2621 Comments
User's avatar
Doktor Zoom's avatar

Oopsies, Robyn's post for National Sea Monkeys Day missed its scheduled slot but we do have a new post up, and you'll get your usual Saturday Robyn firstpost in a bit, it'll just be last. And I have a thing for in-between, too. (it's a freeze-dried news story, just add distilled water)

Here's Gary: https://www.wonkette.com/p/oligarch-owned-media-continues-its

EyeQueue's avatar

Sea Monkeys were one of the biggest disappointments of my childhood. My dad tried to tell me, who was also disappointed in *his* childhood by Sea Monkeys. XD XD XD XD

Doktor Zoom's avatar

It is a disappointment tradition for many families! A wrong of passing.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Better today. Working, questions here.

NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

My wife swears by Smokey Earl Gray, which we have in-hand. Maybe I’ll give it a shot with that.

paxpax's avatar

My ETOH days are long gone - Sincerely appreciate the NA cocktail - I am going to try this

Zyxomma's avatar

So glad you're on the mend.

ViaggiPazzi's avatar

Shake with ice and strain into gimlet, or serve a la bourbon over a large cube in old fashioned glass?

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Gimlet. The drink shouldn’t dilute further after service.

ludus's avatar

Glad you're feeling better. We will miss you at Hula's tonight.

Cajun Kid's avatar

Get better Hooper!

"M"'s avatar

So glad you're feeling better 😊

Susanneh's avatar

This looks amazing!

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Glad to see you’re feeling better. Being sick is the pits.

coco underbabied's avatar

No questions, but want to say that as someone who can't metabolize alcohol well at all, I really appreciate this one. And it sounds yummers!

satch's avatar

I'm one of those who don't handle alcohol well. Always looking for NA alternatives. Thanks, Hooper.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

If I tipped you $20, would you play Kid Rock?

Uncle Betamax's avatar

You hum it and I'll smash your teeth in.

Goin Green's avatar

"No, but I have plenty 'Fuggoff And I' on my Playlist..."

Craig Nixon's avatar

I'll do it. Just lemme get my jorts on.

OK...bad idea.

Nevermind.

Dirty Work's avatar

NA cocktail. That's why we have church camp.

Elderly John's avatar

Some medications are affected by ETOH. Some bodies no longer metabolize ETOH the way they used to. There is nothing particularly moralistic about a NA drink.

Goin Green's avatar

It's a great idea to offer something for those who can't and those who can't anymore... Most relapses aren't totally about the alcohol, they are also about being forced to avoid socializing altogether. Someone like Hoop can literally be a bridge to a tomorrow.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Try this one. You’ll be surprised.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Is that would the kids are calling sex education now?

pskbh's avatar

You had me at lapsang souchan. My all time favorite tea. Take good care of yourself, please.

"M"'s avatar

That's a nice brand, too

My mom likes their English breakfast and made me get her some after we found out that was what they were serving at a hotel where we stayed for an extended family holiday

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Brown Derby sounds like a prolonged bout of intestinal distress.

Just saying, it's a marketing snafu.

Hirightnow's avatar

Billy Rubin and the Dead Blood Cells sounds like an awesome band name.

Sk8erChoi's avatar

When do they release their next albumin?

tehbaddr's avatar

I saw something might be more heinous than Alexi Vodka, Burnett's!

Would it work well in this concoction?

VwllssWndr's avatar

I use Burnett's vanilla in baking instead of vanilla extract. Works great.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

I see your Burnett’s and raise you one Fleischman’s. When your vodka is made by a yeast company…

tehbaddr's avatar

I have never seen that! I'm certain Sam is discerning consumer!

memzilla's avatar

Get well soon, ya lovable gormy bastert!

Daniel's avatar

https://bsky.app/profile/eddieburfi.bsky.social/post/3mly4l4cjkc2w

Van with a video parked in a racist parade in London, celebrating immigration and pissing off the fascists.

clairence's avatar

Obviously, the parade and the truck were legit. That particular incident, though, felt contrived.

Videos like that enable the racists to keep their adrenaline up for the long march.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

Dua Lipa and George Michael are a pretty good argument in favor of immigration.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Oooh, the apes are angry!

EyeQueue's avatar

LOL! Love it!

Menotsure's avatar

Here's a story about aircraft losses in the Iran war.

https://www.businessinsider.com/42-types-of-aircraft-us-military-lost-iran-war-2026-5

The use of the term "42 types" is misleading. It's 42 individual aircraft not types.

schmannity's avatar

This $1.7 billion slush fund is just what our great farmers need!

freakishlystrong's avatar

"Have fun storming the Capitol!'

Mysterysurf's avatar

The Mets' season goes from bad to worse as pitcher suffers broken leg on comebacker hit at 111 mph.

https://www.mlb.com/news/clay-holmes-suffers-fractured-leg-on-comebacker

Demme Epstein Fatale's avatar

So sad!

(Jones only found out about this when he was asked about it.)

Snarfyguy's avatar

When they constructed their new stadium, did they possibly put it up on an acient Indian burial ground, and then only moved the headstones, not the remains?

That might explain a thing or two.

Snarfyguy's avatar

Last night I dreamt there were all these ambulatory, sentient rocks all over the place, bouncing and rolling around to get where they were going.

Of course, since they couldn't see, they were constantly bumping into one another and into whatever obstacles were on the ground.

It was very cute!

Alpaca22's avatar

This was posted on a local FB page and is fucking brilliant

Wenatchee Valley Community, Crime, Rants and Raves

FascinatingHamster9541

🙏💪 MIGHTY MAN FRIDAY 💪🙏

Brothers, I want to talk to you about something very important.

How many pull-ups can YOU do for Jesus?

Because let me tell you — there is nothing more holy than a room full of glistening, shirtless men locked in intense eye contact, grunting through their 47th rep together while praise music plays at full volume.

Is it gay? Brothers, I have consulted the elders.

It’s not gay if…

✅ You’re doing it for the Lord

✅ You spot each other with both hands and a full heart

✅ The small of your back is covered by the Holy Spirit

✅ You’re crying, but it’s worship crying

✅ He’s your accountability partner AND your gym partner

✅ Pastor said it’s fine

✅ You make strong eye contact but you’re thinking about Deuteronomy

Remember men: Iron sharpens iron. And iron also gets very sweaty next to other iron in a poorly ventilated church gymnasium.

Sign up for the Mighty Man Weekend Retreat. Bunks are twin-sized but the love is KING.

Childcare not provided. Wives welcome to drop off.

🔥 GRACE CITY STRONG 🔥

Tag your accountability brother. You know who he is. He already knows. 😂

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

That is the gayest thing I've ever seen and I've been in an all dude three-way. Please tell me it's tongue in cheek.

Alpaca22's avatar

it is. It is a parody of the local Strongerman Freedom Con being held by the White Christian nationalist church.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

Oh good. It's so hard to tell anymore.

Marlon Again's avatar

Things would be so much simpler if they just came out. Instead they fuck each other and cry about it when they get caught.

Alpaca22's avatar

It is a parody of the local Strongerman Freedom Con being held by the White Christian nationalist church.

Marlon Again's avatar

Parody in a sense, but the truth in any case.

Daniel's avatar

Ah!

NON-ALCOHOLIC!

I've been trying for ages to work out what NA meant. I assumed it was a state abbreviation and I had no idea why there was a certain state-associated type of cocktails.

freakishlystrong's avatar

There could also be a "KP" level. That's so lit it requires a battering ram to rouse you.

Daniel's avatar

I suppose if you have a very severe peanut allergy.

Marlon Again's avatar

SEE ALSO: "not applicable", "Narcotics Anonymous."

Raccoon of Vengeance's avatar

Also shorthand for Native American.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Weather forecast sez nice and cool 93 degrees today. :D

Marlon Again's avatar

In the 80's here and no sign of a breeze. Oh how I wish it would rain.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

We're having a wind warning, which is normal here. No rain either, which is also normal this time of year. Hoping for the monsoons to bring some in a few weeks.

Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

Monsoon was my least favorite time of year out in the desert. I can't stand humidity.

Snarfyguy's avatar

Song of the day.

This is where I post whatever song was running through my head when I woke up.

Today it's The Grateful Dead's "Box of Rain," for some reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r8aycpHmY0

Babe Paley's avatar

I still have the White Stripes doing “Seven Nation Army” ever since the idiot in chief thought cis gender was “six gender “.

I know 7 isn’t 6, but it’s been in my head ever since.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Assuming that he thinks is a little bit of a stretch.

EyeQueue's avatar

6-7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daniel's avatar

I fucking hate how children have scarred my psyche about those two numbers.

Snarfyguy's avatar

There's a good South Park ep. about it.

freakishlystrong's avatar

Hey kids! I have a great idea! We should start a petition to bill those smug, groveling billionaires for their trip to China to fatten their pockets, on our dime. Let's charge em' AF1 rates, since we own that bitch. Why should we fly them to China to advance their businesses? They didn't go in the interest of the average American, it won't produce dick here for the rest of us. They should pony up their own fucking money for that.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Eliminating tax loopholes and raising rich motherfucker taxes would be a decent start.

Snarfyguy's avatar

I think most of them arranged for their own transport with only one or two actually on AF-1.

EyeQueue's avatar

The Musk Rat was on AF-1, from what my mom said. She may be wrong.

Snarfyguy's avatar

Yeah, I think he flew with Trump.

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Lettuce hope there is now a buggar on every armrest . . .

EyeQueue's avatar

So we paid for that little SHITTER he carries around with him everywhere like a bullet shield.

I'm fed up with it.

Fuck him and fuck his shitter.

freakishlystrong's avatar

So what? Bill them for being assholes.

ciaobella's avatar

Whar Robyn Caturday morning post?

I guess the boss is away. :)

ziggywiggy's avatar

There has been a scheduling issue, the proper authorities have been notified!

ciaobella's avatar

This is Commie Girl Industries, there’s probably a Central Standing Committee of the Caturday Politburo or something.

President Rufus T. Superfly's avatar

Have the Workers and Commenters Soviets been notified?

Marlon Again's avatar

Go tell the Director, Miss Gradenko.

TerseNurse's avatar

completely normal and nothing to be concerned about

Mysterysurf's avatar

Our authorities are many things, but never are they proper!

Parakeetist's avatar

Birb always stands with labor.

The Long Island Rail Road's workers are on strike.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/may/16/new-york-long-island-rail-road-strike

JustPixelz's avatar

In this case you'll be standing on the platform.

Parakeetist's avatar

Yees, of course :) :)

Shocktreatment's avatar

Soooo, six days ago, by pre-arrangement, a Google Book arrived... I was supposed to use it and provide a bit of feedback...

I just dropped it off for return. Even if a body really really loves the gooog's a1 influenced search, and just lurvs Gemini interfering with you, I don't believe that body will enjoy this pile of drek and feces.

Android apps and Gemini a1, not "anticipating and foreseeing" just frustrating and infuriating..

Being evil, everywhere...

Snarfyguy's avatar

The jig was up when they retired their motto "don't be evil."