Couches McButthair Has Warning For People Who Want To Come To World Cup
So does Trump. And Wonkette has a recommendation.
It’s 2025. It’s time to start saying it WAY loud: The World Cup matches scheduled to happen in the United States next year should not happen, at least not in this country, which no longer deserves to host them. They should be moved to Canada or Mexico, and Donald Trump and JD Vance can go fuck three dolls and a couch if they don’t like it.
Both the president and vice president underscored yesterday just how unwelcome the good people of the world are in this country under their leadership, and made even clearer that no quality human being should feel safe coming or going from the United States.
(As if all the horror stories of innocent people trying to visit, or leave, or study in this country, being detained and abducted and thrown in garbage totalitarian ICE prisons, as if all that wasn’t a good indicator already of how we’ve fully opted out of the community of decent nations.)
Trump announced yesterday that for some reason Rudy Giuliani’s broke-faced creeper loser son would be chairing his task force on the 2026 World Cup. Why does he need a task force? And why is Fuckface Giuliani the best choice to chair it? Um, well, um, hmm.
Maybe somehow Borat will be involved and they will need somebody to show the World Cup their chram? Wait, that’s his dad. Yeah, no idea what dumpy Andrew brings to the table.
Trump fake-tweeted:
Because when we think “fuckable soccer players visiting from around the world,” we think “Ooh, maybe they might like to meet Andrew Giuliani!”
So we guess they had some sort of event at the White House yesterday, while India was bombing Pakistan and Trump was continuing to tank the American economy for all living future generations.
And — you are not going to believe this — JD Vance managed to make it disgusting and awkward and creepy and vile.
Check it out:
Ha ha! That is just JD Vance saying on behalf of Trump’s and Vance’s pigtrash MAGA dictatorship that “everybody is welcome to come and see this incredible event,” and “we want them to come, we want them to celebrate, we want them to watch the game, but when the time is up, they’ll have to go home, otherwise they’ll have to talk to Secretary Noem.”
And that lady murders puppies — her own! — because she’s a vile sicko Nazi who’s going to hell! Ha ha, JD Vance! Good joke!
Don’t all the world’s citizens feel welcome now?
Trump had his own little tinpot dictator Stupid Hitler moment about the World Cup yesterday, as well. He was asked if people who have been part of protests around the world should feel safe coming to and taking part in the World Cup in the US. Or if people were to protest here, should they feel safe? And the answer was no.
He said that if your protest is “reasonable,” you’re fine, but if he and his administration don’t think it’s “reasonable,” you’re “gonna have a big problem.” He said that “Pam” — i.e. Pam Bondi, AG “I Invented Post-Its” Nazi Barbie — will come and get you. The one who’s such a bootlicker she thinks Trump literally saved three-quarters of the country’s population from dying of fentanyl in the last two months.
So we come back to where we started.
The World Cup matches scheduled to happen in the United States next year should not happen, at least not in this country, which doesn’t deserve to host them. They should be moved to Canada or Mexico, and Donald Trump and JD Vance can go fuck three dolls and a couch if they don’t like it.
There is no way to tell the good people of the world that the United States of 2025 or 2026 is a safe place for them to come. And that is heartbreaking and devastating for all those tens of millions of us who are good people, who are kind people, who are welcoming and moral and loving and decent and excited and want to show the world the best of what this country has to offer. It hurts.
The excellent Dave Zirin and Jules Boykoff wrote about this in The Nation a little over a month ago, asking, with ICE completely out of control and unaccountable, how can we possibly in good conscience host the World Cup?
They wrote, “The country has proven itself incapable of not abducting and imprisoning people entering it—boycotting US matches avoids putting teams, their families, and fans in danger.”
They argued that “for the safety of the players, their families, and fans, games scheduled to be played in the United States must be moved to Canada and Mexico, and every qualifying country should say that they will boycott the World Cup if they aren’t.”
They noted how fucked up it is that Trump’s task force on the World Cup is part of Kristi Noem’s DHS.
And they handled some of the objections about other autocratic nations that have hosted the World Cup, placing the United States under Trump and Vance actually beneath some of those nations when it comes to these pigfucks knowing how to act whilst hosting a goddamned international event:
Given that ICE is being used as a masked abduction force, and given “border czar” Tom Homan’s contempt for the courts, it is unconscionable to encourage people to visit this country. Some respond to this blithely by pointing out that FIFA stages the World Cup in autocratic countries all the time. But saying, “What about Russia, what about Qatar?” elides the fact that—however brutal these countries were to their workers, and however repressive they were toward their citizens—players, coaches, and tourists were treated like VIPs, afforded the privilege of ignoring the conditions of the host country, and allowed to focus on soccer. In Russia and Qatar, World Cup tickets were tantamount to visas. That will most assuredly not be the case under Trump.
Literally those countries knew how to conduct themselves. The United States under Trump will not.
Did we mention that it’s time to start having this conversation about the Los Angeles Olympics too?
Because it’s time to start having this conversation about the Los Angeles Olympics too.
Do not normalize this shit. That’s it, that’s the grand conclusion, do not normalize this shit. It’s not OK, and it’s not normal.
And until further notice, this country does not deserve to have nice things like the World Cup or the Olympics.
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Honestly, y'all, these motherfuckers have got me using the word "fuck" in a sentence so often, it might as well be a comma.
Holy. Fuck. Yes. Do not come here, even for touristic reasons. And I know this is going to destroy my local economy.
And I see Pope Slayer is doing more of his crack international relations work. With all the trouble in the world nowadays it sure would be nice if there were a diplomatic corps. Instead we have three Nazis in a trenchcoat, and one of the Nazis has a merkin stapled to his stupid fucking face.