Unconditional Surrender! Tabs, Fri., June 19, 2026
Happy Juneteenth, friends and lovers! Morning news roundup!
Hello friendlies of love! Wonkette is taking Juneteenth off because hell yeah we are. Enjoy some morning tabs, maybe something around noon, and then an early cocktail! Reduced posting this weekend as well! Your weekend movie? Never heard of it! But you can join your friend Ziggy Wiggy Saturday night at 9 p.m. Eastern for Grandma, free with ads on Tubi; $3.99 in the usual places.
Now here’s your damn tabs!
The unconditional surrender was ours — and this absolutely terrible deal is absolutely the best we’re going to get. Eat your shit sandwich, everybody! (Paul Waldman)
Don’t worry, there’s always time to make it worse! Iran could become Delaware.
We’re entering a 60-day negotiating period, which will probably end with Iran annexing Texas, being given the recipe to KFC chicken, and renaming the Grand Canyon “The Infidel’s Vagina”. In exchange, Iran will agree to only use their nuclear arsenal against states that didn’t vote for Trump.
Oh huh! Is this the first time we’ve seen Pete Hegseth under Trump’s Double Dutch bus?
All the other Shitpile of Failure (TM Tiedrich) we’ve underlooked (TM The Fucking News)
Twitter and Lara Logan, who used to be a journalist, know who put the algae in Trump’s immaculate reflecting ocean, it was Antifa and (Acting) Attorney General Todd Blanche is putting them all in JAIL!
Meanwhile, it seems the bros who wanted to gun down the UFC White House lawnfight — there seem to have been no concrete plans beyond just yapping — were rightwing militant accelerationists who want to kill him now, yikes! (Casey Steele Dale)
DC is getting a new Girl Mamdani to be its new prog-rock socialista mayorista! :D :D :D (Laura Bassett)
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Texas AG and Republican Senate nominee Ken Paxton is suing all the Democrats and Democratic fundraising platforms for fraud because he loves to lie and isn’t embarrassed when judges tear him a new asshole. (Our Liz at Public Notice)
From April, a deep dive on Joe Biden: Just How Good At The Economy Was He Goddammit We Boned Ourselves (But Not By Making Him Leave, He Was Going To Lose Even Worse). (The American Prospect)
I so can’t wait until my retirement funds (?) force me to invest in Elon Musk’s unprofitable pyramid scheme of a moneysuck! I guess Elon is still vowing that Grok is worth two-thirds of the US GDP, and we’re all going along with it! (Paul Krugman)
Two girlfriends and I sat at the same restaurant table and each summoned an Uber to go from that table to my house at the same time. Our prices were more than $20 apart for a 10ish minute ride. Consumer Reports has the Uber/Lyft wtf with these disparate pricings 411. (They’re also taking more and more of the drivers’ fees, and charging higher prices from nonwhite neigbhorhoods!) Let’s all move to Montreal and do walking and public transit instead. (CR)
Parties upcoming! DETROIT (June 27), MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!
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Happy Juneteenth and have a good weekend!
From my Congresswoman Shontel Brown:
"Last week the FBI conducted a massive raid targeting the Ohio Organizing Collective, an organization supporting voting rights and voter registration efforts in Northeast Ohio. According to multiple reports, hundreds of agents took part in the raid. Yet a week later, we still have heard very little from the FBI, despite the fact that this took place just months before a federal election.
On Wednesday, I wrote to the FBI demanding answers, because the people I represent deserve to know what legal authority the FBI had to do this, if this raid was covered by a warrant, and more. You can read the letter here. (I put the link below-zw)
The right to vote is sacred and what happened in Cleveland last week is deeply alarming. When federal agents undertake a statewide operation against an organization whose mission is helping eligible Americans register to vote, the public has every right to ask questions.
Any action that risks intimidating lawful voter registration efforts or discouraging participation in our democracy should concern every American, regardless of party.
My message to Ohioans is simple: it is safe to participate, register, vote and help your neighbors do the same. We will remain vigilant in defending the sacred right to vote and protecting the freedoms that generations fought to secure.
The FBI raid has also caused concern and confusion in our community, and it is important that people understand their constitutional rights are still in place."
https://shontelbrown.house.gov/sites/evo-subsites/shontelbrown.house.gov/files/evo-media-document/oh-dem-delegation-to-fbi-re-ohio-organizing-collaborative.pdf