Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are In The Valley Of The Dolls

Come read them!

Happy weekend!

How are you all this weekend? I am swell. I've actually been spending much of this week rereading some classic literature, but which I mean that I am rereading Jacqueline Susann's seminal novel, Valley of the Dolls . Surprise! Still as much of a jam as it was when I read it in high school, which I cannot actually say for a lot of books I really liked when I was in high school (I've tried to reread Tom Robbins and I just can't ).

As you probably know, Judy Garland was originally supposed to play aging Broadway star (who by the way is 35 in the book) Helen Lawson ... and that did not exactly work out. For reasons. Of 1967-era Judy Garland. The part ended up being played by Susan Hayward. Of course, while Hayward was a fabulous actress (have you seen I Want To Live! ? Because you should see I Want To Live!.) she was not much of a singer, so during the part where she's supposed to be singing in her Broadway show, she's actually lip syncing to the vocals of one Margaret Whiting.

However! Judy Garland actually did do a recording of the song — I'll Plant My Own Tree , by Dory and Andre Previn, who did most of the soundtrack — and some person on YouTube made a video where Hayward is instead lip-syncing to the Judy Garland version, and it's both pretty weird and pretty awesome.

Judy Garland Stereo - I'll Plant My Own Tree - Valley of The Dolls    www.youtube.com 

Also here is a whole pile of very weird coincidences — one of the reasons the film is famous (aside from being trashed by critics) is because it was supposed to be the breakout role of Sharon Tate, who was obviously murdered by the Manson family and married to Roman Polanski, who then directed Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby , who then went on to stay with Valley of the Dolls songwriters Dory and André Previn so they could take care of her after her breakup with Frank Sinatra, who the character of Tony Polar in the book/movie was compared to, and then Mia Farrow got pregnant with André Previn's baby and he divorced Dory Previn in order to marry her and then Dory Previn had to go to a sanitarium ... just like two of the characters in Valley of the Dolls . That sounds really flip, I guess. It was all actually very sad! But still — many coincidences.

All of which is really just to say that I truly cannot believe that Ryan Murphy has not done a Valley of the Dolls related miniseries.

Anyway! Here are your top ten stories of the week! Sparkle, Neely, sparkle!

10. Republicans Don't Understand What Furries Are, And That Should Tell Us Everything 

9. Trumps Whine As NYAG Letitia James Kicks Their Ass All Over The Docket 

8. It's Loser Former Georgia Senator Gal Kelly Loeffler's Time In The Barrel 

7. American Exceptionalism: 15-Year-Old Mass Shooter Kills Five In Raleigh 

6. Wonkette Weekend Chat: Herschel Walker's Halloween Monster Mash! 

5. Kanye Creates World's First Scenario In Which Dov Charney Looks Like The Good Guy 

4. Trump 'Raising Funds' For Republicans, Keeping *99 Percent*. That's Our Trump! 

3. Charlie Kirk Needs A Friend 

2. Alan Dershowitz Just Saying Trump's Antisemitism Part Of His Charm, We Think? 

1. I Watched A Congressional Candidate's Boring Porn So You Don't Have To (Not That Anyone Does) 

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