Guess Everybody Hates Angry Loser Weenus GOP Congressmen Who Yell At Teenage Senate Pages
If Derrick Van Orden was your dad you would drive him way out in the country and drop him off, probably.
There are a few new details in the story of Wisconsin Republican Rep. Derrick Van Orden, an angry little white guy GRRR ARGH who got very angry STOMP STOMP when he saw some teenage Senate pages lying on the ground under the rotunda in the Capitol one night last week, taking pictures. (It was their last week in the Senate page program. Memories! Or RAAAAAAGE! You know, depending on who you ask.)
He reportedly screamed at them words like “Wake the fuck up you little shits!” and “What the fuck are you all doing?” and “You are defiling the space you pieces of shit!” And so much more. Just a really emotionally mature guy.
He was very offended they would breach the decorum of the Capitol like that. (For Republicans we guess you’re only supposed to breach the decorum of the Capitol when you’re attacking it to overthrow democracy and overturn elections where the American people don’t pick the fascist. Did we mention Van Orden, who is a freshman, was present at the Capitol on January 6, 2021?)
Wonkette’s original piece on Van Orden included a tweet from Ben Wikler, chair of the Wisconsin Democratic Party, which mildly suggested drinking may have been involved. Specifically, Wikler said Van Orden’s statement on the matter (which was very huffy and Little Man Syndrome!) notably was missing the words “I'm sorry I drank heavily in my office and then screamed obscenities at teenagers.”
Well, the stories ever since then have all been along the lines of “God, everybody hates that fuckin’ guy.” Even the Republicans. People are just lining up to call him a milk toast douchebag. Here are the two party leaders in the Senate, saying what they think:
“I understand that late last night a member of the House majority thought it appropriate to curse at some of these young people,” [Chuck] Schumer said Thursday on the Senate floor. “I was shocked when I heard about it. I am further shocked at his refusal to apologize.”
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., agreed with Schumer, adding "everybody on this side of the aisle feels exactly the same way." Both Schumer and McConnell also took time to thank the Senate pages.
Everybody hates that guy. Republican Sen. Thom Tillis tweeted that it was “inexcusable and embarrassing behavior for a member of Congress or any adult for that matter.”
Republican Rep. Chip Roy of Texas tweeted pics of his own self lying on the ground and taking pictures of the rotunda:
Chip Roy sucks. Do you know what a low life form you have to be to make Chip Roy look like the bigger person?
Ben Wikler has continued to point out all the empty liquor in Van Orden’s office, after a photo of the empty booze bottles in there started going around Twitter.
And now NBC News has even more details on the original incident in question, along with more people calling Van Orden a low-class piece of dogshit. They have a witness who saw it, who said he was “physically aggressive” toward the children, that he was “screaming inches from the pages’ faces” and that he “shooed” them. (What a dork. I shoo you, teenagers! Consider yourselves shoo-ed!)
His spox confirms that he was indeed doing a “beer and cheese” event. Mmmhmmm. Musta been all that brie.
He was apparently giving a tour at the time, when he stopped to menace the children.
The source told NBC News that Van Orden, 53, also said, “I don’t give a f---who you are. I’m a congressman. My name is Derrick Van Orden, and I represent the 3rd District of Wisconsin,” and he called the group “pieces of s---” multiple times.
The pages, who were 16 and 17 years old, were “visibly shaken,” according to the source.
Christ, what a loser.
It appears the only person remotely defending Van Orden is — LMAO you guessed it — Speaker Kevin McCarthy, who is being a spineless Eric Swalwell Naughty Cuss about it. NBC News reports that on Friday, McCarthy said this wasn’t “the norm” for Van Orden, and claimed ignorance about what the pages were doing, saying “I guess the interns have some ritual of laying down or something like that. I think it’s a misunderstanding of all sides.” Fuck off.
As for what is “the norm” for Van Orden, we shall now remind you that in 2021 he had a great big little tantrum at a teenager working at the Prairie du Chien Memorial Library in southwestern Wisconsin because he didn’t like its gay pride display. He was reportedly really upset about John Oliver’s book A Day In The Life Of Marlon Bundo. Yes, the one where Mike Pence’s gay bunny rabbit gets gay-married.
The employee, Kerrigan Trautsch, who was 17 when it happened, told the story about the big man who was big mad about the book with the little bunny rabbit:
“His voice was loud, he was aggressive, he had his finger jabbing into (the book) constantly,” Trautsch said. She described the situation as “very uncomfortable, threatening.”
Van Orden repeatedly demanded to know who set up the display so he could “teach them a lesson,” she said. She had set up the display but was too afraid of him to tell him, she said.
“He was full-on shouting at this point and he kept aggressively shoving the books around,” she said.
He ultimately checked out all the LGBTQ+ themed books, so nobody else could read them.
What was Kevin McCarthy saying about how this wasn’t on brand for Derrick Van Orden?
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I am glad the Senate GOP is sticking up for their own pages.
That certainly falsifies my hypothesis that they couldn't even do one good thing on accident. Not really upping them in my general estimation, however.
The anals of history will look back on this dickbag and say, "what an asshole."