And Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled 'Rudy Giuliani Is A Slobbering Old Pervert'
Trigger warning for BLAAAAAAAAAAAARGH WHOLE POST.
Earlier today, Wonkette had a story about Rudy Giuliani sloshing around the television last evening, crying and moaning that Special Counsel Jack Smith is taking Donald Trump’s free speech by indicting him for a conspiracy to overthrow the government. (The indictment says in paragraph four that it’s not about free speech. Also Roodles the Wondercuck is in the indictment, as co-conspirator #1.)
But let’s get back to how Rudy is a leaky disgusting old pervert.
Nudy Rudy was sued in May by his former assistant Noelle Dunphy, who laid out just the most disgusting allegations about him, none of which surprised us in the fucking least. "Giuliani demeaned and sexualized Margaret Thatcher and wondered about the effect she would have on his penis." That was a line from it.
But that’s just scratching the surface. He allegedly hired her, didn’t pay her, pressured her for sex, demanded she work naked, exposed himself, forced her to perform oral sex on him, said disgusting sexist and racist things, was just generally a drunk, and so much more. It is a filthy read.
That said, it was also interesting because Dunphy apparently has 23,000 of his personal emails, PLUS a gabillion recordings, which were all on the up-and-up because she had his permission to record him.
Which brings us to this quote:
“Come here, big tits,” Giuliani says on one occasion, according to the transcript. “Come here, big tits. Your tits belong to me. Give them to me [indiscernable]. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. These are my tits.”
Stitch that on a pillow! I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. These are my tits.
Rudy giuliani, everyone.
Some of the quotes we’re about to show you, which Rolling Stone published based on a new filing in the case, were already in the lawsuit. What’s changed is that these are transcripts of audio files now. Yes, the gabillions of recordings are coming out.
RS reports:
Giuliani denied everything, smearing Dunphy and asking the court to strike portions of the lawsuit and sanction her and her lawyer. Dunphy and her lawyer responded on Monday by asking for Giuliani and his lawyer to be sanctioned. They included audio transcripts of Giuliani saying exactly the kind of things he denied saying, and folks … it’s not great.
To say the least.
“Jewish men have small cocks because they can’t use them after they get married,” Giuliani said, according to the transcript. “Whereas the Italian use them all their lives so they get bigger.”
In the lawsuit, it only said he had “implied that their penises were inferior due to ‘natural selection.’ " His explication of how Jewish cocks become smaller vis-à-vis Italian cocks comes just after.
Giuliani railed against how Jewish people “want to go through that freaking Passover all the time” and how they should “get over the Passover” because it was 3,000 years ago. “OK, the Red Sea parted,” the transcript reads. “Big deal. Not the first time that happened.”
Yeah that was in the lawsuit. But lordy, she filed the transcripts of the TAPES.
But wait, how many times does he think the Red Sea has parted? Times? Dates? Please advise.
“Matt Damon is a fag,” Giuliani replies. “Matt Damon is also 5’2″, eyes are blue. Coochi-coochie-coochie-coo.”
OK what? No really, what?
Also Matt Damon, according to the internet, is 5’10”. We have no idea how tall Rudy Giuliani is because we don’t think he’s been physically capable of standing up straight for several decades.
And of course there was more to the “I want to claim my tits” soliloquy.
Seth Hettena from Rolling Stone tweeted this screengrab. It is so gross.
Notice how he gets more threatening at the end.
In response to Rolling Stone publishing this stuff, Giuliani’s spox said some truly laughable shit about how Rudy Giuliani “comforted the nation following September 11th,” as if that even will be in the last paragraph of his obituary at this point.
Pretty sure “Co-conspirator #1” will be way higher.
And perhaps the results of those little disbarment proceedings that have been going on.
And whatever other embarrassing shit comes out about him.
Oh well, thoughts and prayers and warmest regards.
OPEN THREAD.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission.
Maybe stories with trigger warnings about sexual abuse shouldn't be OT.
I am not going to hang out here tonight, no fun the repeating of grossness from the story and the jokes I'm just not finding funny with the topic at hand. Later guys.