1317 Comments

A reminder that this Saturday's Wonkette Movie Night is 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐲 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐧. A fun Denzel Washington flick from earlier in his career. You probably haven't heard of it because it was released the same year as another Denzel movie, the Oscar winning "Glory"

He's a police chief on a tropical island who has to solve a murder. Filmed in a beautiful location and has a kickass reggae soundtrack.

https://open.substack.com/pub/ziggywiggy/p/wonkette-movie-night-feb-17-the-mighty?r=2knfuc&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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We needed one more comment for it to be 1,420 and with the likes at 69, I'd say that's perfect cause I'm immature in all the right ways!

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Cassandra to Harley: "I'm sorry I stole your ring!"

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I missed this? I frickin’ LOVE Birds of Prey. Great V-Day choice.

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A rugby league team to be feared or the new Last Supper?

https://substack.com/profile/156971455-c-and-a-bongo-man/note/c-49598639?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2lgfy7

Actually a bunch of grand old Dames (and a queen) brought together to celebrate 400 years of Shakespeare's first folio.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-68303829

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There's strong schadenfreude in the Missouri legislature taking the week off so they could attend the parade in Kansas City. They were all so excited to attend.

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I have a half-day today, and then a very long weekend. Which is all great.

Unfortunately, half-days tend to mean half or more of my students don't show up, so they're very boring. And whatever snow we're going to get is supposed to hit right when I'll be driving home from work.

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I always hated half days because of the attendance, too. You can't teach new material when half the class is out.

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Half days is why the lord invented videos. The few that do show up for em are not paying attention anyway

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Yep, that's one of the things I did, certainly.

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Earlier, on a masochistic whim, I half-listened to the (1980) “Fame” soundtrack.

Now I can’t sleep for hearing “Hot Lunch Jam” in my head, over and over. A loud jazz song ostensibly about school lunch. God, take me now.

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An Australian lullaby to replace it

https://youtu.be/_BJTRSWXMRA

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💚💚💚💚💚Awwww, it’s lovely! This place has me trained to expect the worst!

Remember Badly Drawn Boy? It reminded me a little of that/him/them.

Did I ever ask you if you know of/like Ed Harcourt? I love his Maplewood album so much.

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I would never torture your earholes!

I really liked Badly Drawn Boy, and I love Ed Harcourt! I saw him perform an intimate gig and I sat on the floor. It’s one of many fond music memories.

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I AM SO TERRIFIED TO LOOK, MATHILDA

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*waltzes about like Angela Lansbury in Gaslight*

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I really thought it was gonna be, like, “Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree.”

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LOL, no. Boring Australian junk. Men at Work had to start paying royalties for that after Spicks and Specks had it as a question on the telly show.

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We learned it in third grade. : )

“Other Cultures” LOLOLOL

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I'll trade Karma Chameleon with you if that would help.

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That doesn't sound like helping.

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Well, fuck.

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“help”

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We never did get to meet the teacher looking for the philosopher's stone or the one teaching levitation.

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I woke up with 'March of the Volunteers' (the Chinese national anthem) in my head as a lovely earworm.

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I liked that song when I was a tween.

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If it’s yellow then it’s jello, if it’s blue it could be stew-ew-ew.

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Okay, gents and gentesses, time for me to start getting ready for the day. Today's the last day of the three-day workshop I've been asked to attend as part of a textbook revision process, so I must once again submit to the Tyranny of Trousers.

On the bright side, we should be done by lunchtime.

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This is REALLY cool. My dream was always to work in juvenile corrections curriculum development.

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Was it one of those dreams where you were inexplicably late and you realised you'd left the house in your pyjamas?

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When I have a house in my pjs, I am very careful when sitting down...

Yes yes, I know the way out.

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…and you can’t… quite… dial your rotary phone, completely.

While flying, and your teeth fall out.

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Oh God teeth falling out is the WORST!

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Trying to fit your house into your pyjamas is also very frustrating!

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I had to deal with juvenile detainees. (shudders)

The part of the book my group's working on covers the intake, classification, and release process. Other lucky folks are dealing with the juvenile sections.

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Too bad cafeenman isn't around anymore. He does psychiatric intake.

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In FL, involuntary commitment for mental health is nicknamed 'Baker Act,' after the law that set the system up. I've had to write the affidavits for Baker Acting some people over the course of my career.

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Good morning!

#Worldle #755 1/6 (100%)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🎉

⭐🚩🗣️🪙

https://worldle.teuteuf.fr

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Good morning!

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I think it was after the Macallan and Pepsi incident that the murders started

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When people say we should return to the earlier spirit of Christmas, back when things were civilized:

https://substack.com/profile/117657568-opposite-of-oligarch/note/c-49596937?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=1y1t5s

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I see Satan is dressed for jolly old times in that picture.

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They poked, I can tell.

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Diane's Blog: I got an email from my divorce lawyer yesterday about a "rambling" settlement agreement offer. I admit that I felt sort of bad hiring this VERY expensive and aggressive lawyer because I know she is going to judge my ex-husband, and she clearly is. I feel bad but I also feel like maybe he should have taken help when I tried to get it for him. He is STRUNG OUT on d̵i̵e̵t̵ ̵p̵i̵l̵l̵s̵ office worker pills which is the new diet pills.

The offer was BONKERS and a HARD LEFT SWIPE: he wants me to move out of the condo we bought so that he can move tenants in and buy me out month to month which doesn't meet ANY of what I am asking for which is:

✔️ The mortgage stays as is.

✅️ Ex-husband makes no claim on the condo.

☑️ Diane refinances in her name only as scheduled (2027).

✔️ Condo is deeded to Diane.

☑️ Debt stays assigned as is.

I told my attorney, he is using this divorce to acquire property. FAT CHANCE. She told him we weren't settling until after discovery, and I am going to offer to let him walk away because Discovery is going to end with me having a claim on his condo, I have no doubt.

On a funny note, he DID offer to split the attorney fees which made me laugh because I have told him that this divorce is costing me $0. To quote myself, "I have spent enough time and money in my life for this man, I am not putting in anymore."

So that's the divorce drama.

I got another valentine's day call from the man formerly known as kink partner but whi is going to get elevated to something, I don't know what yet but he wants to know. In my diary (will posting it get me up votes? If so, I will post, lol), I wrote: "To say you are just my friend ignores my passion and desire, to say you are my lover discounts the time we spend laughing, and to say you are just someone I just fuck around with tosses away my admiration and respect for you." What do I call this? Emotional monogamy?

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Apologies in advance for mansplainin' but: I hope your attorney goes for the throat.

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That is why I hired her. Her eyes twinkled when I told her he was an attorney. She wanted the job.

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This is good. This is very good. That's what you need.

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A Rollicking Partnership?

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Diane, you know we don't get on.

Please don't treat this divorce as a silly game. You're going to get fucking rolled if you do.

Perhaps I am on Team Attorney.

However, for this one post I'm Team Diane.

You need to understand that you're playing for keeps here. There is a lot of money at stake. Not ego, money. You're going to get fucked if you're not careful. I hope your lawyer is good.

I've seen you say that you're going to walk away with everything before. No. Be fucking careful Diane.

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Someone gonna be bitter in a year. Well, more bitter than now. If parties can’t come to agreement, it will be foisted upon them.

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Sad story: older brother recently got divorced. She had a lawyer, and he DID NOT.

I (and at least one other sib) very forcefully (many times) said YOU NEED TO GET AN ATTORNEY!!1!.. but he said "no, it's fine, not worth the money"..

.

Welp, his life is a mess now. She got the house. but he got the mortgage. He's on social security, and apparently pretty much liquidated his 401K before the divorce and heaven knows where that money went.. He is one step away from homeless.

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My lawyer is fantastic. Her eyes lit up when I told her he was a family law attorney. She is aggressive and has assured me I will be happy with the outcome and I am paying A LOT for her. I am NOT getting fucked by some man who made a joke of marriage. Thank you for the advice.

I am not walking away with everything. I am making no claim on his property and am asking to keep exactly what I paid for.

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I did mansplaining, sorry

I worry though. Sometimes you write things that seem inarticulate and lacking in legal thought. Yeah, I'll say that. I want you to win.

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Can't you two just get a room!

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Significant Other?

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I am not a fan of airing divorce details to casual acquaintances. There is a cruel edge to it.

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I agree. I've kept the really bad stuff to myself. : )

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Keep it for the tell-all book. :)

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The wheelchair in the photo illustrating this story makes it entirely impossible to believe this is a person with a serious injury. That's a freakin' hospital chair, designed to be pushed by someone else. That is NOT the wheelchair of someone who wants to and tries to move themselves.

Look, I know me some wheelchairs. I'm the kind of idiot who thinks of wheelchairs like bicycles and scooters and cars and buses: It's a vehicle. Its purpose is for getting around. The idea that you have to be UNABLE to get around without a wheelchair in order to use a wheelchair is absolutely daft. If using a wheelchair makes **anything** easier than trying the same thing without a wheelchair, then use the damn chair. I've been doing this since I lived at that urban commune I mentioned a while back, and because of my disabilities it has meant several days a year of heavy wheelchair use for the last 3 decades, some years quite a bit more. I'm comfortable in them. I can pop a wheelie **on grass** and hold it for over a half hour while I have a 4 year old on my lap, bouncing around to the band at a music festival.

I have never been someone that health insurance would determine "qualified" for a wheelchair, but I've used them plenty. I have experience in these things, and the photo on this story just **kills** my willing suspension of disbelief.

So stock photo companies, if you're listening: There are a lot of wheelchair companies that build cool, lightweight machines that would love the exposure. Take some reasonably realistic photos of people who USE wheelchairs, not just people who happen to be sitting in one. Save these forty-pound, back-handled chairs for photos of nursing staff helpfully pushing someone along.

https://newatlas.com/medical/anti-inflammatory-loaded-nanoparticles-target-inflammation-spinal-cord-injury/

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This is an issue across the board with disability stuff and such a big part of why representation matters.

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Stock photo companies rely on submissions. Blame stupid-ass photographers.

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These quotes from the Hur report were not widely reported:

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Biden was wearing a blue blazer and gray slacks, which accentuated his slim figure, perhaps too slim, indicating that there may be an underlying digestive issue.

His hair, what was left of it, was combed back, leaving part of his skull uncovered, indicating a receding line due to his advanced age and probably the cause of some memory loss.

A sympathetic jury would not indict him anyway, since he will remind them of their dear grandfather. So, no charges.

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No matter how many Werther’s he passed out to opposing counsel, he never seemed to run out.

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But, dammit, were his 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘦𝘴 polished?

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He kept a distance to us. He was always there, just distant.

When we paid for lunch, he always put in for the tip.

His crystal cerulean eyes never wavered. He'd put down a crisp five dollar bill.

We felt that he was too stentorian so we put a bullet ant on his seat. It would have worked, except Stephen Miller ran in to the room masturbating like a meth-addled chinchilla and rather spoiled the moment

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Hur needs to Hur-ry up and get the fuck out.

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Hur hur hur.

That piece of shit.

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How did his ass look in those slacks?

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Presidential as hell!

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Tight, like a common Tom of Finland fan.

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