Tucker Carlson Wrong About Too Many Things To Not At Least Consider A Flat Earth
It was always going to come to this.
Some things are just inevitable. The tides will change, the sun will rise in the east and set it the west, water will find its own level, and George Santos will have his day on “Dancing With The Stars.” At least three out of four of those things are related to the Earth being round.
Then there are other things that, though somewhat surprising, once you hear them, you suddenly realize that everything was always headed towards that moment and could never be any other way (credit to Aristotle). Things like Tucker Carlson saying that he is “open” to the Earth being flat.
In a recent interview with The Blaze’s Alex Stein, Carlson said that he would be open to believing the Earth was flat, because of how he believes other things that are also very stupid and wrong.
STEIN: What do you think of flat Earth theory, Tucker?
CARLSON: Well, I'm open to anything, but I just know from shooting —
STEIN: Hey, that’s it. Cut the soundbite.
CARLSON: How could I not be open to anything at this point? I mean, there’s been so much deception that you can't trust your preconceptions. I’ll tell you this, the story we were told growing up in school about the progression of history, how it’s sort of an unending, like, ascent toward enlightenment and technological progress is linear, it moves in one direction — except during the dark ages — that’s a complete lie. I mean, there’s like overwhelming evidence that’s not true.
Well, of all people, he would know. Although I don’t know that anyone was ever actually taught that. I think we can probably assume that Carlson saw a timeline in a history book and drew his own conclusions.
CARLSON: So once you understand that the most basic stories we've been told about history, about the Earth, the physical Earth itself, which has been completely changed by climate change for millions of years, once you realize all of that, then it’s like, I don’t know, what is true? As for as the curvature of the Earth, that’s a thing in shooting. I like rifle shooting and past a certain distance you have to take that in account. That suggests it’s real. Because one thing I know is guns. Guns are real.
Guns are, in fact, real. We can give him that. But so is human-caused climate change. The Ice Age (which we also learned about in school) is not evidence that the things we do cannot affect the climate, as one does not negate the other. That’s like saying that because people get taller on their own, high heels do not exist and are not a faster and more efficient way of gaining some height than going through puberty.
I’d say “The other things I believe have led me to believe that the Earth could be flat” is as good a reason as any to start reevaluating pretty much everything one thinks, as clearly some mistakes were made.
PREVIOUSLY:
I believe Tucker Carlson's brain is completely smooth.
Even babbies know Earth is round as Dok reminded us with his newly recast Veterans Day reminder:
“Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”