Reuters reports it was secretly written in Miami in late October by Jared Kushner, who surely has read 25 books on the subject; Steve Witkoff, Trump’s special envoy/golf buddy/real estate developer who’s met with Russians like half a dozen times with no translator; and Kirill Dmitriev. Remember Dmitriev? He was that Russian envoy who once met with Blackwater war profiteer/Betsy DeVos baby brother Erik Prince in the Seychelles in 2017. Now he’s under US sanctions, and leads the Russian Direct Investment Fund. Perfect guy to manage those two useful, greedy idiots!
PREVIOUSLY!
How fucking embarrassing. That this administration has the OPSEC of a sieve. Also the ongoing willful blindness to how Russia has violated previous treaties going back to the Budapest Memorandum about 190 times, including with its invasion of Ukraine in the first place.
And how the US is violating a treaty too by second-guessing and ass-dragging about coming to Ukraine’s aid, as it promised in exchange for Ukraine giving up nuclear weapons. Not to mention how Trump has been vowing since February that there will be extra-super-duper sanctions for Russia if Vladimir does not STOP, and he has now backed off from even that feeble threat.
In the plan, Russia promises to ceasefire. Kind of. The language is, “It is expected that Russia will not invade neighboring countries and NATO will not expand further.” We expect better from you, and sure hope we aren’t disappointed!
In exchange for this renewed and obvious expectation, Ukraine’s sovereignty is “confirmed,” but also, it is supposed to agree to limit the size of its armed forces to 600,000 people; agree to never join NATO, or the EU; and NATO agrees to never, ever let Ukraine join, or to put troops in Ukraine; and Ukraine would agree to hold an election within 100 days. You know, because all Ukraine’s enemies and fairweather friends (that’d be the Trump administration) want to push Zelenskyy out. As if these are things Donald J. Trump can even dictate to a sovereign country/countries, or to NATO, which is not a party to this agreement. That does not sound very “sovereign”! But kidnapped Ukrainian children and civilians will be returned — allegedly — and there would be a ceasefire, so that is nice.
As a prize for being so helpful, US companies will get first dibs on “corporate opportunities” to rebuild Ukraine, and extract its natural resources. Europe will put in $100 billion for reconstruction, and then the US will get half of the profits! What a deal! Sure sounds like Russia trying to bribe the US into giving it a win in a war that it is otherwise losing. Bet Kushner wrote that part!
And Russia would get even more. No more sanctions, and it would get let back into the G8! Half of the electricity generated by the Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant. And territory, of course. Crimea, Luhansk and Donetsk, and the parts of Kherson and Zaporizhzhia it has managed to invade so far. And Donetsk Oblast will be considered a neutral demilitarized buffer zone, internationally recognized as territory belonging to Russia. Also a case of Turtle Wax, and a lifetime supply of Rice-a-Roni.
Oh yes, and Ukraine must do DEI! (In a limited way that benefits Russians.) “Ukraine will adopt EU rules on religious tolerance and the protection of linguistic minorities.” Plus, “all Nazi ideology and activities must be rejected and prohibited.” Well ain’t that the pot callin’ the kettle.
Also, notably, the agreement uses the Russian spellings for things, which sure makes it look like somebody just pasted it right into Google translate.
And all of this peace would be overseen by a Peace Council headed by Trump himself. And if Russia violates it, it will get the sanctions again that the agreement just removed. But never anything stronger than that, and definitely no boots on the ground! NATO will have to just sit back and watch, and American boots are for American cities and blowing up Spanish-speaking fishermen in international waters only.
A word from the BITCH WHO WARNED YOU.
The “plan” was so obviously Russia’s Christmas wish list that even Republicans in Congress were disgusted, and Marco Rubio disowned it as a work in progress. Republican Sen. Mike Rounds from South Dakota:
“Secretary Rubio did make a phone call to us this afternoon. I think he made it very clear that we are the recipients of a proposal that was delivered to one of our representatives. It is not our recommendation. It is not our peace plan. It is a proposal that was received and, as an intermediary, we have made arrangements to share it. We did not release it — it was leaked. It was not released by our members or our representatives.”
Yeah, we get it. It’s Russia’s plan!
Rubles Rubio pushed back:
Uh huh, yeah, sure, whatever demonic combination of Jared Kushner, AI and Russia’s moneyman authored the thing, it is a no-go.
The European Union rejected it. European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen said in a statement:
Any credible and sustainable peace plan should first and foremost stop the killing and end the war, while not sowing the seeds for a future conflict. We have agreed on the main elements necessary for a just and lasting peace and Ukraine’s sovereignty.
Let me highlight three of them.
First, borders cannot be changed by force.
Second, as a sovereign nation there cannot be limitations on Ukraine’s armed forces that would leave the country vulnerable to future attack and thereby also undermining European security.
Third, the centrality of the European Union in securing peace for Ukraine must be fully reflected.
Ukraine must have the freedom and sovereign right to choose its own destiny. They have chosen a European destiny.
Lord, even Russia has now rejected it! Alexei Zhuravlev, First Deputy Chairman of the State Duma Defense Committee described it as a “provocation” and contrary to Russian interests. “The conflict can only be fully resolved if we achieve a clear victory at the front and Ukraine capitulates ... Any other outcome will merely postpone the confrontation.”
Peacemaker President Trump, as is his way, spent the weekend bitching on his shitty website that Joe Biden was the real Ukraine invader, in between posting AI QAnon memes and screaming that Democrats are doing TREASON and SEDITION.
Don’t the Russians love their children too, wondered Sting? The answer is NO. Putin will send Russian boys to die in the meat grinder of his war down to the last, and North Korea’s boys too, why not? And America doesn’t do so great by its own kids either. Venezuela rumble in the jungle, anyone?
So, while Little Rubes is claiming progress, it sure looks like everything is pretty much the same as when Trump got elected, just with 10 extra months of added spectacle of Trump being Putin’s bitch. So much for peace in 48 hours! Russia has not been able to advance its front lines in the more than thousand days since it first invaded, Ukraine has not been able to get the Russians out, and nobody wants Ukraine bombing inside of Russia and triggering Putin to start a nuclear war. (Which is itself more of something Russia and its American mouthpieces want people to believe Russia will do, than it is something they’re really likely to do.)
So stalemate it is.
So earnest, that Sting.
[Reuters archive link / Moscow Times]
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Here is my counter-proposal: Russia keeps Moscow, Ukraine does whatever the fuck it wants regarding EU and NATO membership, and Putin spends the rest of his short life in the capital city of the South Holland province of the Netherlands. Oh, and Trump gets another impeachment and is finally convicted and removed.
It’s amazing. They called it a peace plan, but it reads like Putin mailed his Christmas list to Miami and Jared stapled his business card to it. At this point the only real negotiation happening is Russia asking “can we have Ukraine” and Trump saying “sure, but can my buddies get a cut of the merch.”