No Hunter Biden Peener Hearings This Morning, Republicans Gotta Go See Trump's Peener In New York

Doing the work of the people.

May 16, 2024

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If you were worried whether House Republicans could possibly humiliate themselves any further this week after all showing up at Donald Trump’s criminal trial in New York wearing matchy-matchy red ties so they look just like Daddy, worry no further. James Comer’s House Pigfuck-We-Mean-Oversight Committee rescheduled its hearing this morning, where it was going to be holding Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt, and moved it to tonight.

Why? So more Republicans can go to New York wearing matchy-matchy red ties like Daddy, and so that they may be available for the ceremonial licking of his royal grundle.

Yes, really.

The panel was set to meet early Thursday, an hour after a twin resolution censuring Garland would likewise be considered by the House Judiciary Committee. Instead, it will now meet at 8 p.m. so that numerous Republicans who sit on the panel — including Freedom Caucus members — could attend the trial.

The Hill has a source who confirmed that was the reason, though the Oversight Committee’s official spox bullshitted about it, saying, “Due to member schedule conflicts, the markup is now starting at a different time to accommodate members’ schedules.” It’s not exactly a lie, as there is space inside that statement for “Bunch of our pigfucks had to hop the Acela train for their fluffer shifts at Trump’s trial in Lower Manhattan.” Those are “member schedule conflicts,” technically.

As The Hill explains, they’re holding Garland in contempt for refusing to GIVE IT! the recordings of Joe Biden’s interviews with thirsty-ass partisan hack special counsel Robert Hur, even though Congress already has all the transcripts. (President Joe Biden asserted executive privilege over those recordings this morning, upon Garland’s recommendation.)

You’ve have to be an inbred cow to actually believe holding Garland in contempt over Robert Hur’s Biden recordings is doing “the work of the people,” but all the same, how do inbred cows feel about Kentucky Fried James Comer’s committee literally rescheduling hearings so they can go waddle around in front of the courthouse in New York, begging Daddy to notice them and maybe pick one of them for his running mate?

House Democrats are mercilessly pointing and LOL-ing at their Republican counterparts, as they should.

There’s Rep. Don Beyer:

He tweeted:

House Republicans delay their “urgent” hearing to hold the Attorney General in contempt over information they already received so they can attend Donald Trump’s criminal trial, attack our criminal justice system and the rule of law, and earn brownie points with their Dear Leader.

The House Oversight Democrats simply tweeted, “I guess we all know who is setting the Committee's calendar now.”

We would say there’s something rich about House Republicans rescheduling holding someone else in contempt when they’re literally in New York trying to obstruct justice in the criminal trial of Donald Trump, on charges nobody is even pretending he’s not guilty of.

But these people don’t have principles beyond “Do whatever Daddy and his little Mario Kart wing-wang tell us to do,” so fuck it.

Let’s see who’s showing up in New York today:

It’s funny because “stand back and stand by” was Trump’s thinly veiled terror cell leader message to the Proud Boys during that one debate. We get it, Matt Gaetz!

Let’s see who else hahahahahahahaha can’t stop laughing already: