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Gay Nutcrackers! Disabled Black Santas! And Other Holiday Monstrosities, According to Fox
Yep, it's War on Christmas time again.
The holidays are upon us, and once again a cry goes up across the land: To arms, to arms! Grab your musket! Kiss your children goodbye and flee their tear-stained faces! Set your face towards the rising sun and march, march towards the waiting enemy, bayonets affixed and glistening in the dawn light! May you meet the enemy, that godless and demonic force poised to conquer all of Christendom, in vicious combat, and may you rend him limb from limb, spilling his blood all over the chestnut-and-gift-wrap-strewn battlefields!
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Yep, it’s the War on Christmas, that most wonderful time of the year when insane people are totally triggered if they have the misfortune to spot a Hanukkah display at Home Depot. And who better to lead the troops into battle than Jesse Watters, the smug pile of hair gel and bigotry currently holding down the 8 p.m. timeslot during Fox’s nightly parade of angry goyim twatwaffles:
“Gay nutcracker. Complete with a rainbow hat, a trans flag, full price 12 dollars but right now it’s on sale for eight. Target also sells Santa ornaments. But Target’s Santa is in a wheelchair and is Black.”
We checked the Wonkette archives and wow, this year is the 10th anniversary of Megyn Kelly kicking off the annual Fox tradition of assuring terrified Aryan children that Santa is really a white guy who will bring you a bike instead of stealing it. Gay nutcrackers! How dare they! No gay person would ever have anything to do with a ballet!
TEN YEARS AGO! WOW!
Watters then brought on Riley Gaines, a former college swimmer who lost a race to a transgender woman her senior year of college and has in short order turned complaining about it into a career. Apparently she has realized that she has to diversify her targets of bigotry if she wants to keep riding the right-wing pundit anger train, so she has enlisted as a foot soldier in the War on Christmas:
“It doesn’t make sense. You have to ask yourself, you know, why do they keep pushing this? Who are they trying to appeal to? Despite what the media portrays or how politicians are voting, this doesn’t represent how the overwhelming majority of this country — really how the world — feels on this issue.”
“I think the majority of people, parents especially, they can acknowledge that Gay Nutcracker and Black Disabled Santa has gone way too far.”
Again, *citation needed.
Also, note the chyron reading “The Dylanization of America” under Gaines as she speaks. This is a callback to the shit fucking freakout last summer over Anheuser-Busch printing one can of Bud Light with the face of transgender woman Dylan Mulvaney for a promotion on her Instagram page, an act that became the worst humiliation America has faced since whatever nonsense the feral wingers had freaked out about the week before.
Yr Wonkette would like to take this moment to push back on Gaines’s assertion that the “overwhelming majority” of people agree with her on this issue. We would bet, based on what a loser pushing culture war issues has been for Republicans in elections as recently as a week and a half ago, that a majority of Americans simply do not give the remotest of fucks about seeing a Nutcracker doll with a pride flag on a shelf in Target. Nor have Disabled Black Santa in a Wheelchair ornaments driven all other Christmas tree ornaments out of the market.
We’re betting this doesn’t even make the top 500 of concerns for the vast majority of Americans at the moment, or really ever. The vast majority of Fox viewers? Eh, who knows and who cares. As we have said about other issues such as abortion and gay marriage, “Don’t like Gay Nutcracker with a Pride Flag or Disabled Black Santa in a Wheelchair ornaments? Then don’t buy any and shut the fuck up.”
This goes double for Jesse Watters.
Help Wonkette buy gay nutcrackers and make Jesse Watters sad.