Dipsh*t Ed Martin Says DC Bar Can’t Punish Him, Because He Is The President
Only exaggerating the TINIEST tiny.
About a month ago, Wonkette told you the story of the latest Trump idiot/moron/mouthbreather/paste-eater dipshit lawyers to get in trouble with the bar for their conduct in defense of criminal tyrant Donald Trump. There was former acting US attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia Lindsey Halligan, who keeps handing judges hearts cut out of construction paper that say “Best US Attorney EVARRR” and wonders why they and her local bar association don’t accept that as valid. Probably Trump Derangement Syndrome.
And then there is the real Captain von Dipshit himself, Ed Martin, the former “pardons czar,” former acting US attorney for DC (actually dumber than Pirro, amazingly), former weaponization czar (LOL), and current possessor of the most embarrassing case of Stupid Republican Man Face that orbits around Donald Trump’s asshole.
Martin is in trouble with the DC Bar for a little stunt he pulled last year where he wrote one of his trademark little bitchy boy letters to Georgetown University — this is when he was acting US attorney — accusing them of doing aggravated DEIs, failing to explain how they were doing aggravated DEIs, declaring he was going to go ahead and sanction them, and that he would be denying outright any applicant to any of DOJ’s “prestigious” — HAHAHAHAHAHAHA not anymore, MAGA fuckholes! — programs for law students.
To which Georgetown replied ACTUALLY you cannot tell Georgetown what to teach, and ACTUALLY it is a violation of students’ constitutional rights to discriminate against them on the basis of “Georgetown.” The lawyer leading the investigation on behalf of the DC Bar explained that Martin violated the First and Fifth Amendments of the Constitution, and that he “knew or should have known that.” Which was a funny way of implying/saying explicitly that he’s stupid.
Oh yes, then he tried to obstruct the investigation into this, the complaint said.
Well, Mister Ed has replied, and wouldn’t you know it, he says you can’t sanction or punish him for being a bad, unethical, stupid lawyer, for he is the president of the United States.
We are only exaggerating a tiny for comedic effect. A tiny.
Democracy Docket brings us this bonkerfuck filing from Martin where he claims that the DC Bar is not allowed to punish him, because “executive privilege.” This is his lawyerly argument to the DC Disciplinary Counsel, which he believes is good and true. He is being sincere here. (Note: The DC Disciplinary Counsel is not actually part of the DC Bar. This will become important information for lay readers in about three paragraphs.)
Democracy Docket summarizes, its mouth agape:
Martin’s astounding arguments appear to claim that the president and federal attorneys are indistinguishable and that any attempt to hold Department of Justice (DOJ) officials accountable for misconduct amounts to an unconstitutional attack on the president’s authority.
Can’t punish people who commit crimes/do fraud/violate all manner of ethics rules for Donald Trump, because Donald Trump is Supreme Leader Of America, and they are he, and he is they! All those people who went to jail/lost their law licenses, etc. for their actions on behalf of Richard Nixon and other presidents? Sent there by WOKE, probably.
The filing is 98 PAGES, so you’ll forgive us if we cheat off Democracy Docket, a real lawyer.
They note that one of Martin’s “defenses” is that Hamilton Fox, the lawyer in charge of DC’s Office of Disciplinary Counsel, is not allowed to investigate Martin, because Martin was investigating him first.
You see, while Martin was angrily scratching his butthole in the direction of Georgetown, he also apparently sent Hamilton Fox a huffy bitchy letter inquiring into the DC Bar’s disciplinary process. Democracy Docket says this appears to be in reference to earlier efforts to scrutinize the behavior of notable bugfuck lunatic Jeffrey Clark, who worked so hard to try to help Donald Trump overturn the 2020 election and overthrow the American government.
“However, there was one glaring issue” with that letter, says Democracy Docket, and also with this new filing written by Ed Martin’s lawyer, which is that Hamilton Fox does not actually work for the DC Bar. (As had previously been explained to Ed Martin by Hamilton Fox in response to his earlier huffy bitchy: “You appear to be under the impression that the Office of Disciplinary Counsel is a part of the D.C. Bar. We are not; we are an arm of the District of Columbia Court of Appeals.”)
In essence, Hamilton Fox’s office handles these investigations for the DC Bar, but he is not the actual DC Bar. You may be confused, if you are not a DC lawyer or versed in how these things work! However Ed Martin and Ed Martin’s lawyer should not be confused by this, because it is literally part of their job to understand.
Anyway, the whole thing is one big whine about how poor Ed Martin is being discriminated against and Ed Martin is a victim of the weaponization of the blah blah blah blah, because everything is projection with these MAGA pus-bubbling flesh wounds.
Ed Martin wants the case against him moved to federal court, because “Constitution” and “executive privilege” and because he, Ed Martin, is basically indistinguishable from the president.
These charges […] infringe on federal supremacy and separation of powers in that the operation of the national government and the President’s exercise of his authorities under the Take Care Clause through his U.S. Attorneys cannot be interfered with or hobbled by harassing and pretextual enforcement actions by a politically hostile municipal Disciplinary Counsel who derives his power from the District of Columbia Court of Appeals.
Harassing! Pretextual! Politically hostile! If you discipline one of the president’s little taint-polishers, you discipline the president himself!
In addition, the President of the United States is the client of all attorneys appointed pursuant to the President’s Article II authority, and every executive branch attorney is bound by the President’s decisions concerning the objectives of the representation defined by their respective appointments. The District of Columbia is barred by separation of powers and federal supremacy from review of actions taken by a U.S. Attorney seeking to execute the President’s enforcement priorities.
And the president’s enforcement priority that day was that Ed Martin should send a little huffy bitchy letter where he tried to slap the dick out of Georgetown’s mouth in the name of going after “DEI.”
It should be noted, of course, that neither Hamilton nor Georgetown has ever tried to slap Donald Trump’s dick out of Ed Martin’s mouth, no matter how much these dipshits whine about political persecution.
Democracy Docket notes that the filing continues to babble with 40 defenses, 40 reasons why it is illegal to investigate Ed Martin. One of them is a violation of the DC Human Rights Act, because why wouldn’t it be? “Respondent is being discriminated against in violation of D.C. Human Rights Act, § 2-1401.01, on account of his political affiliation and beliefs,” it argues, seriously.
Besides all the horseshit about executive privilege and how Donald Trump is literally God and Jesus and the once-and-future emperor of all of the Americas, other defenses use words and phrases like “political in nature” and “selective prosecution” and “retaliate” and “weaponization” and yeah, you guessed it, just more of the same bellyaching projection from these lawless fascist oafs.
The Trump regime is doing this war on bar associations, quite obviously, because people who commit crimes/do fraud/violate ethics for criminal dementia Hitler presidents very often lose their law licenses for doing so. Hey-o, Roodles the Poodle Giuliani! Also, remember how Roy Cohn died and started burning in hell after being disbarred? That wasn’t for what Cohn did for Nixon, but do remember that Roy Cohn taught Trump everything he knows about how to fight, and Cohn died in a state of humiliation.
Donald Trump, when he dies, will also die in a state of humiliation. There’s no question of that. And so will his many minions, whose only “accomplishments” in life will be the embarrassing/criminal/sick/stupid shit they did for Trump. Of course, that’s on the extremely off chance Ed Martin is remembered by anyone once he bites it.
But that’s what they’re so desperately trying to stave off.
Fucking losers.
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