Weather Is Woke Now, Better Build An Arky Arky!

DOGE cuts weather monitoring, FEMA may not exist for long, and storm season is here.

Is it bad to get washed away by a flood or crushed by a tree in a tornado? Are meteorologists all in a woke cabal? Certain people’s answers to that question may surprise you.

Or not, if you come here often!

This weekend tornadoes ravaged the land, killing at least 27 people in Missouri and Kentucky and two in Virginia, right after DOGE took a chainsaw to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) and its National Weather Service, and the literal day after Trump fired FEMA’s director, after that guy said FEMA was unprepared for storms. Trump had already previously frozen FEMA’s funds.

Unprepared for storm season, heck, FEMA itself doesn’t seem to know if it is even supposed to prepare or will exist next month! The administration has laid off hundreds of employees, and according to a PowerPoint slide from an internal review that CBS got a copy of, “As FEMA transforms to a smaller footprint, the intent for this hurricane season is not well understood, thus FEMA is not ready.”

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DOGE Sh*theads Fire Hundreds From NOAA, Weather Service, Because Weather Is Too Woke

Trump FEMA Administrator Is Polite To Democrats In Hearing, Immediately Fired

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And the National Weather Service has been gutted too. As of now, more than 550 of 4,800 weather service employees have been dismissed, retired or accepted incentive offers to quit, and the NWS is also under a hiring freeze. So now for the first time in decades, weather forecast services are so understaffed that some offices have had to stop staffing overnight shifts, including in most of Alaska, large parts of California, Texas, Louisiana, and in Kentucky, where those twisters landed this weekend. And the NWS has suspended some weather balloon launches.

But correlation is not causation, and those tornado deaths are in no way related to DOGE cuts, right-wing Xbots want everybody to know! Natural disasters are not caused by Joe Biden’s cloudbusting machine anymore, either, now they’re just a thing that happens and nobody can really prepare for them, so what good even is weather prediction? Some comments from X:

Tornado destruction and deaths have occurred forever and won't stop because some government bureaucrats want a 6 figure pension.

Why is it important to fund the NWS and NOAA even though those organizations can't prevent, as ridiculously suggested by the previous post, specific natural disasters from occurring?

Biden actually transferred money from NWS for Illegal Aliens.

Better to drown in a ditch than an immigrant get a government sandbag, or have FEMA steal your land for minerals, or whatever conspiracy theory it is now that the yeehaws think FEMA does.

Going after FEMA and the Weather Service and leaving states to fend to themselves in natural disasters is all part of the Project 2025 playbook, of course.

While selfishly YOU might want to be warned before your house gets washed away in a flood, or to seek shelter from a twister, that’s a sacrifice the Heritage Foundation/Trump administration is willing to make, if it rids society of the scourge of meteorologists. They may seem like a mild-mannered group to you, but Heritage is sure they are part of a “colossal operation,” the secret cabal of the “the climate change alarm industry” which is “harmful to future U.S. prosperity.”

Make building robot factories on flood plains great again!

And nobody should plan for the weather anyway, they think, because that’s conceited, almost like meddling in God’s own business. Says their Project 2025 manual, starting on page 674:

This industry’s mission emphasis on prediction and management seems designed around the fatal conceit of planning for the unplannable.

There was no weather service in Noah’s time! If the water rises, see you on the arky-arky!

And so to that end, the Project 2025 dumbshits, which also means the administration, hope to dismantle NOAA entirely, along with the National Ocean Service; Oceanic and Atmospheric Research; the National Environmental Satellite, Data and Information Service; the National Marine Fisheries Service; and the Office of Marine and Aviation Operations and NOAA Corps; and have states deal with all their own disaster relief. And they would like to privatize the National Weather Service too:

Focus the NWS on Commercial Operations. Each day, Americans rely on weather forecasts and warnings provided by local radio stations and colleges that are produced not by the NWS, but by private companies such as AccuWeather. Studies have found that the forecasts and warnings provided by the private companies are more reliable than those provided by the NWS.

All of the private companies get their forecasts from the NWS, stupid. AccuWeather’s entire value is around $900 million, it does not have $6.6 billion a year to invest in replacing the government’s weather stations and forecasting technology.

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Should We Talk About The Weather? Should We Talk About The Government?

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Immediately after the deaths were reported this weekend, though, it seemed DOGE might be having second thoughts about deleting the NWS. Now the agency is scrambling to transfer people to some of the understaffed locations, and offering to pay moving expenses for any staff willing to go and to vow that they will never try to correct whatever forecast Trump draws on a map with a Sharpie, or use the words climate change.

Otherwise, we will all have to rely on memorizing sailor rhymes about the weather. Ring around the moon, rain real soon! Seagull, seagull, get off the sand, it's never good weather when you're on land!

Red states, of course, get 15 percent more in FEMA funds. Just like they have more children on Medicaid. Maybe this hurricane season will be the one where red state voters look around what’s left of their roofless, uninsured houses and see no one from the federal government coming to help, and say to each other, hey, y’all, I’m starting to think maybe these Republicans are a bunch of grifters who are actively making everything worse!

LOL, JK!

Welp, best of luck to all of us!

[CNN / Washington Post archive link / CBS]

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