
James Talarico is having a pretty good week. Recent polling shows him either tied or with a narrow lead in his Texas race for the US Senate against Republican Ken Paxton. On Friday, Talarico rolled out a plan to help US servicemembers and veterans by increasing support for veterans in housing, employment, and healthcare, and for Crom’s sake reversing the massive staff cuts Donald Trump made to the Department of Veterans Affairs.
Earlier in the week Talarico called for progressive economic reforms to unskew a system that’s been rigged to favor billionaires instead of working Americans. Talarico told the crowd at a campaign appearance in Pasadena, Texas, that there’s something very wrong when the American Dream is unaffordable for too many: “People are working hard. They’re playing by the rules, but those rules of today weren’t written for us. They were written for billionaires.”
And since the new school year is on the way, Talarico, a former middle school teacher himself, has incorporated a school-supplies drive into his campaign appearances, as well as an online campaign where supporters can fill teachers’ wish lists for classroom supplies.
Talarico’s campaign also released a new ad warning Texans that if they value their own school supplies, they should keep their pens out of reach of Ken Paxton, who in 2014 notoriously swiped an attorney’s $1000 Montblanc fountain pen — a gift from the attorney’s wife — from the metal detector station in a courthouse.
The whole thing was caught on security camera video, and when confronted by law enforcement, Paxton said it had been an understandable mistake and returned the pen. No charges were filed because the attorney, Joe Joplin, declined to press charges.
Talarico’s new ad features an endorsement from Joplin, the victim of Ken Paxton’s pen thievery. Enjoy this delightful one-minute takedown of one of Paxton’s lesser (but hilarious) acts of corruption.
We also like the Talarico campaign’s opening image of Paxton, a nicely timed mean screenshot showing his terrible face, which honestly always looks like that. Would you trust this man?
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The ad briefly reviews the facts of the case, noting that Joplin “could have pressed charges, but decided against it because Joe is a nice guy. He’d never take someone else’s pen. But he also hasn’t forgotten who took his.”
It’s a pretty effective ad highlighting Paxton’s character, or lack of it. A man who’d steal a fancy fountain pen when he thought he could get away with it is not a man you want representing you in the Senate.
Talarico campaign spokesperson JT Ennis didn’t mind underlining the point in a press statement, saying, “Ken Paxton is the kind of guy who steals your pen. James Talarico is the kind of guy who’d let you borrow his.”
Also, if you’d like to do some underlining of your own, with a writing instrument that doesn’t cost $1000 but will make a nice souvenir and conversation-starter, you can drop by the Talarico campaign merch site and get one of these lovely “NOT KEN PAXTON’S PEN” pens for just $6 plus shipping. We just ordered three ourselves.

Just a quick reminder that the merch is considered a campaign contribution, so sorry, non-USA-ans, you can’t buy one. Try eBay? And federal law prohibits asking an American friend to buy one for you; that would be an illegal “contribution in the name of another” and would probably turn into a huge scandal if caught on hidden video.
Also too, in case you missed it, here’s another sweet Talarico ad where the candidate campaigns from his grandpa’s front porch. We have no doubt it’s somehow communist.
James Talarico just might, maybe, be the Democrat who breaks the long Republican stranglehold on statewide office in Texas. He’s certainly campaigning as a happy warrior and sticking it to the meanies like Ken Paxton.
Maybe for a future ad Talarico could call attention to Paxton’s very weird history of stealing Christmas cakes from his own office staff.
[Semafor / San Antonio Current / Talarico merch page]
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Hey artsy Wonkers I need your help.
I want to include Wonkers' original art in all its forms as the header pic for Saturdays' Nice Times. (FKA as Nice Things but everyone keeps calling it Nice Times.)
Please DM me or find me here, I am working on getting an email address specifically for NT. Please be patient with me. I want to pull all of you into this project of hope. I will figure out a system for this to work for everyone no matter what bullshit the Substack app throws at us.
Thank you!
It is around 9pm on a Sunday.
You have the munchies.
It is time for a whatever is in the fridge omelet!
Mine has Vidalia onion, summer sausage, fresh heirloom tomatoes (ETA: tomatoes not refrigerated, sorry that i am not precise in my instructions on a munchies suggestion) and cream cheese and oh my it is good. yummy even when you're sober.