Who Wants Kyrsten Sinema's Stinky Old Stilettos?
The answer might terrify you.
Sen. Kyrsten Sinema of the newly formed Sinema Party is reportedly selling her old clothes on Facebook Marketplace. That's a true story not an Onion headline. Slate senior writer Christina Cauterucci broke the story about the sitting US senator's curious "side hustle" last week.
It is 11 a.m. on a Tuesday, and I am exchanging Facebook messages with Arizona Sen. Kyrsten Sinema about a lightly used pair of Badgley Mischka heels .
At least, I think it’s Kyrsten Sinema. It’s her name on the Facebook Marketplace listing, and it’s her in the profile photo, grinning at the finish line of a running race. The seller bio says she lives in Phoenix, and our one mutual Facebook friend is a former Democratic National Committee staffer. The shoes—4.5-inch stilettos adorned with rhinestone-studded flower appliqués—look as if they would fit pretty well in Sinema’s wardrobe.
The shoes remind us of happier days when we imagined Sinema as the Senate's camp style icon rather than a centrist bag lady who pals around with Mitch McConnell. We all swooned — well, maybe just me — when we saw her ensemble during her 2019 swearing-in ceremony. (Everyone who insists she's going to eventually go full MAGA should recall that she literally refused to take her oath on the Bible but instead did so on a copy of the Constitution.)
The Facebook Marketplace ad states that the stilettos, with "strappy floral heel" that "zips up the back," were "worn once out of the store, but too big for me. In perfect condition." This reads like code for "wore them out dancing once but they made my feet bleed. Threw them into the back of the closet the next morning." Claiming they were "too big" is of course more flattering to Sinema's tootsies than admitting she'd gone full Cinderella's step-sisters on those suckers to no avail.
For the low price of $65, you could have Sinema's "lightly used" shoes. These aren't like the Manolo Blahniks, Jimmy Choos and Christian Louboutins Carrie Bradshaw implausibly wore all the timeon "Sex and the City." Brand new Bradley Mischka's retail between $85 to $275 on Zappos.
According to Slate, Sinema is "currently hawking—among other things—a $215 cycling ensemble, a $25 trucker hat, and a $150 stainless steel watchwith a silicone strap. Within the past six weeks, she has offloaded a $150 fitness tracker ring, an $80 cycling jersey, and a $500 bicycle travel case. Over the past two years, and across at least five Facebook groups for athletes, she has listed several dozen personal items, including a $100 pair of sunglasses('Just too big for my tiny head!!'), two $50 puffer jackets, three $75 pairs of high-heeled boots, a $75 cycling bib, a $60 Lululemon raincoat , several mesh tanks at $55 a pop ($20 off the current retail price ), and multiple bikinis , priced between $60 and $70, that ranged from 'never worn' to 'in great condition.'
OK, the stilettos were pushing it, because she'd obviously worn them in her bare-ass feet, but she's really selling "multiple bikinis"? I don't think you can in good conscience resell glorified underwear. Bikinis are a gamble. You know that going in. (My wife's response when I showed her the below ad and quickly clarified that it wasn't a potential Christmas gift: "Did she ...? What? NO!")
Jim Small at the Arizona Mirror confirmed that "Yes, that really is Kyrsten Sinema selling designer clothes and bike gear on Facebook." She's not just quirky. She's frugal!
Facebook has a "Buy Nothing" group, where you can give away items to people in your community. That might be more appropriate for a US senator with a taxpayer-funded annual salary of $174,000. However, she should still reconsider the stilettos and bikinis.
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