Which Pat Benatar Song Does Ted Cruz Think Is The Perfect Jam For Child Murder?
Shadows of the Night?
Once upon a time, Donald Trump said that he could shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue and his supporters would still worship him. It’s one of the few things he ended up being right about — it truly does not matter how many crimes that man commits, those doofuses are just as supportive as they’ve ever been.
In an interview this week with Joseph John Pagliarulo — aka “Joe Pags” — Senator Ted Cruz claimed that the same thing was true of Democratic senators, arguing that it would be impossible to impeach Biden for his non-existent crimes because they wouldn’t even vote for it if he were the second coming of Albert Fish.
“I don’t think Senate Democrats, if you had video of Joe Biden murdering children dressed as the devil under a full moon while singing Pat Benatar, they still wouldn’t vote to convict,” Cruz claimed on the show, as captured by the Republican Accountability Twitter account.
So like … the murdering children part is bad, obviously. But what of the rest of it? I can’t say I’d care if he were simply “dressed as the devil under a full moon while singing Pat Benatar.” Everyone needs a hobby! I have been known to sing some Pat Benatar as well and in fact do a pretty solid “We Belong” if I do say so myself.
But also … why Pat Benatar?
Does Ted Cruz find the music of Pat Benatar particularly thematically appropriate for satanic child murder? And if so, which Pat Benatar song? “Love is a Battlefield?” “Shadows of the Night?” “Heartbreaker?”
“Hit Me With Your Best Shot?”
I guess maybe if he were using a gun.
She has a song called “Hell is for Children,” but that is a song against child abuse and also kind of a deep cut for a Joe Biden child murder video.
Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo are pretty square people, although according to one message board post from 2002, people thought her “song ‘Evil Genius’ says in reverse, "Oh-h, Satan, that's why I want you to hear my music. The voice that makes my money"
That doesn’t feel right either.
I don’t really see Joe Biden as much of a Pat Benatar guy to begin with, so it’s hard to imagine which Pat Benatar song he would choose to murder children to. The most rockin’ song on his list of faves is Tina Turner’s “The Best,” and that feels more appropriate for a car commercial than child murder.
Is Cruz maybe confusing Pat Benatar for Joan Jett? Because I think that’s a thing that people who don’t know a lot about music tend to do. I guess “Bad Reputation” would work but also I can’t picture Joe Biden singing that without giggling. Or maybe he thinks she sang “Walkin’ On Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves, which I can imagine would work ironically as a song to murder by.
I guess we’ll never know. But hey! I really wanted to try out this poll feature they have on here anyway, so let’s see what you all think.
It is now your OPEN THREAD! Enjoy, and sorry for initially screwing up the links in the top ten this morning!
Hi everyone, I'm new commenting/posting on here, so please be kind and bear with me. Ok, I live in Wisconsippi, and it has been so depressing living amongst a bunch of redneck sHitler fans who would enjoy watching the entire world burn so they can 'own the libs'. We have very few businesses that feel comfortable being vocal in support of the progressive movement, but the ones we have are AWESOME, and one in particular, Minocqua Brewing Company (MBC) has been putting up with YEARS of abuse from the repubs in our beautiful northwoods of Oneida County (Oneida is just ONE of the many regressive counties in the state, unfortunately).
So, I don't know how to include the latest email update Kirk Bangstad (MBC owner) sent on his fight to keep his business open (the reps are so petty and bothered by him that they are trying to close his doors for some silly and selective code enforcement), but, can I ask that Wonkette readers (all of you cool and smart peops!) please take a minute and at least sign the MoveOn.Org petition prior to the code violation meeting that the county has rushed to put on the schedule for this coming Wed (26th).
The link is... https://sign.moveon.org/petitions/end-minocqua-s-war-on-beer?mc_cid=241024db0f&mc_eid=77d65e8e33
There should be a lot of info on the MBC facebook page (I am not on fb anymore, that place is a hell hole, imho) of the timeline of events, and everything that the county has done to he and his business in the last 3+ years. He is assuming that the recent huge attack is because he has retained (through a Super PAC which is doing some great things, btw) some high power attorneys from out of state that will bring a lawsuit to legally overturn the private voucher system in WI that is seriously bleeding our public schools dry. We will FINALLY have a progressive WI Supreme Court advantage in August when Jill Karofsky (YAY!!) is sworn in, so it is time to get some good stuff done!
Please, go to his MBC page, check out his stuff, his beers are AMAZING, and all of the work he's doing has been so inspiring, and SO needed! He's sweary, he gives zero fucks, and honestly, we need more people like him.
If this is not the right place to post this, I apologize, and I'll get the hang of this, I promise!
Peace out from lovely Oshvegas~
I think that's very typical!