You're Either With Us Or You're Against Ballroom. Tabs, Tues., Aug. 18, 2026
We are card-carrying members of Antiba(llroom).
Good morning, it’s tabs!
Last week Dok covered the Senate race in Kansas between the MAGA creep quack doctor Roger Marshall and the good woke Methodist minister Adam Hamilton. Last night, I gave it the Moral High Ground treatment, so hop on over for that! If you subscribed, you woulda already known about it last night. Just saying. [The Moral High Ground]
Donald Trump really was on one yesterday. You’re either with us or you’re against ballroom. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for ballroom. When in the course of human events, BALLROOOOOOOOOM!
This next clip has everything. It has Trump being an 80 year-old piece of shit who hasn’t earned the respect you’d give a housefly, but yet DEMANDS to a woman “Quiet!” and says “You’re very disrespectful in front of this young man!” Then to the man, “Don’t you find her disrespectful?” (Did we mention that this week the Supreme Court told Trump yet again this week that the woman he was adjudicated to have raped gets to keep his five million dollars?) Trump whined “Quiet!” again. Asked the reporter who she’s with. It was CNN. So Trump abused her for being fake news, and a “loud, boisterous person. Be quiet!” Then he attacked another woman reporter for the “CNN fake report” that there wasn’t enough food on the USS Abraham Lincoln. THEN he told a Sir Story (means it didn’t happen, all his stories where people show him respect by calling him “sir” are lies) about an admiral telling him “I’ve been ships that are out there much longer than that, sir!”
All of this in 56 seconds.
The saga of Jon Ossoff bringing up how Trump would rather travel with “Natalie” than work continues! He really, really, really, really struck a nerve. Here is former Trump campaign manager Bill Stepien BOO-HOO-HOO-ing that Ossoff owes Trump an apology! Because that was below the belt!
Meanwhile, try not to laugh your ass off at Scott Jennings:
Won’t somebody think of the WOMEN? Won’t somebody think of ALL THE WOMEN? This is your message for ALL THE WOMEN who work in politics? That if they end up following around an 80-year-old pervert and spending every hour with him and being his “human printer” who prints out flattering articles for him, if they write him fawning letters about how he is their alpha and their omega and and their god on earth — literally “you are all that matters to me” — people might think there is something going on?
Won’t they think of the LITTLE GIRLS out there who might dream of one day wiping an octogenarian fascist’s ass, and only she and Trump know how literally that phrase applies? It certainly does seem to be the spirit of her job!
All this because Ossoff said one casual phrase, that Trump would rather “travel with Natalie” on his flying trash palace than do his job.
Oh BOY, he struck a nerve!
Cry more, bitch.
When JD Vance dies, he wants to be able to tell God he did everything he could have done for, un, Dinesh D’Souza’s greasy-looking son-in-law.
Is Donald Trump walking around with an entire Squatty Potty in his underpants? Don’t ask Natalie, that would be sexist!
Just like his braindead order on catapults on ships, Trump’s vaccine order is a giant pain in the ass that would benefit no one and would require drugs companies to create millions of individual vaccines that haven’t been utilized in the US in literally decades. All because the useless shitbag’s brain stopped functioning in 1989. [PBS]
Nancy Mace’s public breakdown continues with this story about the nine tattoos she got really fast. [JoeMyGod]
Trump’s approval rating down to 33 percent. Hard to imagine why. [Reuters]
All right, that’ll be enough for now. More stories when we make ‘em!
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Marmots are more about brawl rooms. Learn more about these social critters here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/marmot-melee
And have a meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/2416f5b1-4297-435f-a716-0ab4abc2818b
All of the pearl clutching about disrespecting NATALIE (in pointing out she exists?) by the same guys that strongly insinuated (or even outright said) that Kamala only got to where she is by sleeping her way to the top. Spare me the phony concern about respecting women, dorks.