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I was standing outside <b>Signatures</b> when <b>Theodore Olson</b> handed me a large box marked "Palm Beach presidential ballots" and asked me to hold onto them for a minute. He then sped off in a cab, and I haven't seen him since. What should I do with these things? The chads are getting all over everything.

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I had breakfast with Chairman Mao. He chews with his mouth open and stuck me with the check. Jerk.

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I hope I get to have a meal and drink with Ann Richards and Molly Ivins after Saturday's rapture.

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I saw Jack Stuef was given free-reign over the Wonkette today. 100 horrible memes were born.

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I think Scooter had the kid's mother exposed as a CIA operative and had her picture put on the Jumbotron.

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Drink more fluids!

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I saw Lon Chaney, Jr. walkin' with the Queen, doin' the werewolves of London.

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