Wonkette Movie Night: Raiders Of The Lost Ark

'Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?'

I know it’s hard to resist the urge to fast forward to the Nazis-getting-punched and the Nazi-face-melting parts, but try, because this flick is an epic adventure from start to finish. A fantastic ride of near death escapes and mesmerizing treasures from the ancient world. A mystery to be solved by brilliant adventurers, some are good like Indy and some are pure evil like the obvious Nazis. Yes they are the baddies.

Raiders Of The Lost Ark pits archaeology professor Indiana Jones against an unscrupulous, treasure hunting French archaeologist, René Belloq. He’s unscrupulous not just because he will cheat and steal to get his prize, but there’s the whole Nazi collaboration thing going on, and if you’re hanging out with the Nazis, you are a one.

They seek the Ark of the Covenant, a golden chest thought to have carried the stone tablets of the Ten Commandments. It is believed that it can wield immense power and any army who carries it before them will be invincible. Hence the desire of a disturbed dictator with a bad moustache to possess it. But Indiana understands that something this powerful can destroy those who attempt to control it. As the forces beyond humanity’s understanding are released, Indiana tells the woman who is fighting at his side,

“Marion, don't look at it. Shut your eyes, Marion. Don't look at it, no matter what happens!”

But the Nazis won’t listen, they must see what humans were not meant to see. When that happens it’s a mind blowing experience, literally. There’s just something so satisfying about seeing Nazis get what they deserve.

When punching Nazis became the meme of the moment, one man’s image was frequently used. Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones.

Harrison Ford was asked how Indy would react to the current fight against those marching around in khakis and wearing swastika armbands.

“He’d push 'em out of the way to get in the first punch. As well he should."

I think now is a prefect time to aspire to be like Indiana Jones.

Raiders Of The Lost Ark stars Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman, Jonathan Rhys-Davies and Ronald Lacey. Directed by Steven Spielberg with the soundtrack by John Williams.

Free with ads on Pluto TV. With subscription on Prime and Paramount+. $3.99 in the usual places.

To make requests and see the movie lists and schedules, go to WonkMovie.

The animated short is a fun little one from 2012, Racing Bugs.

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