CNN Doc Says Donald Trump Sleepy Dementia Idiot, And White House Is MAAAAAAD
Not the good doctor's EXACT words.
Did you all hear? Donald Trump went to the doctor again for the 507th time this year, just to be told again how perfect and virile and sexually impressive he is. At Walter Reed! That’s what they say!
See? That’s what they say!
Whaddya bet they gave him another dementia test, whether or not he demanded it, which we are are sure he did? And whaddya bet he identified “cow” perfectly on the first or at least fourth try? Because what is Donald Trump? Not dumb, if that’s what you are asking!
Here is Trump explaining this weekend that he just found out “dumb” has a “b” in it.
“Most people don’t know” there is a “B” in dumb. This is Trump’s universal tell for when he learns something brand new and it blows his mind.
So with that background out of the way, we can discuss the fact that a doctor on CNN has assessed that Trump has “somnolence,” by which he means that Trump cannot stop falling asleep. Based on our medical understanding, we think this means Trump is at least half-dead, if not more.
Dr. Jonathan Reiner said that Americans need to understand if Trump is capable of doing his job, considering how he is always ZZZZZZZZZZZ. He wants to know why Trump has all those disgusting, sickening bruises all over his hands. Pretty sure we all need to know why “cankles.”
And he said:
“The president has severe daytime somnolence,” he said. “He falls asleep very often. He’s fallen asleep in the Oval Office on multiple occasions with people talking to him in the cabinet room, and there was concern yesterday that he might have fallen asleep at Arlington National Cemetery during Memorial Day observances.”
Sounds pretty hopeless!
Prefer a non-Substack subscription? The button below will take any amount of your choosing at Paypal — let me know if you want the newsletter subscription too! they’re separate! — or we have a Patreon too.
Reiner also said:
Reiner added that with daytime somnolence comes an increased risk of dementia and heart attacks, lowered cognitive function, and a decline in mental faculties.
“It’s a real problem,” he said. “And the president appears to struggle to stay awake during the day. And I’d like to hear what the White House has done to evaluate- why the president has this increased daytime somnolence and what they’re doing to improve that.”
Increased risk of dementia, lowered cognitive function and mental decline? Now that sounds like the current president of the USA! Could it be because he spends all night every night on his golden toilet reposting racist and Nazi and other AI memes? If he stopped doing that, could he get his brain back to 2016 levels, bearing in mind of course that Donald Trump is the stupidest person who ever fell out of God’s back hole after God ate late night McDonald’s, so we might not be able to tell the difference?
So many questions.
And how triggered is the White House by this CNN report about Donald Trump’s obviously lacking mental faculties and propensity for dropping dead every few minutes, only to fart/shit himself awake moments later?
Very, very triggered.
They think they are being clever and replying with zingers by posting screengrabs of CNN hosts blinking or just looking down, in order to accuse them of sleeping. Also hosts from The View. You know, as if we have never watched Trump on live TV falling asleep and dreaming of doing whatever he did to kids in the Epstein Files, if we had to guess.
In this one they own-goal themselves by actually referring to Trump’s constant dementia tests, which are only given to people whose brains the doctors are extremely worried about, the ones where Trump is always bragging that he identified “camel” correctly.
Well golly, those were some pretty good zingers, and the people who run that account are definitely going to have relationships with their children when they get older.
In summary and in conclusion, ever heard all those rumors of how Donald Trump smells like he produces human shit in his pants all the time? Incontinence is another sign of being so old you’re basically dead.
The end.
[Mediaite]
Want to read more Evan than just what’s at Wonkette? Visit The Moral High Ground and subscribe to it!
Follow me on Instagram!
And on BlueSky!
And on Facebook!
















I am going to get so drunk the day it happens
That's the lamest fucking thing I've ever seen and I've been looking at these idiots for a dozen years. Plus, I live in Ohio.