Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Sekanjabin!

A tart non-alcoholic cooler from the SCA.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. I’m getting ready for my Pennsic vacation. To help beat the heat, I’m assembling a cocktail syrup I first encountered in the SCA. This non-alcoholic drink has its origins in 10th-century Persia, and it’s still a drink of choice in modern-day Iran. This stuff is super tasty and may well last you all summer. Let’s make up some sekanjabin. Here’s the recipe:

Sekanjabin Syrup

4 cups water

4 cups honey

1 cup Alessi Raspberry Blush Vinegar 

1 large bunch of mint (at least 15-20 leaves)

Heat the water to a simmer. Add honey and vinegar and reduce heat to low. Simmer until the flavors combine, 20-30 minutes. Remove from heat. Submerge the mint in the hot syrup and let cool to room temperature. Remove and discard the mint. Chill in the refrigerator. 

To serve, add 2-3 oz of syrup and 2 oz water to a cocktail shaker and shake well. Pour into an iced highball glass and top with still water, sparkling water, or tonic water. Garnish with fresh fruit and serve. 

The SCA, or Society for Creative Anachronism, has been going strong for over 50 years. In 1966, a bunch of history buffs and science fiction authors got together for an outdoor party in Berkeley, CA. The invitation called for “all knights to defend in single combat the title of ‘fairest’ for their ladies.” Somehow, the party never quite ended. Next month, I’m getting together with roughly 12,000 people for two weeks of camping, fighting, and partying. It’s one heck of a good time. This gathering, called “Pennsic” (or “The Pennsic War”), celebrates its 50th anniversary this year. 

Sekanjabin has been drunk in the SCA for a long time. The early efforts at practical history by many SCAdians was … iffy. For a time, it was considered perfectly safe to wear a used freon can as a helmet. But the history behind sekanjabin is sound. It’s been documented back to medieval Persia, where it was regarded as a medicinal beverage. Today, it’s a refreshing summer treat. The tartness of the vinegar cuts through the sweet honey, and the mint is incredibly cooling. It’s one of my favorite ways to beat the heat.

I would be remiss not to mention that Pennsic also has alcoholic beverages in abundance. Most of these are of the “swamp juice, mix it straight in the cooler” variety. The ingredients generally make The Tipsy Bartender’s cocktails look like genteel, refined libations. For many years, a cheerful barbarian by the name of OG wrote a column for the onsite Pennsic newspaper. His advice for drinking at Pennsic was one for the ages, and included such gems as:

If it’s called Strawberry Surprise, DO NOT DRINK. (Surprise! No strawberries!)
If it glows in the dark, DO NOT DRINK. 

If it is on fire, DO NOT DRINK. 

If it tries to communicate, DO NOT DRINK.

With that helpful guidance in mind, let’s talk ingredients:

Water and honey: We’re making a very, very large quantity of honey syrup here. I’ve used this ingredient in other cocktails, one ounce at a time. For this recipe, the syrup is essentially the drink base, instead of a sweetener.

Alessi Raspberry Blush Vinegar: If you can’t find this on the shelf, use a white balsamic vinegar. If you can’t find that, use white wine vinegar. The quality of your vinegar directly impacts the end product. Don’t use generic grocery store vinegar.

If you really want to have a good time, make your own fruit vinegar. Steeping your favorite herbs and fruits in top-notch vinegar makes for amazing salad dressings and, in this format, top-notch cocktails. Your own imagination is the limit; I suggest summer fruit, berries, and herbs like basil and mint that will be fondly missed by summer's end. Cover the fruit and herbs with vinegar and let steep in an airtight jar for at least 2-3 days. The longer, the better. I just checked on a sage and agave vinegar I made before COVID and stored in a dark, cool place. It’s still good.

Mint: The more you use, the better. If a mint plant is taking over your backyard, here’s your chance for revenge. Other herbs are fine; basil comes immediately to mind. Sage also works if you want to veer into autumnal flavors. Rosemary is probably too woody to work well; odds are good you’ll end up making non-alcoholic gin by mistake.

Garnishes: Fruit and berries work great here. Cucumber is a particularly Persian touch, and provides extra cooling and refreshment. If it’s been that kind of a week, “garnish” your cocktail with vodka, gin, or sherry. This syrup is meant to be used all summer long as you see fit. Make this drink your own.

I’ll sign off with the legendary words of OG, who passed away many years ago: “Drink Well, Drink Often, Drink with OG!” And tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette with the button below! Seriously, my boss is awesome, if you like reading my recipes please chip in! And if you'd like to buy some bar gear or books from Amazon, please click here!

You can find me on Threads and Insta at samurai_grog!

OPEN THREAD!