Worse And Worse. Tabs, Tues., July 1, 2025
And worse and worse.
Good morning! At press time, the Republican Senate is skullfucking Americans in the face for the next 17 generations with its Big Bill to Finish Us All Off For Good. Typical Tuesday!
So here we are. The plan is to take citizenship away from naturalized Americans, and to use the Civil Rights Division at Pam Bondi’s Nazi Justice Department to do it. Will they stop there? And what does that mean? Click link! [Joyce White Vance]
And right on cue, Republicans are taking up the call for investigations into whether Zohran Mamdani’s citizenship should be revoked. White House Birth Of A Nation Barbie Karoline Leavitt, dressed of course like your Nana’s Nana, took a question from Peter Doocy, the chinless dork who resulted when the sharpest sperm in Steve Doocy’s balls forced its way into an innocent egg, and she didn’t say they weren’t interested in the idea. Any Democrat who isn't taking this opportunity to get in front of every camera they can find (especially the ones on Insta and TikTok) and condemn this, call it xenophobic fascism, and endorse the living hell out of Zohran is worse than useless, a collaborator. (HAKEEM.) [Semafor]
John Catsimatidis, the MAGA wingnut blob/Drag Queen Story Hour Jabba the Hutt who owns a couple small grocery chains in New York, is being VERY DRAMATIC BITCHY REEEEER and also lying about Zohran Mamdani’s plan to maybe put a couple city-owned grocery stores in food deserts. BREAD LINES AIYEEEEE! [JoeMyGod]
Meanwhile, the National Review reports that Zohran is a lifelong juicebox socialist who has committed the sins of pilfering and rapping. [National Review]
Trump Chief Border Nazi Pig Thug Wannabe Middle School Gym Teacher Tom Homan is VERY UPSET that there is a new app that uses GPS to alert people to the presence of ICE Gestapo, and he’s VERY UPSET that CNN is reporting on it. Damn. Imagine if Jews and immigrants and gays and journalists and others in 1930s/1940s Germany had had an app like that, how that might have helped. Damn. Anyway, Tom Homan is stomping his dumpy chunky little rear paws about it, demanding investigations, wah wah. [JoeMyGod]
Meanwhile:
Oh I am cracking my fucking knuckles to write about that this morning, worry y’all not.
You must have 37 pieces of flair and be incredibly insecure about your inverted micropenis to work at ICE, it is just the rules.
Donald Trump has announced some new fragrances, wonder if they smell like his courtroom farts. [Trump Fragrance]
The Wall Street Journal says by driving Thom Tillis to retire, Trump has put the Senate in play in 2026. You know, if Republicans are even planning on being accountable to voters ever again, ha ha. [Wall Street Journal]
Lara Trump reportedly maybe thinks she’s gonna take her Mar-a-Lago face to be the new senator from North Carolina. [CNN]
Eric Trump thinks his own Mar-a-Lago face might get to be president in 2028, ha ha, OK, One Who Is Dumber Than Junior, you betcha. [Guardian]
Over at my Friday place The Moral High Ground, I’ve been making fun of MAGA masculinity A LOT lately. And then Donald Trump and the MAGA movement spent all of last week calling Trump “Daddy” and whimper-jizzing in his general direction. No matter what you ever say about these people, they are one million times more pathetic. [The Moral High Ground]
You guys, don’t worry, they’re not cutting off one of the NOAA’s most important hurricane forecasting tools yet. They’re doing it in 30 days! Still before peak hurricane season, we’re fucked! [AP]
The continued enstupiding of the United States of America. All the best people will leave.
Donald Trump had a hard time with phone yesterday. He was trying to talk to all the charlatans and hucksters and groomers he considers “faith leaders” but phone was bad. Maybe God was signaling that he hates these people and wants them to shut the fuck up and never say words again.
Keema palak. It’s a lovely spinach and ground chicken curry. If you can’t find Kashmiri chili powder without trying too hard — I couldn’t, and I wasn’t in the right part of town to go to any of my favorite international groceries — you can use gochujaru. Turned out fabulous. [New York Times]
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It's a duck parade in your hed gif. More info about where and why here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/duck-dash
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/8158a055-d30f-414f-b80e-326da8dda650
While the Dem establishment runs away from Zohran Mamdani the Trump administration contemplates stripping him of his citizenship and deporting him.
What the fuck? Trump attempted an insurrection on this country and the Dem establishment defended him from being 14th amendmented. “No, we have to let the people decide! We will defeat him at the ballot box!”
Well, the people decided on Zohran. Where the fuck is the Dem leadership’s defense of democracy now?