328 Comments

Yay the very channel I was looking for=^^= Bit of Python/HTML, couple of hours in SynthF/the GIMP and knockup some processing backend and cross platform wrapper and I can finally really motor in to my woo thing with the bonus that not only is it 100% genuine total wooShit (patent pendulum) its 100% personalised woo! And auto generated and delivered too!

is IwooBollox taken yet?

Sorry, understand your concerns but frankly yer average punters have proven they are at least 50% total morons so why not grift a bit of beer and smokes money?

Expand full comment

There's so much good Shakespeare, it saddens me that most people's first exposure to it is R&J, which is terrible. Even teenaged, hormone-drenched me thought the idea of falling in love one night, getting married the next, and committing suicide over each other the night after that (or two nights later? immaterial to my point) is batshit crazy. Like, I'd want to know someone for at least a week before I decide to kill myself over them. 🙄

But nooooo, "everyone knows R&J, so that's a good intro!"... except for the fact that almost everyone in my class -- me included -- didn't know that they killed themselves in the end.

Expand full comment

For $15 bucks I can give you a cream to keep you from coming too fast. Oh, wait, y'all are talking about something different...

Expand full comment

I like tarot cards for myself sometimes because they can help shift around the way I look at things and you know how easy it is to get stuck because you're focused on one aspect of a problem. My therapist is more effective, but also more expensive.

They're also really nice aesthetically. Lush artwork, a satisfying feel in the have.

Expand full comment

Not necessarily. If the weird tricks increase the velocity rather than the supply, you might actually get deflation. Of course, a trick like that would basically be the Holy Grail of Economics.

Expand full comment

I don't believe in spells, but it's getting increasingly tempting to believe in midnight crossroad bargains.

Expand full comment

Unofficial stage direction for Malvolio, every other line or so: "(makes appropriate inappropriate gesture)"

Expand full comment

Amateur. All you really need is a microprocessor and a Dho-Nha function. Just make sure your Elder Signs are made of durable materials, and you'll be perfectly

Expand full comment

ID Channel FTW!! Source of all legal knowledge.

Expand full comment

Dave Ramsey spends many nights at home, jerking off. It's free!!

Expand full comment

My numerologist says those money-making spells are bullshit.

Expand full comment

Flivver. It was an old timey automobile.

Expand full comment

I've heard the theory proposed that it was actually a satire of tragic romance dramas of the time -- it just outlived most of what it was satirizing. I mean, when we first meet Romeo, he's proclaiming his undying, eternal love for -- Rosalind. Then he meets Juliet later that evening. The play makes a point of how ridiculous its premise is.

Expand full comment

The Democrats at one point proposed legislation that would forbid promising a specific monetary return for a prayer or whatever. But then the Republicans took the House and killed the bill, for Religious Free Dumb.

Expand full comment

I did the same exact thing with the same exact results. I was pissed, so I called the 800 number, and said WTF? And they said "WTF did you expect??"

Expand full comment

I'm surprised Sarah Palin hasn't been peddling her wares over at the Fiverr. She's got the power of prayer and for only $19.99 she could turn you into a maverick or a hockey mom. This seems like the perfect place for Sarah to get her grift on!

Expand full comment