Brian Kilmeade Boned All The Biden Impeachment Conspiracy Theories On Live TV, Whoops, That's A Wrap!
Don't interview the guy who was there on live TV, BRIAN.
Recap!
Know how the entire Republican-led fake “impeachment” against Joe Biden is predicated on Russian spy farts peddled by the likes of Rudy Giuliani, full of easily debunked lies about then-Vice President Joe Biden corruptly ordering the firing of a Ukrainian prosecutor named Viktor Shokin in 2015 and 2016 — and holding up a $1 billion aid package for Ukraine while he tapped his foot waiting — because that prosecutor was looking into corruption at energy company Burisma, where Hunter Biden sat on the board? And how the actual truth was the 100 percent opposite? That Shokin was fired because he wasn’t going after corruption, and his firing was the policy desire of literally the entire western world?
If you do not know these things, BRUSH UP, because we cannot dang type it every time.
Fox News and its trusty dipshit Brian Kilmeade absolutely decimated that Russo-Republican conspiracy theory this weekend on his show “One Nation,” where he interviewed former Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko, who calmly and clearly explained that Shokin was a “crazy person” and good Lord, what kind of idiot listens to that guy?
It was really good when Poroshenko said there’s “something wrong with him,” regarding Shokin, but there was so much more. It all starts toward the end of the very short interview:
“First of all, this is the completely crazy person,” said Poroshenko in Ukrainian-accented English, after Kilmeade played a clip of Shokin saying crazy things about Joe Biden, which is the thing that gives Republicans orgasms these days.
“And this is something wrong with him,” Poroshenko continued.
“Second, there is no one single word of truth.” OK.
“And third I HATE THE IDEA to make any comments and to make ANY INTERVENTION in American elections,” Poroshenko finished.
Yeah, we can see how Ukrainians might be a bit tired of being asked/extorted/bullied into doing that, considering what Donald Trump has done to them in the very recent past.
“We have very much enjoyed bipartisan support, and please do not use such person like Shokin to undermine the trust between, bipartisan support in Ukraine.”
It’s almost like his country is currently getting pummeled by Russia and he’s begging Americans to focus.
Kilmeade didn’t get the message because he eats Play-Doh.
“What do you mean, he’s not your friend?”
“I don’t see him maybe four years or something, at all,” responded Poroshenko. “And hate the idea to have him, because he played very dirty game, unfortunately.”
Wait, Shokin didn’t get fired by dirty Joe Biden for dirty Biden reasons? Brian Kilmeade heard he was fired for dirty Biden reasons! So he kept asking. And Poroshenko kept saying no.
“Okay, so that is not true,” said Kilmeade. “He didn’t get fired because of Joe Biden.”
No, Brian. Just no.
Nobody who isn’t batshit and/or a Russian spy and/or a Russian spy’s dumbest American mark ever thought this is what happened.
But to underline what Kilmeade just did here, Poroshenko was the guy in the room. Fox News and Brian Kilmeade shouldn’t have been such idiots that they asked the guy in the room who actually carried out the firing about the Russo-Republican spy conspiracy theories about Joe Biden that Rudy Giuliani huffs off the tops of turds during his Eastern European study-abroad benders.
If you’re trying to preserve the plausibility of the Biden conspiracy theories House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer goes on Fox incessantly to babble about, upon which Republicans are predicating their thumbs-up-asses “impeachment” of Joe Biden, then hot tip, it is best not to interview the actual players involved on live American television.
Don’t put faces to names like “Petro Poroshenko.” Don’t let them come on your TV and say LOL, the fuck you lunatics talking about?
But Brian Kilmeade did that.
Have fun with your first big impeachment hearing this week, James Comer and Oversight Committee Republicans!
We are sure Democrats will go easy on you, or maybe they won’t.
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"Brian, you ignorant slut..."
Fox News Apologizes for “Regrettable Flirtation with Accuracy”
By Andy Borowitz
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In a statement on behalf of Fox News Channel, Rupert Murdoch apologized for what he called the network’s “regrettable flirtation with accuracy” in its programming on Monday night.
In his apology, which was strikingly heartfelt and anguished, Murdoch criticized the Fox personality Bret Baier for “disseminating information that was recklessly and unforgivably true.”
"As long as I live and breathe, this will not stand,” he said.
Murdoch implored Fox’s viewers to ignore “this embarrassing incident” and instead focus on the network’s “long-standing record of gaslighting and mendacity.”
Hoping to earn back its viewers’ trust tonight, Fox will air a three-hour special, “Crime of the Century: Joe Biden’s Fifteen Hundred Boxes in Chinatown.”