FCC Finishes Copy/Pasting Bad Bunny Lyrics Into Google Translate, Says No Violation
Pathetic.
If MAGA was ever winning the culture war, they’re sure losing it now. Latest case in point, their tone-deaf and ongoing histrionic response to that Bad Bunny Super Bowl halftime show, in which MAGA football fans bruised their middle fingers trying to press one for English on their TV remotes. And still, more people approve of Bad Bunny than Donald Trump.
Surely singing in Spanish on national television is not legal! Donald Trump was affronted! GOP Rep. Andy Ogles demanded a “formal congressional inquiry” into the National Football League and NBCUniversal for airing the performance. And sweaty bag of racist fury GOP Rep. Randy Fine of Florida pounded out that there should be PUNISHMENT for Bad Bunny’s vulgar display. Just the attitude to win middle America’s hearts and minds!
Woke garbage? The show was so wholesome there was a literal traditional heterosexual white wedding on the stage. Children being tended to at home by their parents, no daycare! Working people toiling away at traditional jobs like a dancing Richard Scarry illustration! Bad Bunny expressing pride in his American culture! He even said “God Bless America” a half-dozen times.
And as hard as Brendan Carr scours every freeze frame on his 72-inch screen with a magnifying glass trying to find Janet Jackson’s titty like Waldo, the dancers were more covered up than most athletes at the Olympics. After some of the swinging and drifting packages during triple axels and luge runs last weekend we are wondering if perhaps it is not the male athletes who ought to wear the skirts.
As it also happens, the vast majority of migrants in America are Christian. What the fuck is this guy actually on about? I think we all know. It is called racism!
Yet it seems Brendan Carr, czar of the FCC, certified unfuckable, took Fine’s bitchfit seriously. Did you know, the FCC doesn’t actually have an official list of five or seven or whatever dirty words you can’t say on the air? In dozens of live media hits I’ve only once been given a literal list, as a recurring guest on Ed Norris’s liberal foil on his radio show, and probably for good reason, as topics included truck nuts (do liberals want to ban them?), how you can tell what kind of guys a girl is into from her dog, and why Black people can say the N-word and white people can’t.
What’s obscene, indecent or profane can be highly subjective, on the airwaves and in real life. And so Brendan Carr plugged Bad Bunny lyrics into Google translate, and oh my!
Just kidding, that’s Kid Rock. The Bad Bunny lyrics are relatively wholesome! There is a lyric in the song “Safaera” that goes “Si tu novio no te mama el culo,” which translates to “if your boyfriend doesn’t lick your ass,” which Rep. Ogles said was a reference to analingus. And there’s the line “el perico es blanco,” which Fine thought a reference to cocaine. Why, America’s sweetheart Kid Rock would NEVER!
And hey wait, wasn’t MAGA just bitching at the very same time that their problem was they couldn’t understand the lyrics? How did Andy Ogles even hear analingus in Spanish from all of that? And just how many different languages can Randy Fine say cocaine in?
That guy’s sure been on a real tear lately, speaking of.
So, the Super Bowl is over, and the anti-woke lost. Between that and the Epstein Files, they’re having a rough go. MAGA faithful have settled for making Bad Bunny Halftime show shorthand for whatever they’re snarling and whining in the corner about while the rest of America goes off and experiences joy, now weaving it in to some kind of ... Jeffrey Epstein Jewish conspiracy?
Other than being personal friends with Ehud Barak, Epstein hardly embraced his Jewish identity. He disliked Israel and refused to visit, belonged to no temple, and was even trying to get Steve Bannon to get him into the Augusta National Golf club. That guy wasn’t taking moral or spiritual guidance from any-fuckin-body.
But, nice try, MAGA. Time to hang up the truck nuts. Better luck next cultural battle!
Watch the Bad Bunny halftime show again, why not?
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Why didn't they just make Marco Rubio watch it and report back?
This is sorta related. This is a longish excerpt from the episode on Louie, Louie by The Kingsman of Andrew Hickey's excellent podcast "A History of Rock Music in 500 Songs."
Tl;dr: During the recording the drummer yelled out "fuck" at some point. The FBI spent two years investigating the record for secret obscenity and subversion in it and found nothing, not even the blatant obscenity that was actually there.
>>>>>>
The Kingsmen did their best to copy the Rockin’ Robin Roberts version, right down to his shout of “Let’s give it to them right now!” but it was shockingly amateurish. The night before, they’d done a live show which consisted of a single ninety-minute-long performance of “Louie Louie” with no breaks, and Ely’s voice was shot. The mic was positioned too high for him and he had to strain his throat, and his braces were also making him slur the words. At one point early in the song, Easton clicks his drumsticks together by accident, and yells an obscenity loud enough to be captured on the tape:
<snip>
On the FBI website, you can read 119 pages of memos from FBI agents (with various bits blacked out for security reasons), and read about them shipping copies of “Louie Louie” to labs (under special seal, in case they’d be violating laws about transferring obscene material across state lines and breaking the very law they were investigating), listening to the record at 33, 45, and 78 RPM and trying to see if they could make out the lyrics, comparing them to the published words, to the various samizdat versions being shared by kids, and to Berry’s record, and destroying the records after listening. They interviewed members of the Kingsmen and DJs, and they went to Scepter Records to get a copy of the original master tape, which they were surprised to discover was mono so left them no way of isolating the vocals.
<snip>
This went on for two years. At no point does any of these highly trained FBI agents listening over and over to “Louie Louie” at different speeds appear to have heard Lynn Easton’s yelled expletive, which unlike all these other things is actually on the record.