Don't Worry, The Worst People In The World Are Here To Spread Hantavirus Conspiracies And Shill Ivermectin
Also, MTG is back to her kooky old self.
We’re just about a week into the Hantavirus cruise ship news cycle, and people are already freaking out. No, not people who are legitimately worried that there will be another pandemic that could kill millions of people, but people who are worried that there will be another pandemic in which they will be asked to stay home, wash their hands, wear masks, and take a vaccine. That, you see, is a far scarier prospect for people who don’t really give a shit about saving other people’s lives.
Or even their own!
Yes, it’s true. MAGA conspiracy theorists are already out here on these streets making it clear that they will not be “complying” with any rules designed to keep a virus from spreading, even if it kills them, which they seem to believe is some kind of incredible, heroic act.
Of course, given the fact that the virus kills 30-60 percent of those infected within a week, that might not be a problem we have to deal with for very long.
Now, you would think that in the years since the lockdown these folks would have been able to settle on a narrative or at least some kind of unified theory of what it is they think happened at that time. The only things they seem to agree on is that they were lied to for some nefarious purpose, that masking, lockdowns, and social distancing were unnecessary, and that the vaccines have killed more people than COVID did. Do they know any of those people? Not so much! But many believe that whenever an obituary does not mention cause of death or says the person “died suddenly” this is code for “died because of the COVID vaccine.”
Anyway, they are prepared for everything this time and we will not fool them again, no matter how many hypothetical people have to die in the process.
They also want us to know that if they do die, we brought this on ourselves.
Well, not nobody. Just them.
But maybe that was our evil plan all along?
One of the more popular theories is that hantavirus is … a side effect of the COVID vaccine.
Incredibly enough, this is not, in fact, even remotely true. The list is real, but it’s literally just a list of any illness or health issue reported by someone after they had the vaccine, whether it is related or not. Also on the list? Herpes. All of the herpes. The entire last third of the list is just herpes. This is not actually surprising, as at least two-thirds of the population have some form of herpes, so, just statistically, it would stand to reason that a few people would contract some form or be diagnosed with it after getting vaccinated. That doesn’t mean that “herpes” is a side effect of the COVID vaccine. OR IS IT? (It is not.)
None of this is to say that these folks are not prepared for a real pandemic. In fact, some of them are already loading up on Ivermectin.
Even Marjorie Taylor Greene took a break from her recent bout of sanity to promote Ivermectin, among other things that probably won’t help too much.
That Mary Talley Bowden lady, by the way, is currently entrenched in a battle with the Texas Medical Board for having tried to administer Ivermectin to a COVID-19 patient at a hospital where she did not have admitting privileges. She’s also getting ready to sell Ivermectin to Texans (it can be bought over the counter there), because grifters gonna grift.
It should be noted, by the way, that a hell of a lot of people who, as described by MTG, refused to “lockdown, mask up, and get vaxxed took the good ole horse paste and also developed natural immunity” died. Like, a whole lot of them.
Oh, and that trying to get “natural immunity” for a virus with a 30-60 percent chance of killing you is probably a bad idea. Unless that’s just what they want you to think!
Well sure, Ivermectin cures everything! Every virus on earth? Ivermectin. Cancer? Ivermectin. Hangnail? Ivermectin. And I just honestly really love that these people think that scientists can come up with this amazing dewormer that cures everything that ails them and without any side effects (except for the side effects it does have).
What I find most impressive about this is that these people think scientists were skilled enough to make a “miracle drug” like Ivermectin, which they believe cures literally everything, but are not skilled enough to make a safe vaccine.
But if the Ivermectin isn’t enough for you, you can always just take up smoking.
Soooooooooooooooooo. Um. If you have rabies, Ivermectin is very much not going to help you. Rabies is 100 percent fatal in humans who do not get the PEP vaccine before symptoms appear. Though I suppose, in that case, you may as well light up anyway.
And just because I know you’re thinking it now — yes, in 2021 there were, in fact, three documented cases of anti-vaxxers dying after refusing the rabies vaccine. I’d be shocked if I didn’t remember that one guy who turned down a heart transplant rather than take the vaccine, because of how he thought it would give him heart issues.
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So far it seems as though we don’t actually have anything to fear from hantavirus, but it’s not especially comforting to know that we still share a country with a whole lot of lunatics who actually are so stupid that they would rather die than take a lifesaving vaccine. People who are confusingly, weirdly convinced that millions of people died from the COVID vaccine despite the fact that, you know, that very much did not happen. I mean, there was a point when we could have blamed some of it on some kind of temporary lockdown-related insanity, but it’s six goddamn years later and they are still sticking to their story.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
"If they say wear masks I'll deliberately breathe on everyone wearing one."
Then i would have to carry a squirt gun filled with water, squirt them right in the mouth and yell, HA you've been vaccinated!
And i know you guys are thinking of all kinds of awful stuff to put in the squirt gun instead, but why go to all that unnecessary bullshit when you just tell them, just kidding it was water, do you think they will believe you?
Fuck with their heads while committing no crime.
No love for Hydroxychloroquine. Wingnuts are so fickle.