No Boring Tuna, No Boring Life! Tabs, Mon., Nov. 24, 2025

Morning news roundup! Things to read!

Gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Happy Monday, what a weekend!

Friday afternoon, President Donald. J. Trump and New York Mayor-elect shocked the world with their unexpected mutual love-fest, and Trump posted a whole gallery of pictures. More than he’s posted of himself with Barron during the kid’s entire life!

Guess like the abusive husband Trump has been accused of being, when insults and threats didn’t keep his control over voters and the House, he pivoted to sweetness and charm.

And how extra-embarrassing for the 86 Democratic members of the House who ridiculously, symbolically voted to condemn “socialism” before Mamdani arrived at the White House. Sounds like a certain 86 could use a primaryin’ on account of stupid! (Newsweek)

By Sunday, mellow and cheery uncle Trump was gone, and he was back to bleating and re-Truthing about Democrats being “traitorous sons of bitches,” and QAnon memes.

Quiet, Piggy! At least he’s stepped back from HANG THEM?

And Marjorie Taylor Greene announced she is resigning from the House of Representatives, a year before her term is up, due to the threats she’s been getting after the Peace President called her a TRAITOR and raged at her for refusing to support his Epstein pedo coverup. After she spent years campaigning for him! Defended him when nobody else would! Left her father having brain surgery to go be by Trump’s side! What do you know, loyalty has never been a two-way street with that guy, and the violent threats were never coming from the Democrats and/or the Jewish Space Lasers. (The Independent)

And Trump has been demanding that US ally Ukraine should accept Russia’s “peace plan” by Thursday (drafted by Russia, with help from Jared Kushner!) which includes ceding territory to Russia, reducing the size of the Ukrainian army and barring the presence of any NATO troops in Ukraine ever, and no guaranteed return of the 20,000 kidnapped Ukrainian children. And Trump sneered that Ukrainian president Zelenskyy can either agree or “fight his little heart out” without US support. As was always Trump/Putin’s plan. And Trump has made the US point person between Kyiv and Moscow a 30-something banker with zero experience beyond being pals with JD Vance in law school. (Washington Post gift link / The Guardian / Reuters)

Oh no, did DOJ lawyers lie to a judge again? In November, lawyers told Judge Paula Xinis that Costa Rica would not accept Kilmar Abrego García, and Liberia was the only country that would. But Costa Rica’s Security Minister, Mario Zamora Cordero, told the Washington Post that he’d told the lawyers that Costa Rica would accept on humanitarian grounds and provide him legal residency there, all the way back in August. Huh. (Washington Post gift link)

Politico’s got the inside story of what happened to the DOGE boys after Elon Musk and Trump got into a fight in June. Short version: “Guys, seriously, get your own lawyer if you need it. Elon’s great, but you need to watch your own back.” Oh, no shit? (Politico)

Or save up for pardon money. Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl — those two dipshit fraudsters and attention whores convicted of robocalling 85,000 voters in blue areas with lies like mail-in voting puts people on a list to get tracked down by The Man for mandatory vaccines — are now pardon lobbyists. And their services will set you back about a million clams! Better skip the avocado toasts and switch to generic muscle milk, boys. (Washington Post gift link)

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s HHS has cut off hundreds of research grants and clinical trials, cutting off a lifeline for people with cancer, including his own cousin, Tatiana Schlossberg, who is dying of leukemia. (New Yorker archive link)

Seems like it should be a big deal that US Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee had a meeting with convicted spy Johnathan Pollard and didn’t tell anybody in government about it. (NBC)

Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes is preparing to ask the state’s Supreme Court to let her revive the election-subversion case against Trump’s 2020 allies, which has been on hold. 👀 (Politico)

Mark Zuckerberg’s Instagram has been feeding antisemitic and pro-Nazi content to millions of middle-schoolers, paying creators for the clicks they get, and ignoring when it gets reported, yike. Probably you should keep your kids and yourself off of there! (Fortune archive link)

Elon Musk’s X rolled out a new feature showing the location of accounts, and WHERPS, dozens of MAGA accounts are not in America at all, but based in places like Russia, Eastern Europe, India, Nigeria and Bangladesh. You can click on the calendar icon on a profile to see! (Daily Beast archive link)

Maybe somebody government-y should look into Jeffrey Epstein’s accountant and lawyer who allegedly made millions helping him traffic women and do immigration fraud? (WSJ gift link)

A Kavanaugh stop led to a US citizen and 17-year-old boy being kidnapped during his high school lunch break and detained for seven hours in an ICE facility in Oregon. (Guardian)

Sec. Transportation Sean Duffy has a solution to the air traffic controller shortage ahead of holiday travel. Dress up and smile! Women just love it when you tell them that.

The Slap-Chop / ShamWow guy is running for a seat in the US House. As a Republican, of course. His YouTube is full of racist humor videos, so those two things qualify him right there! (Texas GOP)

“Chicago-Brewed ‘Da Pope’ Beer Now In Pope Leo’s Fridge, Thanks To Gov. Pritzker” (Block Club Chicago)

Stop having a boring tuna! Stop having a boring life!

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