Fox News Interrupts Its Breaking Drag Queen Scandals To Inform You Kevin McCarthy’s Still Losing

When can Fox News get back to ‘normal’?

Don’t despair. Fox News is actually covering the ongoing House Speaker follies, so your rightwing relatives aren’t just hearing about drag queens gone wild. Wednesday morning, on "Fox & Friends,” a visibly angry Steve Doocy held up a copy of the New York Post with the headline “GROW UP!” He quoted Post writer Michael Goodwin who said Republicans "should stop this madness and go after [Joe] Biden.”

"That’s what you were elected to do!" Doocy insisted. No, Republicans were elected to govern by voters gullible enough to believe Republicans actually cared about inflation, high gas prices, the border crisis, or anything that remotely matters to people.

“It’s making Republicans look ridiculous,” lamented co-host Ainsley Earhardt, Miss Ridiculous 2004. Her network elevated these losers. This is on all of them.

Earhardt thought it was “ridiculous" — that word again — for 20 Republicans to believe they can change the minds of 200 so they should just give up and settle for McCarthy. She seems to think members of the Treason Caucus that supported overturning a presidential election would now suddenly embrace democracy. She’s not a smart person.

In a blatantly cynical move, Rep. Chip Roy nominated Rep. Byron Donalds from Florida against Republican leader Kevin McCarthy and Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries. He quoted the other Black man who existed at some point, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and said, "We do not seek to judge people by the color of their skin but rather the content of their character.” Donalds is about to start his second term in the House, so forgive me if I think the color of his skin might’ve factored into Roy’s decision.

Fox News did not recognize Donalds on their vote count boards for McCarthy’s fourth, fifth, and sixth round of wedgies. He was listed simply as “others.” 

“MSNBC and CNN have Donalds on their vote count boards; the Fox networks do not.”

— Matthew Gertz (@Matthew Gertz) 1672853638 

When Rep. Lauren Boebert, whom we’d hoped to never see again, nominated Donalds for the fifth vote, he’d already left the chamber for an appearance on Fox News. Brian Kilmeade from “Fox & Friends” had interviewed him earlier Wednesday morning, before the second day of McCarthy beat downs. He foreshadowed his later “no” votes, claiming that McCarthy hadn’t compromised enough with the Treason Caucus. For instance, while McCarthy might’ve folded on the motion-to-vacate, the rules still require five members and not just one! Seriously, these fools want to mutiny whenever a single Republican House member gets pissed.

Fox News kept reminding folks in its chyron that Democrats were delighting in the spectacle while callously munching popcorn. That’s bad! Yet, Rep. James Comer tried to convince Harris Faulkner that there was "no reason to panic” and Republicans were in fact offering Americans a chance to see “what democracy is all about.” Wait, so you can’t enjoy a snack while watching democracy in action? I confess I’m not fully versed on the appropriate etiquette.

Comer previewed the big Republican agenda once they finally elect a speaker: Joe Biden! Afghanistan! Dr. Anthony Fauci! Merrick Garland and his big mean Department of Justice! And, yes, Hunter Biden and His Amazing Technicolor Laptop. McCarthy’s public humiliation might actually prove more beneficial to the American people. We all need to laugh more.

They did eventually get back to drag queens during the down time.

YouTube 

This is what rightwing shut-ins watch all day? It might qualify as elder abuse. So, rightwing bigots are freaking out because the shoe company Crocs is sponsoring a RuPaul drag show in the UK, which isn’t even this country. The RuPaul DragCon Facebookpage says, "Hit them with your catwalk, kids. Bring it to the runway with your parent/guardian for the #DragCon UK 2023 Kids Fashion Show, Sunday 8th January on the @crocseurope Main Stage!” This is parental rights in action. There are no unattended minors at the drag show. No one is forcing kids into drag, either.

Reality, however, didn’t stop Fox News hosts from declaring the whole event repulsive and predatory. Still, it was the happiest they looked all day. Fox News just seems happier smearing drag queens than glossing over Republican incompetence. Unfortunately, the network’s about to endure a very long couple years. I couldn’t be happier.

  Follow Stephen Robinson on  Twitter if it still exists.  

Subscribe to the Wonkette YouTube Channel for nifty video content!

Look at our pretty photos on Instagram! 

Yr Wonkette is 100 percent ad-free! Please subscribe, donate, and otherwise help keep us alive and kicking!