Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Pimm's Cup!

Something highbrow, to celebrate the arrest of the lowest brow ever.

The heat definitely wilted the garnishes a bit. Oh well, still tasty.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. All right, you talked me into it. For a while now, I’ve been fielding requests for one particular iconic summer cocktail. I held out for a few reasons. The drink in question uses a fairly specific bottle, and it’s garnished like a mellowed-out Bloody Mary. But eventually I gave in. I’m glad I did. Let’s go ahead and enjoy a Pimm’s Cup together. Here’s the recipe: 

Pimm’s Cup

2 oz Pimm’s #1

½ oz fresh lemon juice

2-3 slices English cucumber

Lorina sparkling lemonade

1 slice of English cucumber cut lengthwise

1 lemon wheel

1 orange wheel

1 strawberry

Sprig of mint

Add Pimm’s #1, lemon juice, and cucumber slices to a shaker. Muddle the cucumber slices gently. Tilt a highball glass toward you at a 45 degree angle and gently place the long cucumber slice against the inside wall of the glass. Add ice to the highball and the shaker. Shake and strain the cocktail into the highball. Top with sparkling lemonade. Garnish with fruit and mint. A straw is strongly recommended. 

My biggest worry about the Pimm’s Cup was what do do with my Pimm’s #1 after the cocktail was made. I’ve got several weird liqueurs and cordials lurking in my liquor cabinet. The cocoa-infused Campari and off-brand Fernet are pretty tasty, but I’m hard pressed to find a good use for them in new drinks. I didn’t want to abandon another bottle in liquor Purgatory next to the blue curacao.

It turns out that my fears were unfounded. Pimm’s #1 is a gin-based spirit that’s very mild, with nice floral and citrus notes that are noticeable, but not overwhelming. A loud liqueur like Campari can be a trick to work around. If you screw up the balance on a Negroni or a Jungle Bird, you’ll pay for it. Pimm’s #1 is a lot more mellow; it will back up any plans you have involving citrus or cucumber without a fuss. It’s also an easy sipper, at just 50 ABV. Some of the bartenders I got advice from suggested looking at it as vermouth, rather than a liqueur. I like that idea a great deal. If you look at it from that angle, the Pimm’s Cup resembles an Americano with fruit salad on top. I'm already planning a “dirty martini” using gin, Pimm’s, dry vermouth, and lemon twists. 

The Pimm’s Cup has a reputation as the libation of aristocrats. It’s the official cocktail for Wimbledon, the Henley Royal Regatta, the Chelsea Flower Show, the Royal Ascot, and probably even more British summer pastimes. It’s also got a following in New Orleans among the rarefied set. As a hot weather drink, it’s delightfully refreshing … and the fruit salad on top isn’t explicitly necessary. Give this a try before cool weather sets in. It’s worth the effort. 

Let’s talk ingredients:

The Pimm’s Cup elegantly disappeared shortly after this photo was taken.

Pimm’s #1: For the record, there are six Pimm’s in total, each with a different spirit base: Pimm’s #1 uses gin;  #2 features Scotch whiskey; #3, brandy; #4, rum; #5, rye whiskey; and #6, vodka. Some bartenders will offer unofficial Pimm’s with numbers 7 and over, with spirits like tequila, bourbon, or absinthe. If you can’t locate any Pimm’s #1 in your neck of the woods, I’d suggest a split base of London dry gin and sweet vermouth. It won’t taste anything like a real Pimm’s Cup, but it will be very tasty. 

Lemon Juice: Always use fresh juice. Plastic fruit gives you plastic juice. 

Lorina Sparkling Lemonade: Pimm’s is explicitly designed to go with lemonade, and in England lemonade is fizzy and a touch dry. Do not use Country Time lemonade here. I will cry. Lemon flavored seltzer will do in a pinch. San Pellegrino would be perfect. I’ve seen some recipes using ginger ale, but it doesn’t seem to harmonize with the Pimm’s #1. 

English Cucumber Slices: Muddle the cucumber slices gently; you want to break them up, but you don’t want to make a pulp. The ice in the shaker will do some of the muddling work for you. And yes, it must be an English cucumber.

Garnishes: For maximum style points, slice the cucumber lengthwise, then use a vegetable peeler to cut one long strip of cucumber. The wet slice should stick to the inside of the glass nicely. Cut the rest of the garnishes as you see fit. A straw is mandatory. Once you’ve served the drink it’s perfectly acceptable to toss all the garnishes into the glass. No reason to waste all that pretty mint and fruit.

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