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author

Here is your hed gif source: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/zardoz-is-a-weird-messy-freakin-movie

I've included a link to an article about why Connery HATED one particular part of it (it's not why you might think). That's me, bringing the factoids.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

Tabs have arrived. Meditate on this at second level.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

I thought that was zardoz........what a crazy flick!

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author

Before anyone asks, no.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

I caught Zardoz on TV when I was a wee lad. I never recovered from the trauma.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

I was born in 1968. My parents took me to it when it was first released. I think that I might have been a bit young for it. Fortunately, the only thing I really remember from it is the ending. It may have actually been the first movie I ever saw, followed later that year or the next, by "Young Frankenstein." Now *that* one I remember, and not just because the fucking projectionist decided to "cancel culture" the movie when they realized there was [GASP!] S-E-X in it. Oh, sorry, S-*-X. Fucker turned off the projector, ignored the collective complaints and yells, and the Arcata Theater had to refund all of our tickets.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

True fact: the best part of the only science fiction convention I ever attended was the showing of "Zardoz." That was Stellarcon VII back in 1990 at UNCG.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

Fun fact: the puzzling and irascible Sufi Shams-i Tabrizi, an early preceptor of and chalant inspiration to the Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi -- and who was in one narrative respecting his death murdered for obnoxiousness -- adopted or had settled on him the nom de guerre "zardoz", which per Idries Shah is a Persian word meaning "embroiderer in gold". There's more to that movie, by accident or otherwise, than immediately presents itself to the viewer, IMO.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

"the gun is good! the penis is evil!" might as well be the motto for the Talibangelicals.

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Zardoz? I thought this was cut from Blazing Saddles as too offensive even for that (this being the Kansas City dancing scene to which Slim Pickens alluded).

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

"A life without factoids is a life..." something!

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

I usually love bad sci fi movies but Zardoz was hard to watch. The floating head was cool.

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I had a dirty uncle who brought me to see it in the theater when I was 8...he was the good kind of dirty, not the 'touches kids' type, just rather libertine and swinging...I remember being impressed by 2 things...the floating head, and the tits...It was YEARS later that I realized Sean Connery was the star (I didn't know who he was when I was 8)

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Charlotte Rampling is an International Treasure.

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Lol, I have a cool uncle like this too. Like, kind of a weirdo, but in an awesome way.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

I thought that was Zardoz right away, but it's been decades, and I thought I remembered a lot more nudity!

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Omg, the wardrobe of that whole movie. Holy shit.

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Maybe you're thinking of Doris Wishman's "Nude on the Moon"?

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back then, a little went a long way

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author

I managed to find the one of the few scenes that has enough clothing that it can be used on Substack without incurring a porn ban.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

You need to try that with Peter Greenaway's Prospero's Books sometime. It is the nakedest movie by a HUGE margin I've ever seen.

A loud, raucous homage to The Tempest, John Gielgud, modern dance, calligraphy, naked people of every age and shape, and above all- Books.

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Yep- that's a fantastic and amazing film I wish I could see in IMAX.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

I thought Zardoz was one of the prescription drugs for an embarrassing condition, with a happy jingle that they advertise on TV.

🎶 I'm waking up to a brighter sky

Zardoz softens my stool and

Makes my day fly by 🎶

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Oh, that made me laugh! Good one, hon.

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'Ask your...'

Maybe not.

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I remember watching the film in a theater when it came out and thinking WTF? I was 18 when it was released.

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Ditto, except I left thinking how much I loved it. I still love it. A couple of decades ago, I introduced it to Mrs Gassy, and that's when I found out how much of an outlier I am.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

I’ve seen stills from that movie, and I always meant to try to track down why Sean Connery was dressed that way and what the hell was going on. So you have solved one of life’s deepest mysteries for me and I thank you.

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author

There's a whole thing I read about how Christine Boorman, the first wife of director John Boorman (of "Deliverance" fame) was given costuming duties and she chose that look as something as masculine and I dunno, easy-care? It's all kind of a glorious disaster.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

I guess a red loincloth with matching bandoliers and thigh-boots codes masculine if you're a Chippendales dancer. LOOOOL

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Mar 25·edited Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

Zardoz is basically Cocaine: The Movie.

John Boorman has stated he was so drugged out during filming he had no idea what half the scenes he shot were even supposed to be about. It was so bad the editor was unable to assemble Boorman's footage into anything coherent, and Boorman was forced to ADR in expository narration that wound up making even less sense. Overall it has a lot of Boorman's hallmarks: groups of manly men doing manly shit, sexual violence, and metaphysical ramblings that sound pithy at first, but have less and less meaning the more they're repeated.

Fun fact: The scene at the beginning when the Brutals are given all the guns almost didn't happen. The production had a near impossible time finding realistic prop weapons, due to filming in Ireland during the Troubles, when the UK Parliament and Ireland's Cabinet Ministers/Oireachtas were strictly regulating real and replica guns on the island.

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That explains so much.

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author

The whole cocaine-fueled fiasco tracks.

As for the guns, yes it's true! I did see a mention of that in Wikipedia, and I had to LOL. Like realism was the biggest concern for that production. They could have made them completely outrageous props and they would not have been out-of-place in the least.

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

There is a message in immortals giving guns to mortals that is critical of the role of guns and violence in our society that wouldn't work with outrageous props, but nobody watches this movie sober so that doesn't really matter :D

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

THE HAM IS GOOD

THE YAM IS EVIL

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So are sweet potatoes neutral?

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author

Bong is GOOD!

Dong is EVIL!

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"Dong is evil?"

(arches one eyebrow, slowly)

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author

I'm just following the movie plot, maaaaaan ;-)

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deletedMar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador
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Which is how he ended up in "Darby O'Gill and the Little People".

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ISTR that he didn't want to spend 18 months or more in New Zealand, either.

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I remember reading once that he said he turned down Gandalf because he didn't understand it and also turned down Morpheus in The Matrix because, again, he didn't understand it so he resolved to just go ahead and take the next role even if he didn't get it and that, friends, is how we got League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

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Rendering Sean Connery's speech phonetically is apparently one of your many hidden superpowers ... !

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deletedMar 25
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That. would be. ..... pretty awesome.

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deletedMar 25
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Ah, the wonderous "Pushy Galore". One of my favorite Bond Dames. ;-)

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I love that you wrote out his accent. Got the giggles reading it out loud!

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Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador

Boorman actually tried to sell a script for "The Lord of The Rings" trilogy as a breakneck paced single film in 1970 or so. Universal was interested, but turned it down. The script has since surfaced and appalled fans of the books with its strangeness and lack of any depth.

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Yikes! I know there was all sorts of rights issues that came up during filming LOTR between MGM and Universal. More so during filming of The Hobbit. I'm very glad they decided to make all the films with as much care and concern as they did, and took the time to do it right. Fucking Boorman.

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Don't hate on Boorman, he, like Ken Russell, had his uses....

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To call it a less than faithful adapation would be an understatement.

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Mild understatement! I'm honestly glad I was able to come of age, in the fucking 80s no less, without ever trying cocaine. Or heroin! Now, most everything else? Perhaps.

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deletedMar 25
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deletedMar 25·edited Mar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador
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I can never see the beginning of "Excalibur" without wanting to chant "Bring out your dead!"

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I also love about 95% of Excalibur and cringe hard at the rest.

One of my favorite bits of unintentional humor is the sun bouncing up and down near the horizon during the final sequences.

Highly recommended- Hope And Glory

It's Boorman's own story of life during the blitz. Amazingly sweet with very little cringe.

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I assumed Igraine was played by Boorman's wife. His son Charlie played the young Mordred.

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deletedMar 25
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Dame Helen is a treasure on both sides of the Atlantic.

Wow, that makes the whole rape scene (and sexy dance before it) even cringier.

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author

LOL, the accent makes it!

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deletedMar 25Liked by Martini Glambassador
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author

😂

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Donald Trump is in way over his head.

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To SAH girlfriend: Girl, we all dream of a labor-free life, or at least one where we can labor at what we love and get paid for it. Somehow I fail to detect that note in your "soft, feminine, hot housewife" role. Gonna be trouble when your sugar daddy dumps you.

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Ye ghods, the tradwife-in-training in that Cosmo mess -- anyone else had "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" on earworm-repeat since reading that foolishness?

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Fox News anchor-guy keeps saying "the President" when referring to Donald Trump. It's subtle election denial during the "straight news, non opinion hours" as they call it that really should get them kicked out of the WH briefing room.

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George Santos says Republicans are embarrassing him, so he quit the party - LGBTQ Nation

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2024/03/george-santos-says-republicans-are-embarrassing-him-so-he-quit-the-party/

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"Stay-at-home girlfriends"? I believe the received term is "concubines".

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I was inclined toward "bangmaids" myself, but point taken.

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"I can’t remember a time I’ve heard a man described that way."

>Mike Johnson

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The WaPo story needs to be re-published everywhere to show the world what TFG thinks makes a good businessman. To him it means stealing and enriching yourself by any means. He’ll open up the treasury as his piggy bank if he can. He will be fed while others can starve for all he cares and they need realize that.

It also shows that he’s been taken to task before for other financial improprieties so to claim that this recent ruling is to interfere with election is moot.

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Oh my fucking god are you fucking KIDDING me?!!!!

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SAHG is an acronym of shag

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I'm sure others will make the same point regarding men being described as "in over their head". See Mike Johnson, latest male person so far in over their head that Ariel looks down on him.

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I'm going to be breaking my fingers and concentration checking in here all day to see if Donald came up with the cash today.

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Well here's your answer. The Appeals Court gave him a 10 day extension, and he only has to come up with $175 million dollars.

https://www.cnn.com/politics/live-news/trump-hush-money-bond-deadline-trials-03-25-24/index.html

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This is really pissing me off. I pay plenty of taxes, and I expect the tax-supported justice system to do its f---ing job. With this latest ruling, I have been cheated. We all have.

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More importantly they let the Jr's off the hook.

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Well, fuck. That's all I got.

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WTF?!? Every analyst on MSNBC said "No way!" to cutting the bond amount OR giving PAB an extension!

Man, I gotta watch something else.

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yes, what is his secret to everyone doing his bidding?

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"Institutionalism", i.e. "double standard" (for the nominally wealthy and/or influential).

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Today may turn out to be better than Christmas Eve.

Anticipation is killing me.

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I’ve heard various opinions about Loose Cannon about whether she’s trying to tank the case for Trump or whether she’s just incompetent. My guess is a bit of both. Either way, she should be removed like, yesterday.

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PAB thinks she's the smartest non-USSC judge in the whole wide world.

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My feeling is there is a federalist society "friend" in the background feeding her her lines. Someday those emails may surface and explain much. Unless they are on that read and erase app, which may explain why her stuff is so garbled.

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