F*CKNANIGANS! Tabs, Tues., Oct. 15, 2024
Morning news roundup!
How will you even live without Evan doing your Tuesday morning tabs? I guess you probably won’t, because I worked yestertoday! Let’s find out!
What did Kamala Harris think about Barack Obama telling young Black men hey better not be doing SEXISTS?
LET’S HAVE A DRINK!
This was an ad for the Wonkette Bazaar.
Pretty sure this sov-cit guy wasn’t actually trying to assassinate Donald Trump at Coachella this weekend, or they wouldn’t have let him go on $5000 bail (which is $500 to the bondsman). (KTLA / The Guardian)
I was all over the comments yesterday scolding you about this story, but yes, the New York Times reporting on things idiots believe is actually good when the New York Times points out each time why they are wrong, which this story did! I know the NYT politics desk is a nightmare, but stop yelling at them when they’re doing it right! Take yes for an answer! (Gift link NYT)
Love this gorgeous blonde hairdresser who’s the only elected Democrat in Granbury, Texas, “elected Democrat” here meaning the chair of the Democratic Party. So that would be zero elected Democrats in Granbury, Texas, in the usual sense of the term. Anyway, she’s great! (Yahoo from LA Times)
Elections officials say they’re moving aggressively to combat certification fucknanigans, so that would be nice and I guess we’ll see! (CNN)
Oh LOL I mean no, the shitty rural internet means Elno can’t track his paid canvassers for Trump. (The Guardian)
Breaking down the goals of the ADF — the Alliance Defending Freedom — and just how much it wants to outlaw birth control, end gay marriage, force trans people into pants or dresses, depending on their birth sex, etc., and just how successfully they’ve been using their judge buddies to do so. (Slate)
Chief Justice John Roberts is riding a real bummer about how the whole country thinks he’s presiding over a hack illegitimate partisan Court. Sad. (Uncharted Blue)
Fox News all like: Christopher Columbus, A JEW? How about go fuck yourself. (Buttondown)
This guy super DUPER happy with his solar and battery. It has been two years since Strawberry Solar in Detroit came out to give me a plan and then never gave me a plan and then stopped returning my calls and emails. Anybody know any other solar people in Detroit? (Streets)
That the Chicago journalists’ fake undercover bar was called “The Mirage” is so perfect. The only other example I can think of is the “Party Down” episode where all the sad deadbeat dads are invited to a concert by “Sting” and “The Police.” (Atlas Obscura)
The Detroit football men were sweet to their coach and made him blush. Also, apparently we were supposed to win a Super Bowl but now our guy is broken :( (Freep)
What’s coming right up? It’s the Wonkette Halloween party for YOU on Sat., Oct. 26, 7 p.m., at our home! Email rebecca at wonkette dot com, email header I AM NOT COMING TO KILL YOU, for our address! Free of course, but donations will be accepted for the Michigan Democrats!
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Talented kittycat in your hed gif today. Source info here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/teach-a-cat-to-fish
And a hair-raising meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/3cda6e82-c6ce-42a0-9951-1d3f0ea78cb6
I've been SOOOOOO paying attention to the John Roberts whining. "Oh, why does everyone think we don't recuse ourselves and take expensive gifts and decide things exactly the way that we would if we thought something was settled law except for the opposite of that? And why does everyone think that it's evidence of perjury when a nominee says something is settled under oath and then reversing it 2 years later? And why would it even be "corrupt" or "impeachable" if we lied under oath? What's up with you hyper-partisans? Why does everyone think this stuff is even bad? WE WERE SO ORIGINALIST IN SAYING PRESIDENTS HAVE IMMUNITY! This is a principled stand of textualist conscience for the good of the nation, don't you see?"
Fuck Chief Oligarch Flunky John Roberts.