Dear Sh*tferbrains: In Which We Hear From A Dissatisfied Reader
OK, the headline is now longer than the complaint email. Oh, so's this subhed!
Not everyone is a fan. Not everybody has to be a fan!
To wit, this very succinct missive in response to Wonkette’s emailed version of Evan’s story about Donald Trump, from one “R___ Msshbitz” although we suspect that may not be his real name. Apologies in advance to any members of the Msshbitz family we may have accidentally doxxed.
Here is the message, in full:
Your news letter is Bull sh--it won't last long.
That’s fine, Mr. Msshbitz! Opinions are like red baseball caps worn to political rallies: Cheaply constructed and sent from China.
All replies to our various and sundry newsletters go to Rebecca’s mailbox, and you know she can never just not reply. So she pointed out that lol ACTUALLY our “newsletter” has been around for literally 20 years — among the very oldest politics-focused websites on Al Gore’s Internet. This coming January, Wonkette will be old enough to drink! And then, to show that she is a classy bitch, Rebecca thanked him for his concern.
But we do have to wonder why someone who can’t stand Yr Wonkette would sign up to receive our newsletters. Maybe a mean prankster did it. You should take this opportunity to forward Wonkette to a friend!
Yr Wonkette is funded entirely by reader donations. If you can, please become a paid subscriber, or if you want to send a one-time donation, here’s that button too. You can call it bullshit too if you’d like.
If there's one thing I love more than getting a letter from Mssr. Msshbitz, it's getting a self-refuting letter from Mssr. Msshbitz.
Also, I think that Wonkette turning 20 last January explains a lot. No one would hire me unless the dorm threw a kegger and Kenneth brought jello shots and Abigail said that she'd do one if Wonkette did one, but then Wonkette got handed another and was kinda shy about saying that they were only 20 and besides they had a French Lit essay due Tuesday and there was still a lot of work to do on that, so they took it in their hand and then couldn't really find a place to put it down and then got bumped so some of the jello got on her dress and so she did that jello shot too, just to get rid of it, then licked her fingers and by the time she was licking her fingers it tasted kind of good but then when someone asked if she wanted another shot, she said no, and she thought that would be it, but then because she didn't want the shot, someone handed Wonkette a gimlet and the lime juice was kinda good, actually, certainly better than the jello, and then it's not entirely clear what happened after that, but when she woke up in the morning there was an alert on her phone with me accepting the job offer and she didn't know what she should say and she had a headache and GOD Ruth also wanted her to call back about something, probably the student newspaper editorial thing, even though she hadn't really promised she'd do it and things got so crazy and before she could even take anything for her headache I turned in that first story and what was she going to do, not publish it when she had been too drunk to ask someone else to write anything and there was going to be a hole in the publication schedule and so she was just like, "whatever, sure you're hired, great story I guess," and that's pretty much just how it happened, but what do you expect from a publication that's 20 years old and trying to show out for her J-school app?
If I ever do drag again, I'm going with a transsexual Victor/Victoria genderfuck theme and using the name "Sassy Sachet."