If there are two business facts about business in the United States, it is that Fox Business is the most serious business network in the land, and Fox Business anger Fraggle Maria Bartiromo is the most serious business reporter on the most serious business network in the land.
And there has been much business to report! The Dow just surged to a record high, closing yesterday over 43,000 for the first time ever. The S&P 500 hit its own record.
Politico wrote last week that all the economic indicators are that of a “dream economy” — inflation is at its lowest since early 2021, unemployment is low as it can be, wages and GDP are growing robustly, interest rates are going down, and as Rachel Maddow reported last night, many “business-minded” American people are still as raccoon-brained about that as ever, choosing to attribute economic successes to the vibes of Donald Trump, as opposed to the actual economic successes of the Biden/Harris administration. (As we type this, Trump is at the Economic Club of Chicago getting mocked to shreds for not knowing shit about “business” or “economy.”)
But back to Maria Bartiromo, AKA the president of Business Town!
We are certain she has also done her usual excellent reporting on all these business trends, which must be why she had time to complain yesterday about how Kamala Harris got the Vogue cover and Melania Trump didn’t and will never.
What? You don’t think Bartiromo was simply taking a break from her excellent reporting on business to talk about this?
Bartiromo and the rest of the team at Fox Business reported the Vogue business, business-ly:
One of the panel members who is not Maria Bartiromo — name? Not important — set it up, saying Harris is being criticized for doing this Vogue photoshoot with Annie Leibovitz on October 7, and that she’s being criticized for wearing a $3,000 suit and Tiffany earrings. (You’ll be shocked to find some of the primary criticism we found is from the New York Post, another Rupert-Murdoch-owned organ. Murdoch’s various wangs like to cross streams like that.)
They were mad because the headline on the cover called Harris “the candidate for our times.”
Then Maria Bartiromo took over, to analyze it from a business perspective:
“They should be ashamed of themselves that they never put Melania Trump on the cover,” Bartiromo said. “That’s my opinion. And the fact is she was a model, OK, and they refused to put Melania Trump on the cover even when she was first lady. And she was all the talk of the town when they got married. Hillary Clinton was at the wedding. Everybody was toasting Donald and Melania; and suddenly he announces he wants to run for president and then they become the pariah and she’s not allowed on any covers. It’s ridiculous.”
Uh huh.
After that, a third business genius — Tricia McLaughlin? Some asshole former Trump administration official, according to the chyron — took over to explain that the political timing of this Vogue cover was all wrong, asking whether it was smart to be on the cover of a magazine that’s the “beacon of cultural elitism,” hahahahaha, all of these people should go play in traffic, this has been the Wonkette Business Report, the end.
[Mediaite]
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