Giant Kamala Harris Crowds Sending Trump Spiraling, Bless His Heart
Too bad, so sad.
Denial, as the old saying goes, is not just a river in Egypt or a cliché in writing.
Don’t tell convicted felon Donald Trump, though, because his current stance that pictures of giant crowds gathered for Kamala Harris rallies are AI-generated fakes is too goddamn funny.
As anyone who has been anywhere near a TV or an internet connection or Wonkette knows, Harris and her running mate Bob Vila — sorry, Tim Walz — spent last week drawing enormous numbers of spectators to rallies across several swing states.
This fact would be worrisome to a normal politician locked in a close race. He might think, “Uh-oh, my opponent has lots of enthusiastic supporters! I better rally my own people, or else I could lose this election!”
But to Donald Trump, whose brain is a slurry of fathomless insecurity and rancid rice pudding, this fact is not a fact at all. It is actually a conspiracy by the Harris campaign, several thousand media outlets, and we guess thousands more people with cellphones who all have access to some secret Democrat AI that creates the most realistic photos and videos anyone has yet seen from the technology.
In fact, our own Editrix was at one of those rallies, and she is not AI! And if she is AI, who the hell did we go drinking with in Los Angeles a whole bunch when we lived there in the mid-2010s? And whose ass did some TikTok capture in Detroit?
Anyway, it is much easier for Trump to sit in that bargain bin Versailles down in America’s dingus and scrutinize whatever pictures brain-poisoned losers are putting on social media like a Kennedy assassination researcher going frame by frame over the Zapruder film:
Okay, first of all, maybe the crowd was entirely made up of vampires who all had gotten hold of that jewel from Season three of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” that allowed vampires to walk around in broad daylight. Did Dinesh D’Souza ever think of that?
Second of all, Jesus Christ, just google “how reflections work on a curved surface,” you absolute turnips.
Former President Brainworms was not done. In a followup tweet or skeet or truth or whatever we’re supposed to call these splotches of bird diarrhea that keep plopping onto his social media, he went on an extended rant about Harris and the “mirror like finish” on Air Force Two and her fake crowds and oh Lord who knows, it’s like trying to decipher Sanskrit with him sometimes:
If lying about crowd size was an offense leading to disqualification from a presidential race, Donald Trump wouldn’t have gotten past that first day in Trump Tower in June of 2015, when he claimed thousands of people had turned out to watch him kick off his campaign. (We were there and can assure you that – much to your shock, we’re sure — he was lying bigly. It was more in the dozens, and it turned out a lot of them had been hired to be there.)
It does not really matter if Trump actually believes this stuff, though our opinion is that his mind is so addled that he absolutely does. But he is laying the groundwork for his supporters to find excuses to not accept the election results in November. Harris wins? No way, “they” rigged the vote just like “they” faked all those pictures of enthusiastic crowds at her rallies.
Not that Trump and his supporters really need any more excuses to flip out when Harris and Walz beat the Depends off him in November. But a few more large crowds show up at their rallies and there is a good chance his brain will completely implode before then.
Wonkette survives because of you, you adorable little ragamuffins.
It all started when Trump was humiliated by a younger, attractive, charismatic Black man. And it's going to end with him humiliated by a younger, attractive, charismatic Black woman.
I don't know if there's enough schaden for all my freude.
"She was turned in by a maintenance worker at the airport."
Turned in? To what, airport cheater jail?