Everybody Hates JD Vance And His Stupid Butthair Face
Least popular running mate in the history of all human beings?
What have we been saying?
That JD Vance is an unlikeable pile of human butthair and mendacity, a fundamentally unrelatable, off-putting, and repellent man who’s likely to bring nothing to the Trump/Vance ticket? That normal people see him and they’re like “EW MORE LIKE HILLBILLY SMELLEGY”?
That all this data was readily available, and that all one had to do was look at Vance’s 2022 election to the Senate to see that Ohio Republican Governor Mike DeWine ran 10 points ahead of him in his own re-election race, which suggests there’s a whole group of Ohioans who fucking haaaaaaaate that bastard? (Maybe some of these voters from Appalachia! Which JD Vance doesn’t pronounce like an actual person from Appalachia.)
But no, Donald Trump was cocky. Donald Trump was so sure he was headed for a landslide win, so he listened to his idiot fucking sons who begged him to pick Vance. “Dad! Dad!” said Junior, as he tossed a giant pile of human butthair back and forth with Eric in the backyard. “Can we keep it? Can we keep it?” And his father said yes.
Well now we have more data on Trump’s Vance pick. Want to see it?
PREVIOUSLY!
Yesterday on CNN, data guy Harry Enten revealed the surprising truth: Giant piles of human butthair are less popular running mates than all the other running mates that ever lived.
“Frankly, I don’t really understand the pick,” Enten told Erin Burnett on Tuesday’s OutFront. “And apparently, neither do the American voters because we take a look at the net favorable rating for JD Vance. That’s the favorable minus unfavorable. It’s in negative net territory. Look at that. Negative six points.”
Enten says he looked at every election since 1980 and could not find another veep selection with a net negative rating.
“He is the first guy after, immediately following a convention, a VP pick, who actually had a net negative favorable rating that is underwater,” he went on. “The average since 2000 is plus 19 points, JD Vance, making history in the completely wrong way.”
Enten added that vice presidential nominees are “usually very popular” when they are first selected. “But in this case, he’s dragging Trump down.”
No other running mate since 1980 has had a net negative.
We mentioned that Ohio race in 2022, but Enten went one further, noting that Vance was the worst-performing Republican in all of Ohio that year.
Because everybody fucking hates him, because he sucks, because he’s gross.
To explain more fully how bad JD Vance is, here is Kentucky’s Democratic Governor Andy Beshear, who knows something about Appalachia, talking on CNN last night about what a phony Vance is. Beshear is, of course, being mentioned as a finalist for Kamala Harris’s running mate.
“J.D. Vance is a phony, he's fake. I mean, he first says that Donald Trump is like Hitler, and now he's acting like he's Lincoln. The problem with JD Vance is he has no conviction, but I guess his running mate has 34."
Zing, as they say about zingers!
JD Vance may be Trump’s worst business decision ever, and that’s saying a lot, considering how Trump is a really bad businessman.
[Mediaite / video via Kaitlan Collins]
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I hate you because I spent a week trying to find a word that rhymes with elegy and SMELLEGY WAS RIGHT THERE THE WHOLE TIME
I live in Ohio, I coulda told you that Vance has the personality of a diaper rash and everyone hates him. Despite being a Republican, my own brother-in-law wouldn’t vote for Vance. Because he’s THAT off-putting. “Such a douche you can practically smell the vinegar wafting off him,” was how he described him.