Uh Oh! Is RFK Jr. Stealing Core Republican 'Conspiracy Theorists With Measles' Vote From Trump?
That's not what was supposed to happen!
Dontcha hate it when the spoiler spoils you?
Defendant Donald J. Trump sure does! When anti-vaxxer and and all-around crackpot Robert Fitzgerald Kennedy Junior got in the race last year, it was hailed as happy news in Trumpistan. Their new Jill Stein! Only a month ago, the big man was tappedy-tap-Truthing with glee about how RFK Jr. was going to take Biden votes:
But looks like he guessed wrong, that moody SOB. As it turns out, not only is RFK Jr. not the one in a courtroom with a fraudy indictment right now, new polls from NBC and Marist show RFK Jr. is raiding votes from Trump’s constituency of horse-dewormer aficionados instead. Who could’ve seen that coming?
What more, March FEC reports show Junior has been getting extra milkshake from Trump’s biggest donor Timothy Mellon, who’s given RFK’s PAC $20 million, but only $16.5 million to MAGA Inc. Probably he’s still pissed Melania ripped up his stepmother Bunny’s White House Rose Garden.
Most humiliating of all, RFK has been going around telling everyone “OMG thirsty Trump has been jocking me to be his running mate since January, and I shot him down like as if.” “I’m soooo liberal that his emissaries asked me to be his VP. I respectfully declined the offer,” Junior eye-rolled on Twadder.
So now Trump is super MAD MAD MAD, full Chewbacca glarble, pounding out the pull quote “I’d even take Biden over Junior” inside of a rant that is one fucking crazy run-on sentence epic of a screed, even for him. (Don’t read it, just appreciate the sheer volume.)
I actually watched, first time in a long time, ratings challenged Bill Maher’s really boring interview with RFK Jr. last night, only to find that Junior’ is far more LIBERAL than Maher and, in fact, far more LIBERAL than anyone running as a Democrat, including West and Stein. Yet despite this, he has no hope as a Democrat because they were able to use their typically Fascist tactics of repression and throw him out of the Party, like a dog, because he was taking primary votes away from the worst President in the history of our Country, Crooked Joe Biden. So now, Juniors’ a so-called Independent, but he’s not, he’s a Radical Left Lunatic, but trying to have it all ways. He said that “No Vaccine is safe and effective,” and then said “I would never say that, I’m not anti-vaccine!” Where did that come from? Maher defended the vaccine, which Junior’ actually seemed to agree with (WOW!), and then told him that his poll numbers have crashed. No Republican can vote for this guy. MAGA2024! RFK Jr. is a Democrat ‘Plant,’ a Radical Left Liberal who’s been put in place in order to help Crooked Joe Biden, the Worst President in the History of the United States, get Re-Elected. A Vote for Junior’ would essentially be a WASTED PROTEST VOTE, that could swing either way, but would only swing against the Democrats if Republicans knew the true story about him. Junior’ is totally Anti-Gun, an Extreme Environmentalist who makes the Green New Scammers look Conservative, a Big Time Taxer and Open Border Advocate, and Anti-Military/Vet…I lived with RFK Jr. in New York and watched him convince Governor Cuomo to make Environmental moves that were outright NASTY. Upstate New York was not allowed to drill or frack as Ohio, Pennsylvania, and others ripped off New York Energy. Because of this, prices have skyrocketed all over that part of the Country, but especially Upstate New York and New England. Their Energy Costs are the highest in the U.S., with the exception of California, run by Gavin Newscum, the Worst Governor in the State’s History. I’d even take Biden over Junior’, because our Country would last a year or two longer prior to collapse - But it would be dead either way. His Views on Vaccines are FAKE, as is everything else about his Candidacy. Let the Democrats have RFK Jr. They deserve him!
In response, RFK Jr. called Trump “unhinged” and challenged him to a debate, which would be as fun as a couple of raccoons with their tails tied together fighting over a chicken bone.
The RFK Jr. VP idea seems to have been the brainchild of old sloppy Steve Bannon, who was still pushing it on a phone call to human Photoshop pinch tool Charlie Kirk last week, and referring to himself in the third person: “If we put together a unity ticket of Trump and Kennedy it would be insurmountable, we would bring over many of the populists on the left, many of the people who don’t agree, Charlie, with Charlie Kirk, and Steve Bannon and Donald J. Trump, but that’s what a unity ticket is. And I think we could get two-thirds or 70 percent of voters.”
Sure, Steve.
But sweaty is right that the RFK Jr. spoiler effect is white-knucklingly real. Polls show Trump beating Biden in a two-way (pardon, vomiting into a bucket), but losing to him when third-party crackpots Junior, Cornel West and Jill Stein are thrown into the mix. RFK Jr. himself has polled recently as high as 16 percent, because seriously what the fuck is going on in this country?
Maybe QAnon was right, the ghost of JFK junior has returned to save democracy in a sitcom-style caper. Just a little simple possession, any ghost can do it with just one lesson! John John got bored haunting the dorms at Brown, saw his cousin’s yacht and sailed on down, possessed cousin Bobby and took his brain, now cousin’s got a lefty name and he sounds insane. Bobby and John are gonna take the votes of Don, and Bobby’s sending John unvaccinated blondes.
It’s the only thing that makes sense in this crazy world!
Or Junior might end up accepting Trump’s incredible offer of getting to smell Trump’s ass for four years and pledging to enable his final coup under threat of death. Sounds like a lot of sturm und drang for a man who could be podcasting and lounging around a multimillion-dollar Mandeville Canyon pile with Cheryl Hines instead. But with both of them as nutty as squirrel shit, who knows!
Always assume Republicans answering polls are fucking with us in order to make us assume we've got it in the bag. Make sure your voting plan is together for the fall, especially if you're in an area with a voter suppression regime.
After all, look at how these people have all kinds of extremely wealthy benefactors to throw money at spoilers, to do all kind of bizarre scorched-earth campaigns. Three Shirts Bannon is behind this guy. Look how it all interacts with the rightwing media human centipede.
Wouldn't it be hilarious if we made all these ratfuckers cry in their ill-gotten stacks of cash and delivered another victory for the Biden/Harris administration, who has been kicking ass for us?
Let's mount up folks!
[what the fuck is going on in this country?]
We've discovered that a third of people want an authoritarian ethno-state and another third would be perfectly fine with that as long as we never have to pay what the market price should be for gasoline.