Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Is Your Passion For Life

Breathe in, breathe out

Hello and welcome to the weekend!

This week, I bring you a flashback to the greatest television show of all time, the NBC soap opera Passions ! It had everything, it had Hayley Mills' sister Juliet Mills as a witch named Tabitha with a magic doll named Timmy that came to life, zombies, tomato soup cake, an orangutan love story, people getting possessed, musical numbers — pretty much everything anyone could want in a television show that somehow aired literally every day at 2pm on NBC.

Here is a clip from early on in the show when Tabitha was on a quest to ensure that Charity Standish, who had the power to become the most powerful good witch of all time, did not reach her full potential by trying to get her to turn to the dark side and kill her true love, Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald. It was not working out well and Charity got possessed by an evil demon, like you do.

Evil Charity & Evil Pendant (Passions)    www.youtube.com 

MY HEART.

And here are your top ten stories of the week! The real ones this time! Because we're using a different metric!

10. 'Lunatic Country Music Person' Maren Morris Turns Tucker Carlson's Hate-Babbles Into $100K For Trans Kids 

9. Trump PAC Gets Grand Jury Subpoena For Grifting MAGA Rubes, So He's Gonna Sue ... Fox News 

8. WE MIGHT HAVE FOUND A DEMOCRAT WHO DID SOMETHING BAD, LIKE MURDER 

7. I, Steve Bannon, Rode A Freight Train All Night To Get To Court, And This Is How You Treat Me? 

6. Sarah Palin Pretty Sure She’ll Win Election If Everyone Else Kindly Quits Race Halfway Through 

5. Here's King Barack Obama Calling Michelle 'Fine' Like Some Guy Who Loves His Wife And Thinks She's Hot 

4. Republicans: ‘We’re Not Banning Abortion! You’re Banning Abortion! 

3. Bill Barr Says Trump Guilty AF, But Shouldn't Go To Jail Because It Will Make MAGA Mad 

2. WI Sen. Ron Johnson Says Don't Worry, He Was Just Lying About Not Opposing Gay Marriage 

1. No Matter How Corrupt You Thought They Were, It Was Worse, Says Former SDNY Head Geoffrey Berman 

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