2025 Shitheels Of The Year: Trump’s Clown Car Cabinet
How can you pick just one?
Let’s have a sing-along, why not?
There’s JD Vance and Lee Zeldin, Kelly Loeffler and Linda McMahon,
Pammy Jo Bondi, John Ratcliffe, Tulsi Gabbard and Doug Bergum,
Marco Rubio, Kristi Noem, Doug Collins, and Russell Vought,
Brooke Rollins, Howard Lutnick, Pete Hegseth, Chris Wright and Sean Duffy,
Who wants to go to the moon but is scared of the subway!
Where did Trump find people this dumb and ugly?
There’s Kristi Noem, Scott Bessent, and Mormon sidekick Jamieson Greer,
Also Scott Turner and some lady named Lori Chavez-DeRemer
Plus Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and his brain worm!
And they all sit around a big table and go around taking turns!
Saying lines and praising Trump and wearing their dumb red hats
And once the cameras turn off they all take it to the mat
Screaming “Daddy, hey, daddy, watch my act!”
They’re ranting white-supremacist manics.
Then Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski fly to Chile and have some kisses!
And Scott Bessent swung for Elon then he missed-ed.
Susie Wiles, she’s their den mom, she’s got her shaved sidekick Jimmy,
She said NO MORE DRAMA, all you kids, drama is just for MOMMY!
I’ll call up Vanity Fair, spill the tea there, and I’m sure their treatment will be quite balmy!
Get your lip injections, they’ll airbrush all your imperfections,
Then it’s cry your heart out, Michele Obaaaammy!
Who says Conservatives can’t be glammy?
They’re hypocritical liars who hum the din to any fugue they’ve heard before,
A bottom-barrel back bench unqualified to watch a cat or manage a liquor store
They’ll out-Caligua Caligula and you never heard such dumb cacophonies
Since the croaking chorus of the frogs from Aristophanes!
They’ve got more tricks than a novice in a nunnery
They sold their souls and Botoxed their folds and make Nixon’s plumbers look like mere plumbery
How many ways can they all shift the blame?
Anywhere but to the commander and his decaying brain!
And now country and the world will never be the saaaaammmeee!!
Shave and a haircut, two bits!
I started 2025 in Washington Heights, NYC.
Bear was still with us.
I had decided I was going to move to Cleveland after 41 years in New York. I had a whole identity wrapped up in it, people knew me for me skyline photos taken from my balcony on the 17th floor. But I couldn't afford New York anymore and it was killing me. I LOVE that city with my whole heart but I had to leave.
I found an amazing place to land. Cleveland specifically.
A friend helped me to see how amazing of a place it was, spending time here on a couple of visits confirmed it.
I went through the absolute hell of what it is like to move from one state to another. I had the help of amazing friends, I couldn't have done it it without them.
And I found my place.
I fell in love with my new hometown.
I have been in Cleveland for 6 months and moving here was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
My life here is just getting started and it has already been amazing.
I am REALLY looking forward to the next year.
Happy New Year all. Going to bed. Thanks for your snark and wit this year!