Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Hooper's Dark and Stormy!

A personal take on my favorite for Father's Day.

Drink up, me hearties, yo ho, yo ho.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender, and it’s Father’s Day weekend! I was planning to post a light, fruity martini cocktail at first, but instead I’m going to celebrate by sharing one of my own favorite drinks. Spoiler alert: It’s got rum in it. But let’s go for something spicy instead of the standard tiki fare. Time to make my own version of a Dark and Stormy. Here’s the recipe: 

Hooper’s Dark and Stormy

2 oz Gosling’s Black Seal Rum

4 oz Gosling’s Ginger Beer

1 dropperful Hooper’s Tiki Bitters

½ oz fresh lime juice

Pour the lime juice and ginger beer into an old fashioned glass. Slowly pour the rum into the glass, letting the rum float on top of the soda. Add bitters. Garnish with a lime wheel. Stir before drinking. 

If rum isn’t your Dad’s thing this Father’s Day, I’ve provided more than a few “Dad drinks” over the years. If you don’t know which beer to buy your Dad, I’ve provided this handy guide. If he’s more of a beer-and-a-shot guy, you might give the Spaghett a try. (No, that’s not a typo.) Whiskey fan? Maple Rye Old Fashioned. Ultimately, the best Dad drink is the drink your Dad likes to drink. 

When it comes to the Dark and Stormy, I am legally obligated to tell you that you must only use Gosling’s Black Seal Rum. In 1991, Gosling’s registered the trademark for the recipe. By law, any drink named a “Dark and Stormy” must include Gosling’s rum. Sorry, those are the rules. Of course, if you made a similar drink at home using a different rum and called it a “Dark and Stormy,” no one will stop you. Jack-booted thugs wearing Bermuda shorts aren’t patrolling your neighborhood sniffing out offending rumjacks. But as your bartender, I do need to be a touch careful. 

It’s hardly the most onerous rule a liquor company imposed on the industry. (Don’t get me wound up over the Painkiller.) Gosling’s is one of my favorite rums. Most people assume that the black color comes from undistilled molasses straight from the still, but every drop of sugar in the pot gets turned into tasty rum. Gosling’s adds molasses after distillation and ages the rum in charred oak barrels to add flavor and color. Dark rums like this always look rustic and have a lot of character. They balance out very nicely against spicy ginger beer. With the lime juice to sharpen things up, you’ve got a classic one-and-one cocktail built on the same model as a gin and tonic or rum and coke. 

The “tiki bitters” are a pet project I talked about a few months ago that’s finally come to fruition. I made some bitters from scratch back in March. They only took a few weeks to be technically complete, but I don’t think they hit their stride until now. The bitters smell heavily of clove, but get more complex in a cocktail. Any rum you choose becomes spiced rum with a few dashes of this elixir. If you didn’t follow along at home and make bitters with me last time, give it a go. You’ll love it. 

Let’s talk ingredients:

Ingredient shot. I did a lot of quality testing. I am the reason the rum is gone.

Gosling’s Black Seal Rum: As I’ve made clear, this drink may not be called a Dark and Stormy without using Gosling’s Black Seal rum. I would never dream of suggesting a rum like Cruzan Black Strap Rum, a favorite of one of my fellow pirates. Using a great blended rum like Planteray Special Dark would also be completely out of the question. Definitely do not explore, and by no means use your own favorite rum here. (Just promise me you won’t use Kraken. That stuff is nasty.)

Gosling’s Ginger Beer: Gosling’s isn’t as strict with the brand of ginger beer to use in your Dark and Stormy. That being said, I really like their house ginger beer. It matches with their rum wonderfully, and isn’t so spicy that it’s challenging to drink. If you’d like to explore, I’d recommend Reed’s Ginger Beer. It comes in a variety of strengths and spice levels, and carries a distinctive Jamaican funk that would pair great with a rum like Appleton Estate. Don’t use ginger ale in this drink; it’s far too weak to stand up to the rum. 

Hooper’s Tiki Bitters: Assuming you don’t have a vial of this concoction on hand (and don’t want to wait three weeks for a batch to finish), I’d suggest using a shake or two of Angostura bitters. I’d also recommend Bittermen’s Elemakule Tiki Bitters; I’ve used them professionally before and enjoy them immensely. 

Lime Juice: Use fresh. Don’t shortchange your Dad. 

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!  

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