Generals Told Pete Hegseth Not To Target Civilians And You’ll Never Guess What Happened Next

SPOILER ALERT!

Secretary of Defense and immediate swipe left Pete Hegseth had a problem.

Hegseth has never met a civilian murder he wouldn’t order the military to carry out. But when he started work at the Pentagon early last year, he found that the military had a program called Civilian Harm Mitigation and Response. This program was designed to do just what its name implied. Its personnel tried to “develop a picture of life on the ground” for civilians in combat zones. The military could then use that information to pick bombing targets that — in theory — minimized risks to those civilians.

But avoiding civilian casualties is an inexcusable restraint on the military, according to Secretary of Defense the Punisher.

Because he is a clueless dumbass, Hegsseth polled senior military leadership about whether anyone wanted to keep the program. He was sure the military hated CHMR as much as he did. He was sure that when asked, every general would say, Sir, it’s an inexcusably woke program forced on us by Sleepy Joe Biden and the radical Left, and it means we are constantly fighting with one hand tied behind our backs. Naturally, we are war fighters like yourself and we just want to bomb and kill indiscriminately.

Then, surprise! Virtually everyone polled wanted to keep the program in place. They told Hegseth that CHMR was a “valuable tool.” Ending it would mean “an increased risk of target misidentification.” For example, you might then bomb a school full of adolescent girls and kill 150 of them or something. That (someone probably had to explain to Hegseth) would be bad.

Hegseth listened. He just didn’t like what he heard, so he ignored it:

Hegseth gutted the effort, leaving only a handful of people to carry out the mission. It was stripped of almost all of its funding, even as the U.S. launched new campaigns in Somalia, Yemen and Iran. One official summed up the Hegseth approach as: “Bombs away!”

Thousands of civilian deaths later, the program may be coming back in a rare case of this administration, under pressure from allies, tacitly admitting they got one wrong. Which leads to only one conclusion: The Secretary of Defense is a total cuck.

Hegseth is also reportedly planning on ordering all serving flag officers to meet him for drinks at Quantico again. Remember a year ago when he summoned all the generals and admirals because he was lonely and he needed to berate someone, so he yelled at them that they were too fat? That went over well with everyone and definitely did not make Pete Hegseth look like a child assembling the mansion staff so he can yell at them for his bathwater being cold.

Last year’s meeting mostly involved Hegseth ranting about DEI and WARFIGHTERS and LETHALITY and getting visibly confused when America’s most senior military officers didn’t leap out of their chairs, yell huzzah, and dance him around the room while singing the finale of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

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Going to all that effort to get to Quantico from every command station on the planet no matter how remote, to fly in every flag officer involved in active wars just so you can yell “no beardos” at them in person, did not endear Hegseth to the military then, and we doubt anything has changed.

Unless Hegseth has used the past year to purge the military of any officer who isn’t 100 percent loyal to him. Which he might have done. This week he blocked the promotion to general of four Army officers. The reason? Possibly that they worked for other generals he doesn’t like:

So far this year Mr. Hegseth has removed at least 45 officers, selected by boards made up of peers, from promotion lists. More than half of those officers have been female or Black.

Mr. Hegseth’s actions appear to violate the rules governing a promotion system that is meant to be apolitical and merit-based.

But to Pete Hegseth, there is no way the promotion system could have ever been merit-based. If it was, how did all those Blacks and women get promotions?

Imagine your decades-long military career getting kicked to the curb by a no-talent hunk of taint smegma like Pete Hegseth. It must be galling. Hey, anyone remember what happened in Iraq when we dissolved Sadaam’s military and suddenly there were a ton of highly trained and very pissed off generals with nothing to do all day? Those guys just grumbled for a bit and then found other careers, right?

And Hegseth keeps failing up, or trying to. Now The Wall Street Journal is reporting that Pete and his babysitter/wife have been floating the idea of his running for president in 2028. It will be fun watching his campaign try to tout his accomplishments: He talked the president into an impossible and stupid war that he lost in five minutes, he pushed Navy sailors to the brink of death, he used up most of America’s entire reserve of munitions so we now look weak and vulnerable, and he did all this while purging the military of much of its senior leadership, civilians included. Vote Pete in ‘28!

Donald Trump should encourage this, simply because there is an excellent chance Hegseth is such an incompetent boob that Trump has a shot at going down in history as only America’s second-worst president.

[ProPublica / WSJ / NYT / Mediaite]

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