Well Sheeeit Y'all, House Oversight Committee Got In A Actual Jasmine Crockett-And-AOC-On-Marjorie Taylor Greene Catfight!
Alliterative insults overshadow dignified House investigation into Hunter Biden's dong.
The ordinarily ceremonious proceedings of the House Oversight Committee’s investigation into Hunter Biden’s coked-up hog devolved into a Dothraki wedding Thursday, when Rep. Jasmine Crockett, Democrat of the 30th District of Texas and valedictorian of the Kendrick Lamar School of Verbal Beatdowns, gave Marjorie Taylor Greene some of that attention she’s always nonstop gagging for.
The Committee’s meeting had already been rescheduled from normal morning work hours to 8 p.m. so that members Beetlejuice, Michael Cloud, Andy Biggs, and Anna Paulina Luna could go violate the Defendant’s gag order for him and attack Justice Juan Merchan’s daughter, fucking rude.
Then once it convened, Marge T. Greene, never one to let anyone else steal the spotlight or out-nasty her, was back on her dumb shit again. The Republicans, masters of irony, were there to hold Merrick Garland in contempt for not giving them executive-privileged recordings.
You just have to watch.
GREENE: I’d like to know if any of the Democrats on this committee are employing Judge Merchan’s daughter.
CROCKETT: Please tell me what that has to do with Merrick Garland.
GREENE: Oh, Goldman. That’s right. He’s advising. Okay.
CROCKETT: He’s advising what, who? Do you know what we’re here for? Do you know we’re here–
GREENE: I think your fake eyelashes are messing up what you’re reading.
Marge reached a claw up to her eye to pantomime large eyelashes. “That’s beneath even you,” huffed babysitter Jamie Raskin.
CHAIRMAN JAMES COMER: Hold on! Hold on! Order.
COMER: We have a point of order. Mr. Lynch, state your point.
STEPHEN LYNCH: Mr. Chairman, I would just like to ask the parliamentarian if your conduct here in raising money in connection with this hearing is referable to the Ethics Committee within this hearing. There’s a motion in order to refer your conduct and your abuse —
COMER: That’s not a point of order.
ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ: I do have a point of order. And I would like to move to take down Miss Greene’s words. That is absolutely unacceptable! How dare you attack the physical appearance of another person!
GREENE: Are your feelings hurt?
OCASIO-CORTEZ: Move her words down!
GREENE: Aww.
OCASIO-CORTEZ: Oh! Girl, baby, girl!
GREENE: Oh, really?
OCASIO-CORTEZ: Don’t even play!
GREENE: Baby, girl? I don’t think so.
OCASIO-CORTEZ: We are gonna move and we are gonna take your words down.
Crockett jumped in, “I’m just curious, just to better understand your ruling, if someone on this committee then starts talking about somebody’s bleach-blonde, bad-built, butch body, that would not be engaging in personalities, correct?”
“Er, uh, a hwut now?” drawled Comer, who is a mostly deaf pile of potato peels. Raskin chortled into his hand, cross-shouting ensued, and Anna Paulina Luna started in on a condescending “calm down, you’re out of control!”
“If I come and talk shit about her,” yelled Crockett, “y’all are going to have a problem!”
Correct! Double standards are the only kind of standards Republicans have!
And indeed we shouldn’t be talking about anybody’s ping-pong-paddle body, or used-catcher’s-mitt face, or how weird it is that all Republican men except George Santos have no lips and just wet little holes where their lips ought to be. We should all be better than that!
We should focus on how Jasmine Crockett is a treasure! Don’t miss her grilling Project 2025 contributing author Gene Hamilton on the part of his fascist tome he wrote where he says that when Trump becomes president they’re going to eliminate the Department of Education, deploy the military to shoot protestors, and replace federal employees with “loyalists.” The dystopian insanity that is Project 2025 really cannot be brought up often enough.
And then there’s her THESE ARE OUR NATIONAL SECRETS IN THE SHITTER!
Just because Judge Aileen Cannon sent the documents case on an ice floe to Siberia does not mean that we should EVER forget that OUR NATIONAL SECRETS WERE IN THE SHITTER!
Anyway, after four hours of bullshit, the Committee voted to hold Merrick Garland in contempt of their clown circus anyway.
Crockett re-mixed the audio into a mashup with Megan Thee Stallion’s body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody for her social media and sent out a fundraising email, “I don't let people like MAGA Marge get under my skin. But it'd help to know you have my back!”
So MTG wanted to talk about my appearance in COMMITTEE?!
It’s against the rules to do…
She refused to apologize!
And the chairman ruled that it was ok…
AND I asked for qualification about what qualifies as “engaging in personalities” & basically wanted to know if I could talk shit about her appearance as…well… y’all know what she looks like, right?
PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES!
This is what happens when mentally deficient people who can’t read and follow rules or just don’t give a damn… somehow end up in CONGRESS!"
Conservative Twitter got all OMG JASMINE IS SO TACKY, unprintable unprintable, and the guy Marge is currently fucking posted about how “she’s beautiful, intelligent, and has more class than you’ll ever have,” tagged to Jasmine and AOC. Yep, that one’s just a Georgia peach!
STAY BE BEST, Y’ALL!
Go, Crockett, go.
[STAY BE BEST, Y’ALL!]
No.
Greene is ugly.
And it's not her appearance that makes her so, though, I'm sure someone nastier can express every one of her physical imperfections against a standard of beauty.
No, I've known people who were not blessed with model looks who are utterly beautiful. I've known physically beautiful people who were repulsively ugly.
She is ugly because her soul is a rotting, festering, fetid, malodorous, noisome, putrid, and rank pile of shit, oozing with noxious, toxic fluid, bubbling with a grotesque bloody bile that stains the land wherever she walks and sickens anyone nearby. A sucking reeking swamp that grasps and drowns any good thing in it's bottomless pool of soggy excrement.