Ron DeSantis Will Teach Woke Baseballs A Lesson About Trying To Keep Ki​ds From Getting Shot In The Face

State/Local Politics
Ron DeSantis Will Teach Woke Baseballs A Lesson About Trying To Keep Ki​ds From Getting Shot In The Face

Well, earlier this week we were wondering how authoritarian poopypants white Christian fascist leaders would react to professional sports deciding to take the bold step of coming down on the side of children not getting shot in the face with AR-15's at school. Marco Rubio was so mad at the Miami Heat for its anti-kids-shot-in-face message.

READ MORE! Oh No, Marco Rubio, Are ALL The Sports Turning Into Wokesters Opposed To Kids Getting Murdered With Guns?

IN PARTICULAR! Go To Hell And Shut The F*ck Up, Marco Rubio

And then right after that, in the baseball world, the New York Yankees and Florida's own Tampa Bay Rays decided to devote all their social medias during their game to educating on preventing gun violence by doing something about the damn guns. Another Florida team, taking the woke groomer position of "kids shouldn't get shot in the face at school." PC cancel culture run amok!

Luckily, Florida has a governor who's not afraid to unzip his pants and dig in there and pull out his pee pee and shake it at Mickey Mouse like "Hey Wokey Mouse! MY PEANUS IS ANGRY WITH YOU! For bein' a big Wokey Mouse! I will now screw Florida taxpayers out of a billion dollars in a fit of performative anger at Wokey Mouse!" (Not a direct quote.)

And luckily, that same Florida governor isn't afraid to punish the woke baseballs for siding with kids not getting shot in the face by guns, instead of siding with the guns.

"Hey, Tampa Bay Rays! More like Tampa Bay GAYS, am I right? Oh wait the law I signed says I'm not 'posed to say gay! Dagnabbit! Anyway, MY PEANUS IS ANGRY WITH YOU!"

We actually don't know what Ron DeSantis said when he decided to veto $35 million for a facility in Pasco County the team intends to use for spring training, but we're sure that captures the spirit.


This comes from a rightwing site, so obviously the language is journalist dogshit. Also, as of this writing, only rightwing media are reporting on DeSantis's motivations for this veto, but we wouldn't be surprised if this kind of scoop got to them first:

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis plans to veto a $35 million legislation for a Pasco County facility that’s earmarked for the Tampa Bay Rays’ spring training, OutKick has learned.

DeSantis’s decision is in response to the Rays politicizing recent shootings in Buffalo and Uvalde ahead of a matchup with the Yankees in May.

So mean of them, to "politicize" two out of the three large gun massacres America's had in the last two weeks. Shit, by the time you read this, they might have politicized the third one.

DeSantis is giving a voice to the people who do not want their sports and children’s companies on the front lines of the cultural divide.

Go fuck yourself.

The local news confirms that DeSantis vetoed that $35 million, but again, as of this writing, only rightwing sites have the news about his motivations. (Breitbart is typically hysterical about the Rays' social media blitz during that game against the Yankees.) We look forward to more detailed reporting when the grownups start looking into it.

Regardless — and even if these rightwingers completely boned the story, not that they'd ever do such a thing — we'll be sure to keep updating you on each and every time Ron DeSantis's MY PEANUS IS ANGRY WITH YOU! and he starts wiggling it around.

[h/t JoeMyGod / Outkick]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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